


Another Time, Another Place

by appleapple



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, First Time, In Universe AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:17:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 46,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4003795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appleapple/pseuds/appleapple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where they have to pretend to be married.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Roughly follows an altered version of canon events)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Almost the last people on their list to visit were a boy and his mother, living in the woods on the outskirts of the village. 

“It’s possible they’ll know something more than the others did,” Erwin mused. “The villagers said the aberrant Titan disappeared into the woods after it dealt with the others.”

“It would be impossible for them to know less,” Levi replied with his usual asperity. All they’ve gotten so far today has been a jumble of conflicting, contradictory accounts.

“Well, we’re almost finished, anyway. I think this is the turn for the farm.” 

They went down the sandy path together, their horses keeping pace companionably. Even this far out of the major cities, in the north, they had been recognized by most of the people they’d encountered. The cloaks were distinctive, for one thing. And Erwin was a tall, striking blond. Although not a vain man he was well aware of the impression he made on people, and not above using it to his advantage if it could further the interests of the Corp.

His companion was short and dark, with a youthful angular face, and almost as much of his physical opposite as it was possible to be. And yet when they were among strangers, it was Levi people looked at longest. Erwin knew what they were thinking. This is humanity’s hope? Humanity’s strongest soldier? The assessing looks followed Levi everywhere. Erwin had no doubt that Levi disliked the constant scrutiny, but the other man never publically let his discomfort show.

When they knocked on the cottage door it was answered almost instantly by a young boy. He was fairly tall, with dark hair. Erwin thought he couldn’t have been much older than seventeen or eighteen.

Erwin smiled pleasantly. “Hello,” he said. “You’re Eren Jaeger?”

“Y-yes sir,” the boy said. He was staring at the two of them, frankly terrified.

“I’m Commander Erwin, of the Survey Corps. This is Captain Levi. We’d like to ask you some questions about the recent Titan attack. Would it be all right if we came in?”

The boy nodded mutely, and he moved aside to let them pass. He really does seem terrified, Erwin thought, scrutinizing him closely behind a serene expression.

The boy went to the stove and took a deep breath. “Would you like some tea?”

“That would be kind. Thank you.”

There was already water boiling; Erwin supposed Eren must have heard them on their horses, long before they arrived.

Erwin glanced at his notes. “I understand you live here with your mother. Is she at home? We’d like to speak to her as well.”

Eren swallowed, pouring out the tea into white porcelain cups. “My mother’s dead, sir.” The words were so quiet he had to strain to hear them. Eren passed them the cups. “She died in the attack.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Erwin said. 

“What about your father?” Levi asked.

“He disappeared...right after the wall fell…”

Erwin and Levi exchanged looks. 

“In Shinganshina?”

Eren nodded. “We...barely escaped with our lives.” He covered his face with his hands and walked to to the window. He wasn’t crying; Erwin thought it was probably because he couldn’t. He had seen shock take a lot of forms over the years.

“So you’re all alone in the world then? No family? This is good tea,” Levi said. Erwin shot him a dry look.

“We don’t have any other family,” Eren whispered.

“Eren, please, come and sit down,” Erwin said, taking him by the shoulder. There were some low chairs facing each other in the sitting area, and Erwin guided Eren into one.

“I’m sorry if these questions are upsetting to you. We’re trying to understand what happened here so we can prevent it from happening again. Does that make sense to you?”

The boy nodded, the barest tilt of a head. Then, without, prompting, he began to explain what had happened that day, in a clear, emotionless monotone. It was by far the most sensible account that they had heard from any of the villagers, and Erwin began taking notes, while Levi watched impassively. Erwin didn’t interrupt, except to ask for an occasional clarification.

“That’s all that happened. All that I remember.”

There was silence for a moment. Levi sipped the last of his tea, enjoying the sharpness of it, before speaking.

“Not quite all,” he said, setting the teacup down. “You left out the part about how you turned into a Titan, to avenge your mother’s death.”

Eren hadn’t been looking either of them, all this time. He didn’t now, but he flinched visibly. He was leaning forward, his arms on his knees, staring at the wooden floor.

What he said next surprised them both.

“Are you going to kill me?” He looked at Levi for the first time. In spite of the dead expression, Levi could see that his eyes were very green.

“Because if you are, it’s all right. I don’t think it could be worse than this.”

“Eren,” Erwin asked. “Where is your mother buried?”

“There wasn’t anything left to bury. Sir.” It turns out Erwin was wrong; Eren can still cry after all.

 

 

“Well? Do you believe him?”

They had gone outside, to talk in private. Erwin had asked Eren to wait on the porch, in their line of sight, and he was sitting with his arms in his lap staring at the ground.

“There’s no way he’s lying about any of it, unfortunately,” Erwin replied.

“That’s what I think too,” Levi sighed. “What a fucking waste of time.”

Erwin shook his head. “It isn’t. We’ve found a human who can transform--Levi, think what that means!”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t know shit. He doesn’t know how he transformed. He doesn’t remember anything useful about his transformation, he doesn’t know if he can do it again...shit, Erwin, there’s about as much chance of him knowing anything about the others as there is of me sitting through one of Hanji’s lectures on Titan biology. The kid’s practically useless. Look at him, he’s a fucking mess.”

“He watched his mother get eaten alive by a Titan, Levi, and he’s just discovered he can turn into one of the monsters he fears most. Have a little compassion.”

Levi snorted and paced a few feet away. 

“You stay here with him. I’m going into town.”

“Why?”

“I need to buy another horse, for one thing.”

“When do you want to leave?”

“As soon as possible. There’s no time to waste. Get him cleaned up and make sure he eats something. I don’t think he has since his mother died.”

Levi nodded, absently. Babysitting wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time, but he had even less interest in riding hundreds of miles next to a smelly kid on the verge of starvation.

“Hey, brat, get up,” he said, coming back over to the porch after Erwin mounted his horse and rode back down the path at a brisk trot.

When Eren didn’t respond he grabbed him by the upper arms and lifted him to his feet. If Eren was surprised by the smaller man’s display of strength he didn’t show it. He was still giving Levi that creepy dead-eyed stare.

“You never said before,” he whispered.

“Huh?”

“Are you gonna kill me?”

“Probably not, but I’ll consider it if you don’t quit it with this moping around bullshit. What do you do for a bath around here?”

He got Eren settled in a tepid tub of water by the fire without too much of a struggle, and then he went prowling around to find the kid clean clothes and to pack for him. He didn’t trust Eren to do anything competently in this despair he’s in--he didn’t even fill up the bathtub more than halfway, just in case Eren decided that drowning sounded more fun than being experimented on by the Survey Corp.

He was in the kid’s room digging through drawers for clean shirts when he spotted an album on the bureau. Curiosity got the better of him, and he opened the first page. There were childish drawings in the beginning--trees, animals, a few juvenile sketches of people. The drawings stopped abruptly to be replaced by newspaper clippings. Every one of them was about the activities of the Survey Corp--Titans killed, missions succeeding or failing. The articles stretched back five years. At least half of them were about him, he realized uncomfortably. There were drawings of him in the newspaper clippings--some good, some less flattering. But there was no way the kid hadn’t known who he was--who they both were--when they walked up to the house.

Bringing the clothes with him he walked back into the living area. 

“So how come you didn’t join the military?”

“My mother wouldn’t allow it,” Eren said. “She thought if she could keep me out, then I’d be safe.” He smiled humorlessly.

“But you wanted to join,” Levi said, thinking of the articles, lovingly clipped and pasted into the book. It was a child’s admiration. Hero worship. But the last article had been dated a week ago.

“More than anything,” Eren whispered. “But I’m too old now.”

 

 

“You’re out of your mind!” It took a great deal to stir any sort of emotional reaction in Levi, but here he was shocked and outraged. Erwin allowed himself a small internal chuckle.

He had made good time, riding into the village and returning with a young piebald horse. He hadn’t wasted any time explaining his plan to Levi--although he had been tactful enough to do it out of Eren’s earshot.

“We need to get him into the Corp,” Erwin said, with his usual infuriating reasonability. “He’s too old for basic training. Can you think of another way to do it?”

“Fine, but why does it have to be me? Get some damn trainee his own age to marry him!”

“Who can we possibly trust Levi?”

Levi glared at Erwin, but said nothing.

“You need to be the one protecting him, anyway. Don’t you think it’ll look a little odd, if someone else’s fiance is sleeping in your room?”

“It’s going to look odd anyway!” Levi burst out. “I’m twice his age!”

“We’ll put a rumor around that we wanted him for his abilities with the 3D maneuver gear,” Erwin replied soothingly, “and that this farce is the only way we could get him into the Corp, at his age. All right? Will that appease your wounded pride?”

Levi continued to glare at him.

“No one will believe you’re his lover anyway, considering the way I’m sure you’ll treat him,” Erwin mused, half to himself. “Really, you have nothing to worry about.”

“Marry him to Hanji then! Or Mike! Or yourself!”

“Right, and we are back to the problem of explaining why he’ll be spending every free moment with you. Really, Levi, it isn’t like you to be so squeamish. When things are settled you’ll be free to divorce him.”

“You said,” Levi growled, “that things would proceed no further than an engagement--”

Erwin waved his hand magnanimously, “Or a broken engagement, then, it makes no difference. Until then I need your cooperation. All right?”

“I’ll do it,” Levi said through gritted teeth, “That doesn’t make it all right!”

 

 

It was the oddest day of his life, and in some ways the most terrifying. And that was including a number of odd and terrifying days; the day his mother had been murdered, the day he had seen the wall fall, the day he had first met Mikasa...

“Let’s go Jaeger!” Levi snapped at him, and before he could respond the Captain was off on his horse at a trot.

Erwin sighed and shook his head. “Really, Levi, that’s no way to talk to your fiance. Ready, Eren?”

Eren mounted, a little awkwardly, and said in an undertone, “Commander? Are you really...sure about this? Captain Levi seems very unhappy.”

“Don’t worry about the Captain, Eren,” Erwin said as they set out at a more sedate pace. “I’d tell you his bark is worth than his bite, but that would be a lie. If it’s a comfort to you, then know that Levi’s been charged to protect you with his life. He won’t hurt you.” Erwin paused, to consider this. “Unless of course you merited something to be hurt.”

“L-like what, sir?”

“Oh--well if you were in Titan form and lost control, or turned on your comrades. Something like that. And even then, Levi’s been instructed to avoid maiming you or killing you if possible. We’d prefer it if he just incapacitates you. So there, you see! Nothing to worry about.”

Eren gulped.

The three of them traveled until after dark, and then rather than look for an inn they made camp in an empty field by the side of the road. Eren was impressed by how quickly they set their tents up; he stood back after his initial offer to help, feeling useless and foolish. Only when they had finished did he reflect upon there being only two tents. He gulped.

“Here,” Levi said. Erwin had already ducked into his tent, murmuring an abstracted good night to the two of them. Levi thrust a waxed paper parcel into his hands, and went and sat on a rock nearby. Hesitantly Eren joined him. The parcel contained a wedge of cheese and cold sausage and bread.

Levi spread a handkerchief over his knees before starting to eat his own dinner. 

“If you get any crumbs in the tent,” he said, “I’ll kill you.”

“Understood,” Eren said, his voice hardly above a whisper. He wasn’t very hungry, but Levi seemed to be in a dangerous mood. He ate the food as carefully and as neatly as he could. When he had finished, Levi wordlessly offered him another handkerchief and his canteen. Eren took a few cautious sips, and then used a little of the water to wash his hands.

“You better not snore.”

“I--I don’t think so.”

“Hmph.”

There was just enough room in the tent for them to lie side by side, with a few scant inches between them. Fortunately there were two bedrolls. Levi climbed into his and turned his back to Eren; he seemed to fall instantly asleep.

Eren lay awake, wondering if he would sleep at all. This morning...this morning he had still been mourning his mother’s death. Wondering if what had happened had really happened...if it had been a dream. He could still remember how it had felt to transform. Alien, and yet also somehow a part of him. Tapping into some deep primal knowledge he had no conscious access to. Terrifying. And yet the blood lust he had felt in the Titan form had been so satisfying…

He shifted, uncomfortable with the direction his thoughts were taking. What would they do to him, the Survey Corp? He had no idea how he ought to feel. Too much had happened, too quickly.

Last week he had been arguing with his mother about getting the planting done in the field behind the house. Long dull days broken up only by the occasional snippet of news that arrived from town. He had been so bored by their monotonous, unchanging life. He had spent hours daydreaming about what it must be like to be in the Corp, to be a soldier fighting the war against the Titans. While knowing all the time that for him it would never happen; it was too late; he was too old.

And now...here he was. Lying next to Captain Levi. A man he’d never dared dream to even see in the flesh never mind…

Well. There really wasn’t anything to be nervous about, was there? (He told himself firmly, although his heart was beating faster.) Levi clearly had no use for him and just saw this as a distasteful part of his job.

But no one would know the truth except for the three of them. Erwin had explained that it was important to keep up the fiction that he was ‘engaged’ to Levi to everyone else. No one else must know his true purpose for being there.

His true terrifying purpose.

A sudden image flashed in his mind of his mother’s face, and he covered his eyes with his hands, feeling the tears come for the second time that day.


	2. Chapter 2

The journey to the Survey Corp headquarters was uneventful. Eren learned more about Erwin, who spoke to him a great deal, asking questions about his family and his past. But he learned almost nothing at all about Levi, though it was Levi he spent the most time with.

When they passed through the larger towns Erwin would disappear for hours to send messages and meet with people (who, exactly, Eren wasn't sure and Erwin didn't explain--but Eren was beginning to suspect Erwin had _some_ kind of spy or informant network...) leaving the two of them alone. After the first few hesitant overtures Eren stopped trying to engage Levi in conversation. The older man's only response was to grunt without looking up from the book he was reading. 

Eren had a lot of time to think. For years he had dreamed of joining the military--the Survey Corp in particular--and to say he had worshipped Captain Levi would have been an understatement. He had never imagined that his hero would be so taciturn--or so vulgar--or such a freak for cleanliness--or so short. 

Sometimes during their long rides he would find himself looking at the other man, thinking _how?_ How could it be that this small, unprepossessing man was responsible for more Titan kills than any other human? In spite of his anxiety at what the future held for him, he longed to see Levi in action. What would it be like to watch him in a Titan battle?

He tried not to think about his mother. But her face intruded upon his thoughts, often. He knew that by going with Levi and Erwin he was disobeying her dying wish. What choice had they given him, though? (He felt most guilty about being pleased by it. The Corp might be planning on experimenting with him, but here was finally a chance at freedom, a chance to see the world outside the tiny, suffocating village in which he had spent the last five years.)

He thought of turning into the Titan...that haunted his dreams, more than anything else. What was he? What kind of monster was he, to do that? It still didn't feel real. Unconsciously his hand drifted up to touch the key he wore around his neck. His father...some fragment of memory, or dream was there, not quite in reach...

"Eren."

Startled from his reverie, he jumped to his feet. Levi glanced up from the book he was reading and set it aside.

"I want you to meet someone," Erwin said.

It was a warm, sunny day pleasant and fragrant with the scent of growing things on the air. He and Levi had been sitting in the small garden outside their inn, Levi reading and Eren picking at blades of grass.

A tall woman stood beside the commander. She was smiling eagerly, her spectacles doing nothing to hide a friendly, open face.

"This is squad leader Hanji," Erwin said. "She knows more about Titan biology than anyone. She'll be working closely with you and Levi. I wanted to introduce you to her first, before we rejoin the rest of the squad."

Hanji seemed to take this as her cue; she stepped forward, grabbed Eren by the hand in a disturbingly firm grip, and began peppering him with questions. He thought he caught a gleam of amusement in Levi's eyes as he moved away to join Erwin.

"Uh, Commander? Captain?" he called after them nervously as the two men walked away.

"Don't worry brat. Hanji will take good care of you," Levi said, closing the small gate.

"I thought we could work on transformations at first and move on to regeneration from there!"

Eren gulped, and stared anxiously back into Hanji's unnervingly cheerful face.

........................................

It was a very different woman who greeted them that evening. She sat down uninvited at the small table that had been laid for dinner, Levi and Erwin having chosen to eat privately in Erwin's room, rather than the inn's public room, drained a cup of wine in one long draw, then set it down with a heavy sigh. Then she turned her gaze on Erwin.

"You've been duped."

"Pardon?"

"Duped! Misled, hoodwinked, flimflammed. Is there any more wine?"

"What do you mean?" Levi asked, pouring her a glass.

"That boy can't turn into a Titan anymore than I can!"

Erwin and Levi exchanged looks; "What happened?" Erwin asked. "Where is he now?"

"Putting the horses away in the stable. I've been out there with him all day: nothing!"

"He couldn't transform?"

"Couldn't or wouldn't," Levi muttered.

"I don't think it's a question of reluctance," Hanji said. "He seemed eager to please, and just as frustrated as I was. Or _nearly_ so," she added scrupulously.

"But we were out there all day! And not even a _glimmer_ of Titan came out! I tried cutting him, and the cuts didn't seem to heal any faster than normal."

"I hope you didn't cut off anything important," Erwin said with a note of amusement.

"Oh no, nothing he'll miss," Hanji said, saluting him with her glass. "He has almost no memory of transforming. Gave only the vaguest descriptions of what it was like." Hanji sighed, in profound frustration. "If he did do it, I don't know that he can do it again."

Erwin was about to reply, when there was a soft knock at the door. "Enter," he called.

Eren came into the room, looking glum and ill at ease. His knuckles were bandaged, Erwin noted. "I heard things didn't go so well today," Erwin said.

"No, sir. I'm sorry."

"Well, sit down and have something to eat. You look like you could use it."

A place was made for Eren at the table, and he sat down feeling oddly hollow. In a way, he was relieved not to have transformed. The experience had frightened him badly. But on the other hand, transforming was the key to his usefulness to the Survey Corp, and it hurt to disappoint them.

"It's all right, Eren," Erwin said, seeing his distress. The older man smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure you tried your best."

"Or held back on purpose," Levi muttered.

Eren looked up sharply; the accusation stung, not least because there was a grain of truth to it. "I'm sorry sir," he said, unable to keep a note of anger and defensiveness from creeping into his voice. "I tried my best, like the Commander said."

"Did you?" Levi asked. It shouldn't be possible for those two simple words to engender such fury within him, but they do. All the slights and barbed words from the past few days, the lack of trust, the contempt Levi seems to bear for him come to a head in that moment.

"Eren!" Erwin said sharply, and Eren blinked in surprise. He was on his feet, facing Captain Levi. He couldn't even remember standing up. With an effort he forced himself to unclench his fists and step away from the table. Levi was watching him with a cold, unreadable expression, Hanji looked concerned and uneasy, and Erwin for the first time since Eren had known him looked angry. Eren cleared his throat. His cheeks were burning, although it was from anger, not embarrassment. Erwin had recalled him to where he was, and who he was, but he still felt the burning anger within him.

"I'm sorry, sir," Eren said with a total lack of sincerity. "Please forgive me. Excuse me," he said vaguely to the three of them and left the room.

When he was gone Erwin raised his eyebrows at Levi. "Well," he said. "You got him angry. That seems to be what you wanted."

"Good," Levi said. "He'll need to be tomorrow, when we go out again." At Erwin and Hanji's expectant faces he nodded, and continued, "If what we believe about the other Titans is true, then that transformation must be a controlled event. As you've seen, that boy has no control. He can't transform on command anymore than an untrained beast. The last time he did it he was angry and in pain; we'll have to see if recreating those feelings can recreate the event."


	3. Chapter 3

Eren had spent many long afternoons daydreaming about what it would be like to join the Survey Corp. His teenage years had been full of lazy afternoons lying on his back in one of the fields behind their house, when he should have been tending to their rows of peas and carrots, and staying up late to pore over whatever old newspapers he could grub from their neighbors, clipping out any mentions of the Corp's activities with his mother's sewing scissors.

She had scolded him for laziness and woolgathering, and for dulling her scissors on paper, but he had never doubted that she loved him. He missed his father, missed the old life before the Titans had attacked. He longed for a future outside of their small town. But he had never wished his mother any harm, and the horror of her death was much fresher in his mind than the older memories of that fateful day in Shinganshina that had changed his life so much.

It was the Titans who had changed his life, he reflected sourly. Not once, but twice now. Well, they were approaching the Survey Corp headquarters at last--he'd begin his training and _then_ they'd see!

If you can manage to transform again, the little doubting voice in his head murmured. They don't want you for any other reason, in spite of the lies they'll tell to keep your secrets.

"Eren?" Erwin had switched places with Levi to ride alongside him.

"Yes, sir?"

"You're quiet this morning."

Eren shrugged, feeling himself blush and annoyed by it. "I'm...I'm sorry about my behavior last night."

"But?"

Eren looked at him, and Erwin smiled crookedly. "It's all right. You can speak freely."

"I just wish the Captain trusted me, sir!" Eren burst out.

Erwin smiled. "He isn't quite the dashing hero they make him out to be, is he?"

"Sir?"

"You aren't the first trainee to be disappointed by the reality of the Captain! Too short, too harsh, too clean!"

"I'm not--that isn't--"

"Let me give you some advice, Eren," Erwin said kindly. "You're stuck with Levi. That isn't going to change. No one says you have to _like_ him, but I promise your life will be much easier if you don't take everything he says so personally. Levi isn't personal."

Eren was about to protest--what, he wasn't sure (was it really so obvious that the Captain didn't live up to the heroic ideal Eren had imagined?)--when they were overtaken by a group of Corps members riding by in the opposite direction. Naturally and with no obvious effort Erwin guided his horse ahead of Eren's, and when Eren looked back he saw that Levi and Hanji had fallen into single file as well to make room on the road.

The Corps soldiers riding by all saluted Erwin smartly as they passed, and a few glanced at Eren without much curiosity.

Eren was sizing them up as they passed, a mix of nerves and pleasure (he was one of _them_ now, after all); some five or so had passed when he realized the girl riding at their head had looked familiar. He got only a brief glimpse of her as she rode past--an expression of seriousness, a pretty face framed by dark hair, but within seconds he had turned back to look at her. 

She had turned as well, peering back over one shoulder, and on that second glance they recognized one another. The next moment the girl had wheeled her horse about, breaking the formation. There was a murmur from the other soldiers as they pulled up short, expressions of surprise and confusion following their commander. 

"Captain Ackerman?" the young man that had been riding just behind her asked. 

She didn't answer. All her attention was focused on the young man riding between Commander Erwin and Captain Levi.

Eren didn't even realize he had stopped until she was in front of him. She stared at him, as if she was seeing a ghost from beyond the grave; he imagined he must have been looking at her in much the same way.

"Mikasa," he said, and with a choked off sob she threw her arms around him. He clutched her back, stupefied by this turn of events. The foster sister that he had thought was long gone, a child dead and buried (or worse) that awful day in Shinganshina was here now, alive and well.

"You two know each other?" Erwin asked.

"They're both from Shinganshina," Levi said. He had stopped further back to observe this reunion, but he'd heard the Commander's question.

"I thought...I thought he was dead," Mikasa said, half to herself and half in answer to Erwin's question. Tears sparkled at the corners of her eyes, but otherwise she was totally composed.

"I thought you were! Mikasa, I--"

"Quiet, Eren," Erwin said, grabbing his shoulder. "Not now. This...complicates things. Where were you off too?" he asked Mikasa.

"Supply run, to--"

"Well enough. You can ride back with us now. Let Yule take the others on without you. Tell him--damn it all..." Erwin said, at a loss for once.

Mikasa looked from Eren to Erwin in confusion. She had no idea the circumstances that had brought her foster brother--alive, when she'd thought him dead these last few years!--to the commander's attention, but she knew Erwin and she was quick to grasp that whatever the public story was he would have some subtler reasons for his actions. 

"I--Eren and I grew up together as children, sir. I can tell him that. We were separated that day and...well, you saw. Everyone knows what happened there, that day. I thought he was dead. And he thought I was." 

"Yes--yes--perfectly true. Fine, tell him then."

Mikasa nodded, and rode back to her second-in-command--there was a murmur of congratulations and happy surprise circulating among her squadmates, crowded close to hear the explanation for their buttoned-up Captain's odd behavior. Yule clapped her on the shoulder and nodded, then he rode off with the others. Most of them looked back curiously at Eren as they left. Mikasa returned to Eren's side, unfeigned pleasure showing bright on her face.

"Grew up together?" Erwin repeated thoughtfully.

"Yes, sir. Eren's family took me in, after my parents were killed. I never thought..." she brushed her hair out of her face, overcome with emotion. "I never thought to see you again in this life, Eren. Never, never."

"No," Eren said numbly. "I can't believe it. Mikasa, I looked for you, until my father said we had to go--that you must have been killed--I'm so, so sorry..."

"Don't apologize. Don't you think I looked for you that day, as hard as you looked for me? I--" she shook her head, then grabbed hold of one of Eren's hands, tightly squeezing. "This is a gift, Eren! I never thought--" She stared at him, shook her head again and laughed, disbelieving, tearful, and happy in equal measures. "I can't believe I'm not dreaming now," she said.

"Well," Erwin said, after a pause. "We'll ride a little ahead. Let you catch up. Yes?"

Mikasa beamed at him. "Yes, thank you, sir!"

Levi and Hanji passed them, but Mikasa barely noticed them. All her attention was on Eren--was he all right, where had he been living these last five years, how were his parents, how had he come to be riding with Erwin and the others--

He answered her as best he could, fumbling over the explanations. Since he hadn't received any other instructions from Erwin he had to stick with the official, embarrassing explanation for his presence here--he glossed over it as much as he could but Mikasa was so overcome with joy she hardly noticed. He asked her about herself, and she told him how she had joined the military when she had come of age--graduated top of her class and eschewed the Military Police in favor of the Survey Corps, and recently been promoted to Captain of her squadron.

In spite of his happiness, he couldn't prevent a small stab of jealousy at hearing of her successful career. Disgusted with himself, he pushed it down, asking her more questions. Hardly any time seemed to have passed when they found themselves back at headquarters--a familiar sight for everyone in the party except Eren.

He was looking around eagerly, drinking it all in, when a young man called out to them. "Mikasa! What are you doing back? Where's the rest of your squad?"

"That's Captain Ackerman to you, trainee," Levi remarked levelly, emerging into the courtyard.

The young man blushed up to his hairline--he had arrived after Levi, Hanji, and the Commander had stabled their horses, and he had only seen Mikasa and Eren ride in together--and mumbled an apology. 

"I'll need to borrow my _fiance_ from you now, Ackerman," Levi said, the word dripping with acid sarcasm. "You'll have time to talk later. Let's go, Eren."

Mikasa's mouth dropped open--Eren hadn't found a way to mention that most awkward part of the arrangement to her during their brief ride. He gave Mikasa a grieved, hangdog look, and then hurried after Levi on foot, an hostler having come to take charge of his horse.

"Did he just say _fiance_?" Eren heard the young man demand of Mikasa as he went after Levi. Furiously embarrassed, he found himself despising the Captain more than ever.


	4. Chapter 4

He scurried after Levi through long stone corridors and up narrow staircases until they arrived at a room high up in the building.

"Well," Levi said, dropping his bag on a chair. "This is it. You can sleep on the floor. I'll have someone find you a mat."

They were alone, and Eren had carefully closed the door behind him. He found that all his awe of the Captain had disappeared; he was no savior of humanity--just a cruel, unpleasant, unlikeable man.

"Did you have to do that?" Eren demanded, nearly choking with rage.

"Do what?" Levi asked.  He lounged against the window frame, sounding bored.  

"Humiliate me like that! In front of Mikasa--and--and whoever that was with her!"

Levi looked at him calmly. "Those were Erwin's instructions. I don't believe it pleases me any more than it pleases you. Have you forgotten that already?"

"I know they were! But you didn't have to do it in that way!"

"In what way?" Levi asked. It was infuriating how the man displayed no emotion at all! If anything he sounded mildly curious!

"Like that!" Eren repeated. "Just--the way you--"

"Would you have preferred it if I'd carried you in over the threshold?"

"No!" Eren said, enraged and appalled.

"Well, what is it that you object to? That I treated you with too much consideration or not enough?"

Eren opened his mouth to reply--then closed it again. His brain had finally caught up with his wild emotions. He realized, very belatedly, that Levi had probably handled the situation as best as he could. Treating Eren contemptuously (and really, there was no other way that snide 'fiance' could be interpreted) would make it clear that the 'engagement' was a fiction Levi viewed with distaste--and that they were both just obeying an unpleasant order.

"I--I just hoped everyone wouldn't find out so soon," Eren said at last, weakly.

"Huh! So you'd rather just be sleeping in my room without any explanation?  Sneak around and let people draw their own conclusions?"

Eren winced. Of course Levi was right. It was better that it was done quickly--and that people found out as soon as possible.  It didn't satisfy him, but he saw now that he hadn't thought about it properly at all.  The situation was far more difficult than he had realized--and for the first time he began to understand how uncomfortable it might be making Levi.

"I'm sorry, Captain," he muttered.  "I--I spoke without thinking."

"Hmph," Levi said, which Eren guessed amounted to something like 'apology accepted' or at least 'acknowledged.'

"So you know Ackerman," Levi said, turning his attention to the window.  He ran a finger over the sill, and then examined the dust with a deep frown.

Belatedly, Eren realized that, yes, of course Levi must know Mikasa--very well if she had been promoted to Captain.

"Y-yes, sir."

"She never mentioned you."

"Oh."

"But then she's never talked about Shinganshina much.  What happened that day.  She was a member of my squad until her promotion."

"Oh," Eren repeated.  

Levi looked at him, unreadable.  "I think you should get some rest.  I'll come and get you in time for dinner.  You'll see her then."

"But-"

"You can sleep in the bed.  For now."

"But--it's your bed--" Eren said, lamely.

Levi shrugged indifferently.  "The sheets need to be changed anyway.  You can do it later.  They're in the cupboard."  He strode calmly out of the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

Eren exhaled--feeling confused and very stupid.  Hesitantly he sat down on the edge of the bed.  Nothing happened, so he kicked his shoes off (carefully) and lay back.  He had been full of fine notions on the way here--imagined things he now understood were exceptionally foolish.  The last thing he had ever expected was to find Mikasa here--alive and well!  And he could thank God for that, but wasn't there a tiny arrow of bitterness in him, cutting straight to the heart?  What would have happened if they hadn't been separated in Shinganshina that day?  What might his life have looked like?  Moments later he was asleep, one arm thrown out across the bed as if to break his fall.

 

Levi made it only to the bottom of the tower staircase before being ambushed.

"What was THAT?" Mikasa demanded, eyes blazing.  She had clearly been waiting for him, and he was torn between annoyance and amusement.  

Levi paused, a step above her so that their eyes were nearly level.

"You're angry."

"Yes, I am!  What on earth were you talking about--'fiance'!"

"And yet," Levi reflected, "not angry enough to dash into my private apartments--to rescue Eren from being ravished--you waited here instead, until I had finished with him.  How very considerate of you."

"Oh, don't be absurd!" Mikasa burst out.  "You can't have the slightest interest in him, so what--"

"I'm afraid you may have just answered your own question," Levi interrupted, regarding his protege almost with fondness.

She stared at him impatiently.  "This is another one of Erwin's gambits isn't it.  Damn it all, Levi!"

"Such intemperate language," Levi observed, crossing his arms over his chest.  Whether he meant the curse, or the use of his name without the honorific it was hard to say; both were equally rare from Mikasa.

Mikasa rubbed a hand over her eyes, in an unusual display of emotion.  "I just got him back," she said, half to herself.  "Whatever Erwin's planning--"

"Don't get your back up Mikasa," Levi warned.  She stared at him.  They had an odd relationship--teacher and student, comrades-in-arms, and also the suspicion, on both sides, that they were related by blood.  Like so many things between them this was understood but never spoken of.  But now Levi was speaking--warning her not to worry, but also not to cross Erwin.

"If he hurts Eren--if he has plans for Eren--"

"Mikasa." Levi repeated, staring at her hard.   _Don't_ that look said.

_Don't what,_ Mikasa thought in irritation.   _Don't test my loyalty?  Don't make me choose?  Don't worry?  Don't make trouble?_

"I can assure you Eren's safety is very important to Erwin."

"And that's all you'll tell me," she said, nonplused.

"Officially, that's all there is to tell."

"That, and that you're engaged."

"What can I say," Levi deadpanned, "the boy has entranced me.  I'm besotted."

Mikasa snorted.

"I can't stay and talk with you all day.  I've got to see Erwin now."

Mikasa stepped aside.

"Leave him alone for the moment."

"But-!"

"Mikasa...he's had a shock today.  A pleasant one, I'm sure, but coming on the heels of other shocks...did he mention his mother?"

"No," Mikasa said, surprised by this change in tack.  "I asked about his parents--but we had so little time to talk, I don't think he said--"

"Well, his mother is dead," Levi said.  "About a week--no, at least ten days ago now.  So don't worry at him.  Give him a little time." 

Levi left, and Mikasa gaped after him, realized what she was doing and snapped her mouth shut.  It was so out of the ordinary for Levi to express an interest in anyone's emotional state!  She didn't know if he had spoken up out of concern for herself or for Eren...or which idea she found more disconcerting.  Of course, it might have simply been to get her to cooperate, she thought uneasily.  She wouldn't stand by and let Erwin shift Eren around as if he was simply a chessboard piece.  Levi had realized that and maybe he was just trying to save them all trouble.  She sighed.  Well enough for Levi--you couldn't doubt his principles.  But she knew that some things were more important.


	5. Chapter 5

“Well?”

“It changes things. I want to give it more thought before we take him out.”

“Not today then. No.”

Levi hesitated. “Ackerman…” he began, then drifted off.

Erwin leaned back in his chair, an expression of faint surprise on his face, and watched Levi in thoughtful silence. He had known the younger man for many years, and he had rarely seen Levi display uncertainty. On their first mission outside the Walls, Levi’s young companions had fallen to the enemy. With them had gone whatever had been left of Levi’s innocence. But occasionally through the years he’s seen someone recall that protective streak, never fully extinguished. Mikasa is certainly his protege. Erwin knows that he cares for and respects his young colleague; until recently, she had been second in command of Levi’s own squad.

“Yes?” Erwin said mildly.

Levi looked at him, cool and unemotional. “I’m concerned about her. I’ve never seen her act like this towards anyone before. And she’s never mentioned him to me.”

“You think she’ll interfere.”

“I’m certain of it.”

“So what do you suggest? What should we tell her?”

“Erwin...I know you want to keep this a secret. But I’m not certain that we can.”

“Hmm,” Erwin said. He steepled his fingers and rocked slightly in his chair. “We’ll go out tomorrow,” he decided. “And we’ll bring Mikasa along.”

Levi raised his eyebrows, but only said, “Do you intend on explaining things to her beforehand?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

An expression passed quickly over his face--skepticism? wariness? mistrust?--but was quickly gone, and Levi merely nodded and rose to leave.

“There’s something else,” Erwin said, not looking at him.

“Hnn,” Levi said, suspicious.

“I’ve only gathered more evidence on our journey back here, and the reports since our arrival confirm it. There’s a spy in the Corps. Perhaps even more than one.”

Levi closed his eyes. 

“They’re going to be scrutinizing us closely, Levi. This is too sensitive, too important for our enemies to gain the lead on us. Time is not on our side--you, of all people, know that.”

“Well? What are you suggesting?”

“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to do your best to make it believable.”

“What do you want me to do? Ravish him in the mess hall?”

“I want you to do your duty to the Corps.”

“Sir,” Levi said, sarcastic as Erwin had ever heard him, and left the room.

 

*****

 

Eren woke up from strange dreams to find it was late afternoon. Fragments swirled around him for a moment--long forgotten memories of his mother and father and Mikasa, the cottage, the men he and Mikasa had killed...Armin...his father...the necklace he wore…

For a moment just before waking it had all seemed perfectly clear but now it was a muddle again. Groggily he sat up and rubbed his eyes. It was late afternoon and the light had changed, throwing long shadows over the floor. But there was a beautiful amber quality to the late afternoon sunshine, and Eren wondered if that was why Levi had chosen this room.

It was an almost whimsical thought, but once it was in his head he couldn’t shake it. This was Levi’s room. He looked around. Captain Levi had sat in here--slept in here--read books and written letters in here. And now he, Eren, was in this room...it seemed impossible that fate had twined them together like this, yet here he was. 

Remembering the Captain’s earlier orders he went to strip the bed and replace the linens. He took a long time over it, trying to make sure the sheets were perfectly neat and the corners were sharp. There was a faint herbal, soapy smell to the sheets, clean and sharp...not unlike how Levi himself smelled. 

When the bed was made he went to the small bathroom to clean himself up, and then left with a vague idea of finding the dining hall, assuming the others would be there for dinner. 

Once outside, he looked around feeling disoriented. He had thought he had simply been retracing his steps from earlier, but he must have made a wrong turn somehow. This was not the courtyard by which they had entered that morning, but a long stone collonade facing a belltower. He looked around, trying to orient himself, and was relieved when Levi appeared, coming towards him from the far end of the walkway.

The older man stopped a few feet away from him and nodded. “I was coming to find you. How do you feel?”

Surprised, Eren replied, “I’m well, sir...thank you.”

Levi sighed. “I don’t like this,” he muttered. 

“Sir?”

“I’m sorry; our orders have changed. It has to be believable.”

Before Eren could ask what Levi meant by that, the Captain had taken him by the shoulders, in a gentle but uncompromising grasp, and was kissing him soundly.

Eren’s only previous experience with kissing had been with a girl a year younger than himself at the last King’s Day Festival; it had been nice...pleasant. The girl had been pretty and sweet, but he hadn’t had the opportunity to do more than kiss her--he hadn’t even had time to put his hands on her trim little waist before she’d giggled and wiggled away from him with a coy smile to rejoin her friends.

This kiss had nothing in common with that kiss. For one thing, Levi knew exactly what he was doing; there was no opportunity for Eren to break away. Levi’s arms were around him, strong and muscular. Levi’s mouth was warm and surprisingly sweet. His skin pressed to Eren’s face was softer and smoother than he would have expected--not soft like a girl’s, but different.

There was nothing fake about the kiss; Levi’s tongue was in his mouth, and he was nibbling away at Eren’s lips. Eren was quickly figuring out that he liked this, and had started to respond in kind, when Levi pulled back with a weary sigh. “Well, I hope that was good enough.”

Eren gaped at him. “Uhn?” he managed.

“Someone’s watching us from up there. Don’t look. Come on, let’s get to dinner.”

“Wh-who?”

“I don’t know.” Beat. “You’re not to repeat this to anyone, even Mikasa. Understand?”

“Uh--yes.”

“We have reason to believe there’s a spy in the Corps. Your arrival coincides with certain...activities...that we do not want known about. We have to assume that you’re being watched. I’m sorry about...that. But Erwin feels it’s necessary.”

“You mean...we’ll have to do that again?”

Levi grimaced and did not answer. Eren found himself practically delirious at the prospect. Would they have to go...further, next time? Oh Gods, did he hope so. He was so hard it hurt. What would it be like if Levi touched him...there?

Levi, for his part, was glad Eren was being quiet for once. He needed time to think and be alone, and he wasn’t likely to get much of either. Erwin and his stupid plans…!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess a good chunk of this got cut out somehow the first time I posted this chapter, womp. It should make more sense now.

Dinner was a kind of vegetable stew served with fresh bread, but Eren hardly tasted it. He was disoriented by the kiss Levi had given him outside. He could still feel the faint touch of lips pressed to his face. 

Mikasa grabbed him as soon as he walked into the dining hall, and he spent the evening talking to her, feeling as though he was sitting outside of himself. Part of him was talking to Mikasa, but part of him was remembering Mikasa as a child of ten when he'd last seen her. Part of him was reliving the kiss Levi had pressed upon him, and part of him was remembering being in the cabin with his mother, pasting newspaper clippings about Levi and the Survey Corp into his journal. Could he be the same person in all of these instances? Could all of this really be happening to _him?_ _What is wrong with me?_ he wondered. _This morning all I could think about was how much I hated him._

"I just can't believe you're really here," Mikasa said, buttering her roll. "I feel like I'm dreaming. When we couldn't find you after the attack--after we got separated--I hoped you'd turn up. I dreamed about it, so many times. Armin too."

"Armin," Eren said, finding the name difficult to say. "You're saying--Armin's alive?"

Mikasa stared at him. "I didn't tell you? Eren, I'm sorry--!"

"No, it's--that's wonderful. I just can't believe it," Eren said. "Where is he?" And he turned his head, searching the unfamiliar faces that filled the dining hall for a glimpse of his friend.

"He's in the capital. Mitras," Mikasa said. She looked a little preoccupied. 

"Is he--he joined the Survey Corp too?"

"Yeah. We both did."

 _Because of me? Because it was what I wanted?_ Eren wondered.

"Is he a Squad Leader too?" Eren asked, trying to keep his voice carefully neutral. _If we'd just been together...what would I have been able to make of myself? What would I be doing now?_

"No, he..." Mikasa hesitated, chewing her lip for a moment. Then she looked straight at Eren, and said quietly, "Eren, I want you to know something. I'm loyal to you. Before anything else. If you're ever in trouble, you can rely on me."

"Huh?" he said, baffled by this turn in the conversation.

"I would give my life for the Corp," she said. "But I won't put it above my loyalty to you. I just wanted you to know you can trust me."

Before Eren could say anything else, Levi wandered over and sat down next to them. Eren had been consciously keeping his eyes off of the older man, but he'd noticed Levi talking to Hanji for a while after they'd come in. 

"Armin's in Petra's Squad," Mikasa said, picking right up where she'd left off. "They're in Mitras right now, but they should be back in a few days." Glancing at Levi beneath her long lashes, Mikasa continued, "Petra used to be in Levi's Squad. She still hasn't gotten over being promoted."

Levi snorted. 

"Who--who's in your Squad now then, sir?" Eren asked.

There was a stony silence, and Eren wondered what he'd said wrong. He was just trying to decide whether he should try to apologize or change the subject when Levi spoke.

"No one."

"Huh?" He looked from one to the other of them, bewildered. Mikasa looked upset; Levi looked neutral--but then, he always did.

"A year ago," Levi said, "we were on a special expedition when we were attacked. My Squad was attacked. I wasn't there. Mikasa and Petra were the only survivors."

"I--didn't know," Eren said, looking from one to the other. Mikasa, still so obviously upset, and Levi, speaking as calmly as though he were relating some incidental piece of news.

"No," Levi agreed. "You wouldn't have had any reason to. Erwin kept it out of the papers."

He had a lot of questions, but he didn't dare ask any of them. He would have risked asking Mikasa on her own, but not with Levi there.

"You should tell him everything, Levi," Mikasa said. "He's going to want to know why Petra hates his guts when she gets back here."

Levi looked at her coolly, and Eren winced; just that morning he'd spoken out of turn to Levi, but he was still uncomfortable seeing someone else do it. Like taunting a tiger.

"Petra and Mikasa have never gotten along," Levi said, still in that emotionless tone.

"She doesn't like competition," Mikasa clarified. When Levi didn't say anything else Mikasa nodded at him, and continued. "Levi decided afterward that it didn't make sense to rebuild the Squad with just the three of us. You need a good rapport with your Squad. Petra and I never really had that, but with the others as a buffer it was tolerable. Afterward..." She wiped the corner of her eye casually, as if she were just wiping away some grit.

"You were both strong enough to lead by then, anyway," Levi said, not looking at either of them. 

Mikasa cleared her throat. "It's getting late. I suppose I should be off. Good night," she said, standing up to leave.

When Levi got up shortly afterward Eren followed him silently, still chewing over all the unexpected things that had happened at dinner. He didn't think he had ever read the names of Levi's Special Operations Squad in any of his clippings; just that they existed. That they'd been disbanded--killed--a year ago had never been reported. Apparently at Erwin's command. Why? Because it would have hurt morale--or could there be another reason?

From what little he'd learned about Erwin so far he was willing to bet there was another reason.

But why hadn't Levi reformed his squad? He was dying to ask, but didn't dare say anything to Levi. He was a little nervous about going back to his room. Changing clothes--being in close quarters--he was feeling pleasantly nervously queasy just thinking about it.

As Levi had promised there was a thick mat on the floor, with blankets and a fresh pile of clothes and equipment on top of it.

"There's your uniform," Levi said. "Change."

"Uh--right now?"

Levi ignored him and walked to the window, staring out. Eren gulped and decided that was a yes. The shirt and pants were easy enough to figure out, but once he started jangling the leather harness Levi turned and came over to help him.

He showed him how to tighten the gear, and explained how to tell when everything was properly fitted. All the straps and ties Eren had been struggling with magically became self-evident once they were in Levi's hands.

"What?" Levi asked him impatiently at one point. "You keep staring at me, are you getting this at all?"

"Yeah," Eren said. "It's just..."

"Just what?"

"You--I keep thinking, you must have done this thousands of times, that's all. You're so good at it. It's...impressive."

Levi frowned. "It's not hard to learn, it just takes practice," he said brusquely. "Now take it off, and put it on again."

When Eren could quickly remove and replace the gear correctly Levi nodded and stepped back. "We're doing training tomorrow," he said. "Private lessons. Aren't you lucky."

He began to describe the equipment they'd be using the next day--the exercises and maneuvers they'd be running through. At this point Levi's estimation of him seemed to rise infinitesimally. Eren had read as much as he could about the Survey Corp, including what little public information was available about the military training camps. The questions he asked were intelligent, and when Levi asked him if he'd understood something the answer was always yes. 

"Well, that's it for now," Levi said, sitting back on his bed. "Might as well go to sleep." He looked away again, out of the unshuttered window at the distant stars that were visible. Eren squirmed around for a minute, then changed out of the uniform and into an old shirt and pair of worn old linen pants for bed. He was getting under the blankets when Levi spoke again.

"Eren."

"Yes?"

"I am sorry. About everything. It's what's necessary. You understand that?"

"I--think so sir."

Levi looked thoughtful for a moment, then he blew out the lantern.

 

 

The next day was better than he could have imagined. He had been nervous about getting the hang of the maneuver gear--but he made such good progress that Levi let him try a few lifts and passes by the end of the day. When they were riding back to the castle Levi told him, "The basics aren't difficult to master. It's becoming technically proficient that requires practice."

"Yes, sir."

"Still," Levi said grudgingly, "you did well, for the first day. You made more progress than I would have expected."

"Thank you, sir!" Eren said, overeager, and Levi frowned at him.

They rode on in silence, and Eren felt himself filling up with a kind of tired happiness. _Maybe_ he allowed himself to think, _my turning into a Titan was a crazy fluke, and I won't be able to do it again. But if I'm good with the 3DM, I'll prove myself to the Corp, and they'll let me stay..._

There was a loud crash nearby.

 _Thunk. Thunk. Thunk._ The rattle of bushes, the ground shaking, and then there in the road, facing them, was a seven meter class Titan.

Levi swore and grabbed the reins of Eren's horse, pulling them both back. "Fuck!" he yelled. "Damn it, Hanji!"

The Titan grinned and approached them--it was still a fair way off, but making quick progress down the road with its giant booming steps. Eren stared in horror at its grinning vacant face. It was only the third time in his life he'd been face to face with a Titan. Both times previously had resulted in him losing people he'd cared about.

"What do we--can you--"

"I'm out of gas," Levi said. 

_Of course,_ Eren realized dully. Levi had used it all up in training with him all day. 

"We have to--" 

There were cries from the woods as a half dozen Corps members appeared on horseback. One of them Eren immediately recognized as Mikasa; Hanji was another. 

"Mikasa!" Eren heard Hanji yell, "We need to recapture it and keep it restrained! Don't kill it!"

Mikasa nodded and flew up behind the thing's back to land on its shoulder. It reached up a giant hand to swat at her, as though she were a fly, but she quickly moved out of the way and landed on a high branch nearby. Still grinning, the thing changed direction, coming after her. Two other soldiers were uncoiling a huge steel cable to wind around the Titan's legs.

 _She's using herself as bait!_ Eren realized, feeling sick.

"Eren, stay here!" Levi said, and rode towards the others. When Levi was in range he grabbed a new canister from one of the others and quickly popped it into place, flying up onto the Titan to distract it from Mikasa. Eren brought a hand up to his face, biting his knuckle instinctually, feeling a hopeless rage fill him. He was so useless! 

He followed the action closely, eyes darting from one soldier to another as they worked together to try to bring the thing down. 

Suddenly two things happened at once; the Titan broke free of the cable just as the two members of Hanji's squad were winding it around its legs, and it reached out a hand to capture Mikasa. Feeling his rage boil over Eren screamed; suddenly he was viewing the world from the top of the trees. 

In Titan form he roared and ran forward to tackle the creature to the ground. The small figures on the ground dove clear.

"Very good!" Hanji yelled, delighted. "Eren, don't kill him though, we need him for our experiments."

Mikasa had cleared the grasp of the Titan, and she stood gaping now at the scene before her. Levi flew up beside her. 

"We'll need to remove Eren from the Titan if things get out of hand," he said, conversationally.

She gaped at him. "You--you--" she stuttered. "You knew he could do this? Is that--how can that be Eren?"

Levi didn't respond, watching the scene below with narrowed eyes. Eren's Titan was beating the other Titan to a pulp, which didn't concern him. The figures on the ground were keeping their distance. 

"Levi?" Hanji called from the ground. 

He signaled to her, and she flew up to join them.

"Squad Leader!" Mikasa said accusingly. "You knew about this as well!"

Hanji smiled apologetically at Mikasa. "It was Erwin's idea. We had some trouble getting Eren to transform on the road. We thought he might not have been motivated then, but now we know he can do it again!"

Mikasa stared at her wide-eyed, then returned her gaze to the scene below. "How?" she said to herself, quietly.

"Levi, what should we do?"

"He should be tired from today. Let's let him wear himself out before interfering."

Eren's Titan roared again and stood up. The other Titan was steaming below them. "He killed it," Hanji said, disappointed.

"He's going towards the castle," Levi said, and he sheathed his sword and flew after Eren's Titan.

Mikasa made to follow, but Hanji grabbed her. 

"Squad Leader!" she protested, angrily.

"Leave them, Mikasa! Levi knows what he's doing."

"But Eren--"

"He won't be hurt."

Levi reached the nape of Eren's Titan, and though he raised his arms to grab at Levi the Captain was too quick. Faster than those on the ground could follow his blades cut up the creature's neck, and as it crashed to the ground below he rode it down, landing in a crouch. He pulled Eren out of the Titan's neck, and Mikasa exhaled audibly upon seeing him unharmed. Now when she went down Hanji followed instead of trying to stop her. 

"That was a short transformation," Hanji remarked in disappointment. "Only fifteen minutes! I'd hoped for more time."

The rest of her squad was speechless. Levi leaped lightly to the ground, giving Mikasa an imperceptible shake of the head when she lurched forward to try to take Eren from him. She scowled at him, and he thought for a moment that if she were a little younger she'd be stamping her foot on the ground in anger. Levi held Eren's unconscious body up with one arm. 

To the assembled Squad he said, "You should all know Erwin's trusted you to keep this secret. We have a weapon now, to use against the enemy. No discussion of what's happened today, even amongst yourselves. Understood?" 

They nodded at him, with varying levels of unease and misgiving visible on their faces. "The Titan we captured got loose, and it was killed. That's all that happened here today." Satisfied with their response he nodded back at them. "Let's go."

 

 

He woke up and already tensed; he wasn’t alone. Then he remembered--Eren. Something had woken him and he relaxed, letting it come to him in its own time. Soft, muffled noises. 

Eren was crying again. Of course. He let himself roll his eyes and he turned just enough to be able to see out of the window. It was about 3 AM, he decided. He considered going back to sleep. Eren was being quiet. But if the soft sounds had been enough to wake him they had to have been going on for a while.

And he was the one that was stuck training the stupid kid; if Eren was too tired to function in the morning that _would_ be his problem. In one smooth motion he rolled silently to his feet and padded across the floor.

“Eren,” he said, and toed the boy in the shoulder.

Eren stilled and did a good imitation of nonchalance when he replied. “Sir?”

“Get up.”

Warily, Eren got to his feet.

“Come on. No, you don’t need your clothes, just come on.”

Eren followed him. Levi was just dressed in a long nightshirt that came to his knees. There was another staircase outside that led up, and that was where Levi took them. At the top there was a door that he pried open, and then they were up on the battlements.

Levi went to a gap in the wall and looked out. “The view’s not bad up here.”

Eren held himself; it was chilly and he was only dressed in his nightclothes. He hoped Levi wouldn’t keep them out too long.

“Why did you want to join the Survey Corp?” Levi asked him casually.

“Because I wanted to kill the Titans,” Eren answered immediately. “I wanted to be free of them.”

“For yourself only?”

“No!” Eren said, fiercely. “I thought--I thought Mikasa and Armin died that day. They destroyed my home, and everything I’d ever known. And what happened after....my mother and I escaped, but how many thousands perished because we lost the Wall?”

Levi nodded, as if this was what he had expected to hear. “Most that join have reasons similar to yours. And today? I told you to stay back; what made you decide to transform?”

Eren hesitated; he hadn’t thought he’d been in trouble for that. He’d thought it had been what they’d wanted him to do.

“I--was afraid for Mikasa, and for you, and the others. I didn’t want to hold back, if I could contribute something.”

Again Levi nodded, as if this was what he had expected to hear. “So you won’t hold back? Not just to protect your comrades, but to protect humanity?”

“No.”

“Will you sacrifice yourself, to save humanity?”

“Yes!”

“Are you sure?” Levi asked. “Think carefully about your answer and what that means.”

Eren clenched his fists, thinking of his time at the farm with his mother. “I won’t stand back and be a coward! I’ll give everything I have!”

“But you don’t want this power,” Levi said casually.

Eren pounded his legs with his fists and looked away. 

“That’s why you were crying, isn’t it? You wish it wasn’t yours.” Levi's voice was mild, but the accusation stung painfully. All the more because it was true.

“I never wanted it. I just wanted to be an ordinary soldier. It isn’t fair…” Eren said quietly.

“No. It isn’t fair, to watch your comrades die; crushed, eaten, maimed. Many times we haven’t even been able to recover their bodies. Nothing for their families to bury, even.”

Eren looked away, ashamed. Levi spoke without anger--without any emotion at all. But that almost made it worse. If he'd been angry, Eren might have been able to return that anger. When he spoke like this--an indifferent relating of the facts--it was impossible to make denials or defend himself.

“I’ve given everything I have to our mission. Do you know why?”

Eren shook his head.

“Because the comrades that I’ve lost have not died in vain. Their deaths bring us closer to victory against the enemy; that I believe. When we triumph over them it will be a victory for all that we have lost. Can you understand that?”

“Yes, sir,” Eren said, almost inaudibly.

“Hmm. What else?”

Eren kept his gaze down, uncomfortable under the Captain’s scrutiny. But it was impossible to lie. Depressingly he suspected the Captain already knew everything anyway. “You saw the way they looked at me, after,” he said, hardly above a whisper. “Squad Hanji.”

“Like you were a freak.”

“Yes.”

“Like they were afraid of you.”

“Yes,” he said, daring to meet Levi’s eyes.

“That is what you are,” Levi said, and Eren winced. “You can’t change that. All you can do is decide whether you will be a good man, or a monster.”

“Then--how do I be a good man!” Eren burst out. “I don’t want them to look at me like that--”

“By not complaining like a child because your feelings are hurt. The Survey Corp is sacrifice. Those that died on their first expedition outside the Walls, never gaining the chance to distinguish themselves, what do you think of them?”

“I don’t know.”

“They’re heroes,” Levi said flatly. “Do you think they wanted to die? They sacrificed their lives for humanity. If, at the moment of their death, any one of them were given a chance to aid our cause, by any means necessary, do you think they would take it instead?”

“Yes,” Eren whispered. “Of course.”

“If you choose to embrace these powers you honor their sacrifice. The sacrifice of all our fallen comrades. If not,” Levi shrugged. 

Eren was looking straight at him now, hands clenched at his sides.

“I will sacrifice myself for humanity, sir! I will honor my comrades!”

“No one can make you choose,” Levi said flatly. Reaching forward he pressed a hand against Eren’s heart, with enough force that Eren had to brace himself in order to not step backwards. “No one knows what’s in your heart.”

“I will take courage from their sacrifice,” Eren said in a fierce low voice. “I will.”

“Hmm. Even if it means you’re feared? Despised? That’s what sacrifice means. It’s not a child’s daydream; it’s doing what you must even if it means losing everything you care about.”

Eren nodded. “Yes. You’re right. I’m sorry for my behavior. I’ll do better,” Eren said. _I’ll try to make you proud of me,_ he thought.

Levi looked at him for a moment, then said, “Let’s go back to bed.”


	7. Chapter 7

The next day they trained again; after Levi gave him his third or fourth whack he stopped daydreaming and being so self-conscious and focused on the work. Fortunately, today there were no Titans to waylay them on the way back to HQ. Unfortunately, by the time they got back Mikasa had already left to rejoin her squad and Eren sighed unhappily over the brief note she’d left him.

He couldn’t help feeling her departure had been calculated to keep them apart. To keep him from asking her too many questions maybe.

Levi came into the room and, seeing him, paused. “She’ll be back,” he said, briefly. “You’ll see her again soon.”

Eren nodded morosely.

Levi fiddled with his equipment--put away neatly, of course--and Eren thought he seemed like he was about to speak again. But all he said was, “Come on, let’s get to dinner.”

 

 

 

 

There were two types of days.

Training days, which he loved. By the end of the first week Levi was letting him fly as long as he was close by to babysit. He was making amazing progress (not that Levi ever said that--but to Eren it _felt_ amazing.) At night he dreamed about flying, and he’d wake often, startled and throwing his arms out to catch himself.

The first time it happened, heart thumping, he’d laid there on the floor in confusion. “It happens to everybody,” Levi said, sleepily, nearby. “It’s normal. Go back to sleep.”

The other days--experiment days--he hated.

Hanji’s Squad were the ones entrusted with his secret. He knew they disliked it--that it disgusted them. But he remembered his promise to Levi and his duty to the Corp, and he tried not to let it bother him. 

They rode out far enough from HQ that they wouldn’t run into anybody else, and they stayed out until Eren was exhausted and it was time to head back for dinner. After the first couple of times he’d begged off from going to the dining hall when they’d gotten back from one of these excursions Levi had just let him stay in their room to sleep as a matter of course. After the second time, whenever he woke up there would be a tray of food waiting for him. He’d tried thanking Levi for this small kindness, but Levi had just frowned and shrugged it off.

A few times--always totally unexpected, and so long ago from the last time that Eren would have resigned himself to it never happening again--Levi kissed him. Though Eren frantically looked for one there was no sign that he could see that precursed it, except that they seemed to be alone. But they were alone together most of the time, so that wasn’t any good.

It wasn’t often. Only three or four times over a course of several weeks. But they were always real kisses, that left him light-headed and pleasantly woozy afterwards. As strange as the transformations in their way, but much much nicer.

Once Eren had felt Levi’s hands move up his back and work their way under his shirt.

 _Oh,_ he’d thought. _Oh, oh, oh, oh._ This was something Levi hadn’t done before. Could more be coming? Please let there be more.

There wasn’t.

Levi usually got up early in the mornings and came back later on to wake Eren. Eren tried to get up and follow him a few times--feeling guilty and lazy--but Levi just kicked him back to bed and told him to go to sleep. So he’d stopped trying. He supposed Levi wanted time to himself, which he hardly ever got with Eren hanging around his neck all the time.

And Eren was always so tired, he was grateful for any extra sleep he could get. Not to mention the mornings were the only guaranteed privacy he got, so....

He had a lot of time to relive those few kisses.

 

 

 

 

After a few weeks Levi came in one night and sat down on the bed with a grimace. “Pack your shit tonight,” he said. “Erwin says we’re going camping tomorrow.”

“Camping?”

“Hanji wants some more Titans to experiment on,” Levi said. “And it’s the first time all the new recruits will ride out on an expedition together.”

There was a different set of equipment they used in the field, and Levi made him go through it all, checking, folding, tightening, and organizing. 

“Normally, there’s a tent. You’re sharing mine.”

He had his own bedroll though.

He hadn’t spent much time with the other soldiers since most of his time was split between training with Levi and Hanji. There was a constraint when he did get assigned to the normal chores with them--natural curiosity on their side, and feeling like he can’t talk about anything on his. He thought, depressingly, that he was getting a reputation for being a weirdo. And that’s saying something in the Survey Corp. He didn’t want to complain to Levi about it. He was afraid of getting scolded again. He didn’t want Levi to think he was soft.

But when, on the ride out, he was assigned to ride with Jean and Reiner in Tomlat’s Squad he found it almost impossible to answer their friendly questions. Erwin had told him not to talk about--well, almost anything.

“You know Mikasa? I saw you talking to her at dinner the first night you came here.”

“We knew each other as kids.”

“You hadn’t seen each other all that time?”

“No--we got separated in Shinganshina, when--”

“So you were there that day.”

He tried to change the subject. “Did you join with Mikasa?” he asked Jean. “You’re our age, aren’t you?”

“We, uh, went through training together.”

“Jean joined the MP, then transferred last year to the Survey Corp,” Reiner said with smirk. 

“Oh--really?” Eren said, surprised.

“Yeah. Pining after Mikasa,” Reiner said.

“Shut up, all right,” Jean said.

Eren remembered suddenly--when they’d come back to HQ that first day, Jean had been the one who had asked Mikasa what she’d been doing back without her squad. 

“Oh,” he said.

“It isn’t like that,” Jean growled. 

“Did you--uh--join after Levi’s Squad was attacked?”

“Well--yeah.”

“What happened?”

“You’re his _fiance_ aren’t you?” Jean asked sarcastically.

“Yeah,” Eren said baldly, feeling unembarrassed for once. “He doesn’t talk about it.”

Reiner snorted. “Well, obviously,” he said. “No one really does.”

He and Jean exchanged looks, then Reiner said briefly, “We were on a routine mission when we were attacked. There was a female Titan--unlike anything else we’d ever faced before. She seemed intelligent. Like, _human_ intelligent. She attacked us--she’s the one that took out most of Levi’s Squad.”

“What happened to her?”

“We don’t know. She disappeared.”

“Like the Titans that attacked the walls.”

He’d been so curious about what happened to Squad Levi a year ago, since Mikasa had talked about it that night at dinner. But the explanation was more troubling than anything else he’d heard so far.

The female Titan had to have been like him. And the knowledge that there were other humans that could transform was terrifying. 

_No wonder Hanji’s Squad is so suspicious of me,_ he thought unhappily. 

“Why didn’t Levi rebuild his squad after what happened?”

“Well, Mikasa and Petra--” Jean made a vague motion with his hands.

“Yeah...Mikasa told me that. But he could have started again?”

“Well, we don’t know,” Jean said. “There’s a lot of speculation. A lot of new Squad Leaders just got promoted, so maybe that’s why. He’s waiting for the new trainees to get a little more seasoned. Right now everybody really good is a Squad Leader or a second-in-command. And I mean, I just joined,” he added hurriedly, at Reiner’s snort.

“What about you, Reiner?” Jean asked sharply. “You didn’t get picked the last go-round.”

Reiner frowned and shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s particular I guess. Eren caught his eye, maybe _he_ can tell us what he’s looking for.”

If the ride out made him uneasy then the next few days weren’t any better. He felt on edge around Levi. Now that he knew what had happened to Levi’s Squad he felt awkward around him. A Titan shifter had killed the people Levi cared about. And _he_ was a Titan shifter, even if he wasn’t a very good one.

The only good thing about their trip was that it meant a break from the experiments with Hanji. They couldn’t exactly carry them out with all the squads here--for whatever reason Erwin doesn’t want the information going further than it already has.

He wasn’t part of the group that went out to capture the Titans for Hanji’s experiments, and neither, to his surprise was Levi. 

“Come on, we’ll go out and train,” Levi said. “They don’t need us and I’m not sitting around here all day.”

He was hugely relieved to have an outlet for his stress and nervous energy. They couldn’t go out far--outside the wall it was too risky to separate from the rest of the Corps--but it was far enough that it felt private and as Levi led him through drills and exercises he felt the tension leaving him.

When they took a break for lunch Levi told him about one of the previous times Hanji had captured Titans to experiment on. He had an extremely dry sense of humor that Eren was familiar with by now, and it was a funny story. 

“What happened to those Titans?” Eren asked. 

Levi smiled grimly. “They were destroyed.” He brooded for a moment. “Someone snuck in and destroyed them. That’s why we guard the captured Titans now.”

“But why would someone do that?”

“To keep us from discovering valuable information about them. We can only speculate but that’s our best guess.”

“The spy,” Eren said. 

Levi shrugged. “Or spies.”

A thought suddenly occurred to Eren: Could _that_ be why Levi hadn’t rebuilt his squad? Because apart from a few trusted colleagues everyone else in the Corp was suspect? It was a troubling, paranoid thought and for that reason Eren thought it was probably the correct one.

He sighed. “It’s hard not knowing who you can trust.”

Levi looked at him seriously. “That’s one of the smarter things I’ve heard you say. Come on, let’s get back to it.”

 

 

 

 

That night they camped inside the walls. Hanji finished her capture in the morning and they made good progress getting back--not all the way back to HQ, but Erwin pushed hard to get them back inside the walls so they could spent the night in relative safety. They camped away from any town or village--the Titans they’d captured were secured, but Erwin wasn’t taking chances.

Levi put up his tent away from the others. He always liked his privacy, and there wasn’t much of it on their sojourns outside the walls. Eren ate dinner with Tomlat’s Squad, and Levi spent most of the evening closeted with Erwin and Hanji.

When he walked back to their tent after dinner he found that he was looking forward to getting back to HQ, more than he had expected. He had caught himself thinking about it a couple of times as ‘going home.’ He was so preoccupied that he almost didn’t notice that someone was following him--but maybe some of the senior officers’ paranoia had started to creep into his mind, because he _did_ notice. He didn’t turn around or let on, but when he crouched and let himself into the tent, he whispered to Levi, 

“Somebody’s out there. Watching.”

Levi frowned. Eren sat down next to him. It was close quarters--they could barely even sit without touching, and Levi had to crawl past him to get out.

“I’m going to go take a piss,” he muttered.

He came back five minutes later. Eren had changed his clothes, and was sitting on top of his bedroll.

“Still there. Too far away to see who it was.”

“You don’t want to go after them?”

“They’ll just get away with the 3DM,” Levi said disgustedly. “And we don’t want to tip our hand. We don’t think they’ve realized that we know.”

He sat next to Eren on his own bedroll. He seemed angry--frustrated. 

“They--you don’t think they’ll leave?”

“No,” Levi said resignedly, and kissed him.

Eren had been waiting for it, and he didn’t quite lunge at Levi, but he leaned in and kissed him back. It was more than he’d done before--pushier than he’d been before--and Levi let him. He put his arms around Levi’s solid waist, half-expecting Levi to push him away, feeling relieved and giddy when he didn’t.

Levi’s mouth was warm on his, he tasted sweet, and Eren felt the same two thoughts flashing on and off in his head: one was that he couldn’t believe this was happening. The other was that he wanted it to keep happening for as long as possible. 

At some point though his brain must have turned off; maybe Levi’s had too, because they were lying down and he didn’t remember how that had happened. Levi was touching his throat, just gentle fingertips there, but it felt wonderful and terrifying. All Levi’s deadly strength reduced to the barest brush of fingers on his soft throat. Later he would wonder why--whoever might have been watching them couldn’t see through the tent. Wouldn’t know. But just then he couldn’t think, and he wanted to cry, or maybe scream. 

Instead he grabbed one of Levi’s hands and put it on his dick, and Levi wrapped his fingers around him and squeezed. And that was _amazing,_ the best thing he’d ever felt in his life. Levi’s fingers were calloused and tough, and it was like he knew exactly where to touch to make him crazy.

They still had all their clothes on. They were still kissing. Eren pressed into Levi, tracing his mouth, his lips, his teeth with his tongue. Levi squeezed his cock in his hand, moving just slow enough to be torture and Eren moaned into him, daring to thrust into Levi’s grip. 

He had forgotten everything else. All about the Corp, Titans, his family, _everything._ All that mattered was Levi’s body pressed to his, the rough sweetness of the kisses bruising his mouth, Levi’s hands touching him dark and intimate.

He didn’t think he could get any harder than he was, but close to orgasm he _did,_ so hard it hurt, that sweet pressure from Levi’s grip almost enough to relieve the ache he felt. Levi pinned him down then, ground into him, giving him his body to thrust against as well as his hand.

“Oh,” Eren said, “oh,” and he let go and it was heaven. Levi kept kissing him, almost savage. After a little while he reached his hands down--reached to touch Levi, to return the pleasure he’d been given. As soon as his hands were close to Levi’s groin Levi swatted them away. Then he let Eren go, abruptly.

“Good night,” Levi said, turning away and tucking himself into his bedroll. 

Eren gaped into the darkness for a while. He didn't even know how to start thinking about what had happened. Eventually he crawled into his own bedroll, feeling dazed. He had a hard time sleeping.


	8. Chapter 8

There were some boxes scattered across the enclosure and Levi sat on one.

“You're not supposed to be here alone.”

“I’m not,” Hanji replied. “The guards are right outside.”

Levi looked at the two Titans Hanji had captured. They were bound so tightly that it was impossible for them to move, but they stared at him with hungry vacant eyes.

“Disgusting,” he said.

“Yes. But so useful for collecting data!”

Hanji finally turned away from her notes to look at her friend. Levi had known her longer than anyone in the Corp, except for Erwin. In spite of the enormous differences between them a kind of affinity had sprung up over the years. She was the only person he could talk to.

“Levi, what's wrong?” she asked, curious but only casually concerned.

He put a hand behind him on the box and leaned back. “Something happened,” he said.

“With Eren?” she guessed, with that surprising intuition she sometimes had.

“I gave him a handjob in my tent last night,” Levi said morosely.

Hanji’s eyebrows shot up, and she dropped down to sit on the box next to Levi.

“What happened?”

“We got...carried away.”

“Was it different?”

“What do you mean, ‘different’?”

“From a regular one.”

“Hanji, I didn't come here to speculate on how Eren’s Titan abilities might be affecting his junk!” Levi said, his annoyance breaking him out of the careful monotone he’d been speaking in.

“You didn't?” Hanji repeated, disappointed. “Oh. No, of course not,” she added unconvincingly. “Um, why then?”

“I don't know. To confess maybe.”

Hanji made encouraging noises.

“I shouldn't have,” he muttered.

“But you wanted to. Must have for a while. I have a hard time seeing you getting carried away with anything.”

“It doesn't matter what I want!”

“No?” When Levi glared at her she shrugged. “Just asking! I can report you if you like.”

Levi snorted. “To Erwin. For molesting my fiance. Perfect.”

“It does seem a little erratic,” she agreed sympathetically. “Getting back to the other thing, why doesn't it matter what you want?”

He glared at her. “He’s a child!”

“I thought he was Mikasa’s age?” When Levi’s scowl only deepened she asked casually, “Did he touch you back?”

“He tried.”

“You wouldn't let him? Well, that is like you Levi, you always do care more about others than you do about yourself!”

“You're infuriating,” Levi said, but his heart obviously wasn't in it.

One of the Titans began straining towards them suddenly, pulling against its bonds.

“Gordie!” Hanji called to it in a scolding, affectionate tone, “Be careful! You’ll hurt yourself!”

Turning back to Levi she said, “What did Eren say about it?”

“Nothing.”

“Because you wouldn't let him?”

“What is there to say? It happened. It was a mistake. It won't happen again. It would never have happened if it weren't for Erwin’s stupid orders.”

Levi was looking away and missed the amused tolerance that flashed across her face, which was just as well. “But if you both wanted it,” she prodded gently, “why was it a mistake?”

“I'm his superior.”

“Mm,” said Hanji, obviously not buying it.

“He had a crush on me before he ever met me,” Levi said irritably. “He doesn't know who I am at all. He’d do whatever I asked him to. That isn't right Hanji! I'm not going to take advantage of some stupid innocent kid who doesn't know any better. And fuck him up for whatever might be left of his life.”

Hanji nodded. “So it was just a fluke then. A one time thing.”

He didn't answer, just glared at the Titans.

“Maybe you should talk to Eren about it.”

“No.”

“If he is as innocent as you think, he might get the wrong idea about things,” Hanji said. This was so obviously true that Levi didn't even try to dispute it, just sat mute and angry.

“If it happens again though,” she said after a short pause, “do you think you could take some notes? You know, for science.”

“I'll say I warned you about coming out here alone,” Levi remarked. “You thought the Titan was trying to tell you something so you untied it, and then it ate you. What a tragedy.”

She sighed, “I was only asking Levi, don't get upset about it!”

 

 

 

He’d decided that ignoring it was definitely the best option. 

He rigidly behaved as though everything was normal between them, and pretended not to notice Eren moping and mooning around. He was always watching Levi now, as though he were trying to puzzle things out. He was extremely unhappy, and it would have taken a much denser man than Levi not to notice that.

_He’ll get over it,_ Levi told himself. He’d started pawning Eren off on the other squad leaders for more 3DM training and hand-to-hand combat. It wasn’t that his own duties elsewhere were so important, but he didn’t feel equal to the task anymore. He told himself he was doing the right thing by leaving Eren alone.

He was glad Mikasa was still away with her squad and not there to observe their present difficulties.

 

 

 

The Dawn Patrol was a time honored tradition when the Corp was in residence. The officers and squad leaders took turns running it. Most mornings one of them would lead anyone who was interested through a class--it began just before sunrise, and ended before breakfast.

It was always up to the whim of that day’s instructor what the exercises would be. Sometimes it was flips and aerials, sometimes grappling, sometimes partner fighting. Sometimes just stretches and meditation. Sometimes they used equipment, sometimes they didn’t. It was informal and strictly voluntary, but understood that the newest recruits were discouraged from coming until an officer had invited them along. And it was also understood that promotions came more quickly to those that made a habit of going. 

But at its heart it was strictly voluntary. Erwin hardly ever went, Levi almost always did, Hanji went occasionally. 

With all the Squads back in residence turnout was bound to be higher than usual. Petra and Mikasa had returned with their Squads the night before, and various other missing members of the Corp had been trickling in all week. Levi arrived unnecessarily early, but he liked being the first one there. On the days he was absent ‘his’ spot--in the back left corner of the field--was left ceremonially empty.

Petra was teaching this morning’s class. She was sitting at the front of the little practice field near the edge of the lake. She was going through her own set of exercises, loosening up in the chilly pre-dawn air. 

Levi watched her for a moment before going through his own stretches. Mikasa arrived soon after, and took the place beside him.

“She’s pissed at you,” she observed.

“Hm,” Levi said.

“She’s probably going to try to poison Eren.”

“I’m sure you’ll look out for him,” Levi said drily, and Mikasa gave him a little cat-like smile. 

More people were arriving; Jean took the spot next to Mikasa with a little jealous look around him that Levi observed with amusement, and Mikasa with annoyance; Reiner took the spot beside him. The rows in front of them filled up, and then Petra stood up and nodded. Abruptly, everyone’s quiet murmured conversations stopped and they stood up to face her.

She bowed to them, and they bowed in return. For a moment (and it was that moment, more than any other, that Levi always came for; that moment of stillness and togetherness, with the first hint of pink in the sky and all of them breathing out on the same breath) it was so quiet you could hear the soft lap of the lakewater brushing the shore.

And beyond that, nearly inaudible: tick. tick. tick.

_“Everyone run for the castle, quick!”_ Levi yelled.

Every person there had spent years obeying that voice; not one of them questioned or hesitated. As one they turned and ran, and Levi was the only one who ran forward instead of back.

Petra was the furthest away, the most vulnerable. He took her hand and pulled her back with him, every step bringing them a step closer to safety. None of them were wearing gear that morning--they had only their own bodies to rely on, and Levi felt like that moment stretched on and on forever.

He could still feel the stillness. Petra’s gasp of breath. Her sweaty hand. The loose fall of her golden hair.

The sound--the explosion--is loud enough to unmake the world.

 

 

 

There was a knock at the door. Eren was still asleep, and he groggily stirred when it repeated, impatiently. Someone tried the knob but it was locked. 

“Unh,” he said. “Yeah, hang on.” He looked around. Levi was gone, his bed neatly made. Eren dragged himself upright and looked around the room. He hesitated, then shoved his sleeping mat under Levi’s bed, where it was hidden in shadow. Better safe than sorry.

“Yeah,” he said, and then belatedly, “Uh, who is it?” Because it was kind of weird, someone coming to Levi’s room when it was still dark out, wasn’t it? 

“Eren, you need to come quickly,” a voice he didn’t know said. “Levi’s been injured.”

“What?” Eren said, his heart leaping. He felt fully awake, all at once. He grabbed the knob and unlocked it. “Is he all right? What happened?”

 

 

 

The explosion had knocked them all off their feet. When Levi had felt the push of air he’d hauled Petra close and leaped up with inhuman speed, using their forward momentum to roll and dissipate the force. They’d landed far away, but practically uninjured. 

“Petra!” Levi yelled, getting to his feet at once. He couldn’t even hear his own voice, he was still deafened by the explosion. But he motioned with his hands and she nodded; they ran to check the others. 

Almost no one Levi could see was seriously injured. If his warning had come even seconds later he doubted that would have been the case. Petra was helping someone up. Mikasa was all right, so was Jean, and he began counting the others, recreating the field as it had looked just moments ago in his mind. 

“Levi,” Mikasa said, interrupting him. Her voice was muffled, but he could hear her. Good, that was good, if his hearing was coming back already he couldn’t be too badly hurt. “Everyone’s all right,” she said, and he nodded.

The sun was just barely up over the horizon, but the sound of the explosion had rocked the castle, and there were yells in the distance. Hanji was one of the first people to appear on the scene, only half-dressed but fully kitted out in her 3DM. She took in the scene at one glance and went straight for Levi.

“I’m all right,” he said as she grasped his shoulders. She was shaking her head, saying something. 

He leaned closer, and she said it again, in his ear: “Eren!”

He had been operating in crisis mode; still dazed from the explosion and the adrenalin pumping through his body. But that word snapped him into place and he stared at her, his momentary relief replaced with sudden panic. Because of course this bomb hadn’t been set randomly. It had been deliberately placed, to take out the elite members of the Survey Corp in one deadly strike.

Because everyone knew the early mornings were the only time Eren wasn’t with Levi or one of the other Squad Leaders.

Because in the confusion that would follow the sound of the explosion everyone would be rushing out of the castle to see what had happened and tend to the injured; in the normal course of things it would take hours to notice anyone was missing. 

They turned and ran for the castle, ignoring the yells after them, and the swarm of half-dressed Corp members heading for the field who called to them, asking what had happened. He and Hanji didn’t stop running until they reached Levi’s room. He swung the door open, but by then it was too late; Eren was already gone.


	9. Chapter 9

Armin was already awake when he heard the explosion. He liked to get up early most mornings, lingering over a pot of tea and his reading. Petra was a good Squad Leader and didn’t insist on them all being there for every meal and meeting, and Armin liked to keep his mornings free. He found it was his best time for thinking and reflection. He was happy to be back at HQ; there’d been precious little opportunity in Mitras to have a quiet morning to himself.

He was as startled as everyone else in the castle when he heard the noise, and he jumped up. His room faced the lake. It wasn’t visible through the trees but he was certain that was the direction the sound had come from. He kept his desk by the window to take advantage of the natural light, and he leaned forward. He couldn’t see anything yet--just the treeline and the path that led down to the water...

 _Wait…_ he thought. _That’s the field where they do their practice. The Dawn Patrol._ And then, his horror redoubled he thought, _Petra’s leading the class today._

He scrambled into his boots, his brain helpfully feeding him bits of information: Mikasa always attended Dawn Patrol, so did Levi, most of their elite soldiers did, today with everyone back from their missions it was likely to be even more packed than usual--

He couldn’t tell from the sound what it had been. A Titan transformation was similar in noise and volume to a bomb going off. But if there were soldiers out there without their gear there was very little chance of them outrunning an intelligent Titan--

He ran back to the desk to look out of the window again. There were already people running out of the castle towards the noise, and he recognized Hanji in the front. He hesitated, knowing he should go out to join them, but he felt something--a feeling that he was missing something. He’d learned over the years to trust his instincts, so although it was painful to stand there, not knowing what was happening he waited. A full minute went by. Then two. It felt like hours.

Then Levi and Hanji emerged from the trees, the only two people running back towards the castle.

“Oh my god,” Armin whispered. “Eren.”

 

 

Mikasa and her squad had joined them on the road back to HQ the day before, and Armin had feigned surprise when she’d told him that Eren was alive, and that he’d joined the Survey Corp--ostensibly as Levi’s ‘fiance.’

Actually, he had known even before she had. He had gotten Erwin’s first letter a few days after Eren had been discovered in the north. Then he really _had_ been shocked. Eren, alive? Eren, a Titan shifter? It had beggared belief. He hadn’t wanted to risk sending a letter with sensitive information--even if it was coded--while Erwin had been traveling, so he hadn’t been able to warn his commander that he and Mikasa had a relationship with Eren. 

Armin was in Erwin’s confidence but it wasn’t common knowledge--the senior officers were aware of it at some level, but not how far that trust went. Mikasa suspected there was more to Armin than simply being Petra’s second in command, but she didn’t pry. And even she would have been shocked by the full extent of it. After Hanji, Armin was second in line to ascend to command of the Survey Corp.

It was something they discussed occasionally--how to bring Armin into public leadership. Should anything suddenly happen to Erwin, he’d be leapfrogging quite a few senior officers to be Hanji’s second in command--which at best would cause some consternation among the other squad leaders. But for now Erwin preferred to have him placed as just one more anonymous (though more intelligent than usual, to be sure) Survey Corp officer.

It was also the main reason why he had been moved out of Hanji’s Squad to join Petra’s when she’d been promoted. Erwin had come to value Armin highly over the years, and having him in the same squad as Hanji had become too risky. If some terrible tragedy happened and Hanji’s entire squad was killed _(It would have been unthinkable a year ago--before the Female Titan had done just that to Levi’s Squad.)_ it would be an irreplaceable loss.

This morning he’d been thinking of how much he’d been looking forward to seeing Eren again--as well as wondering how he and Levi were getting along. He’d had no time to say so, but he didn’t approve of Erwin’s plan. It had seemed hasty and not-believable, but he also couldn’t think of two people less likely to get along. The Eren he’d remembered from his childhood had been hot-tempered and impulsive, as well as extremely resistant to authority. In spite of his years in the Corp he didn’t know Levi very well, although oddly enough he was close to everyone Levi was close to. Humanity’s Strongest was famously taciturn and close-mouthed, and outside of training and a rare meeting in Erwin’s office Armin had very little to do with him. But he knew that Levi had little patience for disobedience and defiance in the soldiers under his command.

 _Maybe Eren’s changed,_ Armin had thought, troubled and unable to believe it when he’d burned Erwin’s letter back in Mitras.

Now he’s worried about whether he’ll get to see Eren again at all.

In the hallway Ymir stopped him before he could make a beeline for Levi’s room (where he assumed, correctly, that Levi and Hanji were headed). She and Krista were his counterparts in Petra’s squad.

“Armin, have you seen Krista?” Ymir asked, sounding anxious.

His heart sank. “No. Was she at the Dawn Patrol? They were attacked, I don’t know what happened--”

“No, she wasn’t! I just went to her room, she’s _gone,_ Armin!”

“Ymir, I have to go--” he said, but his mind was telling him this was more Very Bad News, even as Ymir yelled after him. She was right to be upset with him: what could take precedence over a missing squadmate? His duty to the Corp--and maybe the future of all of humanity. Was that being overly dramatic? Unfortunately he didn’t think so.

He arrived at Levi’s room only moments after Levi and Hanji did.

“They can’t have gone very far,” Levi said grimly, and that hit Armin in some way--it seemed important so he filed it away. Levi turned around and saw him. 

“So you figured it out too.”

Armin breathed out quickly. “Bomb or Titan?”

Levi looked a little surprised, but said, “Bomb.”

“We need to go now, Levi!” Hanji said. “We can still catch up to them.”

“But we don’t know which way they’ll have gone.” 

“South, probably, but--”

“We’ll go south,” Levi said decisively. He turned to Armin. “Have Erwin send teams out everywhere else, then others to do sweeps out from the castle in case they’re holed up somewhere.”

“Wait--”

“Armin, we don’t have time for this!”

“Green flares if you find them or pick up their trail, black if you run into trouble, red if you don’t find anything by tonight. We’ll send teams out so the signals can be relayed back,” Armin said quickly.

Levi nodded sharply, then he and Hanji were racing off.

Armin took a deep breath, then turned and looked at the room. This was what he was good at, he had to remind himself. Even though right now the stakes were tremendously high, and if he got something wrong--he tried to ignore that thought.

He checked the door first. It was still intact--the lock worked. No sign of force. That meant Eren had opened the door and walked out on his own, or opened it for someone. He thought for a minute, then looked around the room. He spotted the mat Eren had shoved under Levi’s bed right away.

Maybe that was where it was usually kept during the day. But Armin was willing to bet serious money there was no way Levi would let him put it away so untidy. In spite of the early hour Levi’s own bed was neatly made. He reached out a hand--the sleeping mat still felt faintly warm.

If Eren had put the mat away without making it up neatly then he could assume several things. One was that someone had come to the door and knocked. Eren wouldn’t want a stranger to see obvious evidence that he was sleeping separately from Levi; he’d been warned about that kind of thing by Levi and Erwin. Another was that he’d left willingly but quickly--because there was no sign of a fight in the room (everything was neatly in place) but that he hadn’t taken the time to make the bed--but _had_ taken the time to hide it--suggested an urgent errand.

The easy assumption--the obvious assumption--was that after the explosion, someone had come along to get Eren, but--

The bed was slightly too cool. The explosion had happened only ten minutes earlier, give or take (hard to believe--it felt like hours--but the sky was only a little pinker than it had been, and Armin had checked his pocket watch.) The sleeping mat had only been faintly warm, suggesting that its occupant had left a little earlier than that. 

And you had to consider the motivation of whoever had kidnapped Eren. If they waited for the explosion to occur, Eren would want to go towards it, along with everyone else--and there was safety in numbers. As soon as they were among other soldiers it would have been impossible to kidnap Eren.

Armin couldn’t help but think the explosion had been a _diversion_ even more than it had been an attempt to deal a serious blow to the Corp. If everyone was drawn outside to investigate then whoever was still here could carry out their plan without interference.

And Krista was missing too…

Armin sighed, then turned to run down the stairs to Erwin’s office.

 

 

Mikasa and Petra were already there, along with most of the other squad leaders, all of them talking loudly; Armin slipped in quietly and closed the door.

“Eren’s missing!” he said, and the rest of them fell silent. He locked eyes with Erwin, then quickly relayed what Hanji and Levi had told him. Petra and Mikasa wanted to set out immediately, but Armin shook his head, trying to argue with both of them at once,

“Wait, yes, I know, but this is important: listen.” He grabbed two pieces of chalk from the ledge underneath Erwin’s chalkboard and handed them to them. 

“Recreate the field as it was right before the explosion went off, as best you can remember.”

“Everyone’s all right, we checked already--” Mikasa protested. 

“Please, Mikasa, this is important,” Armin said. Petra was already marking names out on the board. 

“Come on,” she gritted out to Mikasa. “The sooner we do this, the sooner we can get out of here.” After a moment she went over and joined Petra at the board; Armin turned to the other squad leaders.

“Please go and assemble everyone; we need to know exactly who is here and who might be missing.” He looked at Erwin for confirmation, and the commander nodded.

“You heard him; quickly. I want someone to report back here in ten minutes or less. And send someone to the stables, see if all the horses are accounted for.”

“There,” Petra said from the board. “That’s everyone.”

“You’re sure?”

“We did headcounts on the field just now--I remember everyone.”

Mikasa nodded in agreement.

“All right. Mikasa, go north, Petra, go east, Tomlat can go west, take--”

“Krista might be missing,” Armin said suddenly. “And I think Ymir should stay here.”

Erwin raised his eyebrows; Mikasa looked disconcerted; and Petra said in alarm, “What do you mean Krista’s--”

“Take members of Hanji’s squad then,” Erwin said. “One for each of you.” He grimaced slightly. “Assuming they’re all accounted for.”

“Sir!” Petra said, and they left the room.

“Well?” Erwin said when they were alone. 

“I’m curious to see who’s missing from the line up,” Armin replied.

“You’re assuming it’s one of our own then.”

Armin shrugged. “It’s what we’ve been assuming. It’s the only thing that makes sense to me.”

“You don’t think they went south, do you?”

Armin paused a moment, then said, “No. It’s the obvious thing. And they almost never do the obvious thing.”

“I agree.”

There was a knock at the door and then an officer poked his head in and said: “We’re searching the castle, but apart from yourselves and Captains Levi and Hanji, Eren Jaeger, Krista Lenz, and Bertolt Hoover all appear to be missing.”

Erwin waved a hand in acknowledgment and the officer nodded, ducking back out.

Armin was staring at the board. “Reiner was in the back row.”

“Furthest away from the blast if Levi hadn’t warned them all. So was Jean. And he transferred in after the Female Titan’s attack last year.”

“Reiner and Bertolt grew up in the same village,” Armin said quietly. “They were inseparable until they joined separate squads. Jean only joined because he was worried about Mikasa.”

Erwin was quiet for a moment. “You went through training camp with all of them.”

“Yes. Suppose one of them is the Colossal Titan and one of them is the Armored Titan.”

Erwin exhaled sharply. “That’s quite an assumption.”

“But it fits the facts. If Reiner thought he could survive the blast it would make sense for him to stay behind and allay some of our suspicions--make it seem as though some outside party had kidnapped all three of them, while at the same time continuing to spy on us.”

“They’ve been in the Corps for five years! Why act now?”

“Because they were waiting for Eren. And now they have him. I don’t think he can be a regular Titan shifter, Commander--assuming there is such a thing. It’s an enormous cover to commit to--and they took an enormous risk to do this.” 

“What were you saying about Ymir?” Erwin said suddenly.

“I think she knows more than she’ll say,” Armin said grimly. “Now that Krista’s missing she may finally talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are so great! I really appreciate them all. These plot development chapters are so hard to get through, aren't they? ;) For me too. We all just want to get back to the ROMANCE AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS don't we?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe manga spoilers, maybe violence, maybe minor character death.

They’d been riding for hours without finding any trace of Eren. Survey Corp horses were bred for endurance but they were not inexhaustible; Levi and Hanji knew down to the moment when they needed to stop.

There were choices before them; find the nearest town and try to change horses and go on--or go back. 

Hanji looked at him. “They may not have come this way,” she said.

Levi exhaled. “Nothing else makes sense.”

“This was our best guess--but I think it was wrong. Whoever took Eren would have had to incapacitate him, and wouldn’t have been able to move as fast as we have. We would have caught up to them by now.”

“Unless they’re hiding somewhere.”

“If they are, we won’t find them on our own; we’ll have to rely on the other teams doing sweeps.”

Levi didn’t answer. He pulled out a flare and shot it up: red. No sign of them. As they begin walking the horses back--there’s a town they passed through not far behind them that’s large enough to have military horses at the ready, they can switch there--he saw a faint answering red flare in the distance, passing the message along to HQ.

When they arrived back at the castle it was nearly nightfall. They went straight to Erwin’s office, and it wasn’t until Levi saw the tray of sandwiches sitting on the commander’s desk that he realized he hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before. 

Armin stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him. He was holding a steaming teapot; he nodded to them both. “I saw you coming. I thought you’d want this.” Without waiting for an answer he poured out cups for them both, and passed them napkins and sandwiches, then he leaned against the edge of the desk facing them.

“Any sign?” Hanji asked around a mouthful of food.

“No,” Armin said, shaking his head. “But I think I know where they are.”

 

 

 

By dinner all of the Squad Leaders had returned, and the recon teams had switched off, continuing the sweep of outlying areas. There was a depressed feeling hanging over the castle; rumors abounding about what’s happened and why. Erwin put everyone on light duty and allowed them to cluster around in hallways and common areas, taking comfort in each other and speculating wildly. By midnight everyone had been ordered to bed following another headcount, and the castle was quiet.

Reiner forced himself to wait for thirty minutes before quietly leaving his room. He had an excuse prepared in case anyone caught him, but fortunately the castle corridors were deserted. He sighed in relief.

The recon teams were still out searching, but from the rumors that had been spread he had a pretty good idea of where they were--and it wouldn’t be difficult to avoid them on a dark and moonless night. Very late the night before he’d stolen two horses from the stables, killed them, and buried their bodies far from HQ, to make it look as though Eren and Krista’s abductors had ridden away when they were discovered missing. It had taken hours, and he’d had to run back to base, barely making it in time to participate in the Dawn Patrol. But he’d done it. Fucking Levi had spoiled that, of course; it would have been so much easier to get away if everyone had been properly distracted by a score of dead senior officers. But even so they’d done well, adapting their plan as best they could.

He’d tried to keep his answers simple when Erwin had interrogated him; that was something they hadn’t planned for. He’d been far enough away from the bomb to be incapacitated by it without being seriously injured. Of course, when Levi had said to run he’d had to run with everyone else and he hadn’t been hurt after all. But he’d made a good show of confusion and distress for the commander, said he didn’t know why anyone would have taken Bert. And he was proud of the way he’d comported himself. And now they were going to get away...they’d be able to go home...it would be _over_...

He allowed himself to smirk; it was something, to be able to say he’d outsmarted the famously brilliant Erwin Smith. The Corp had been running around all day searching outside; but they’d only made the most cursory sweep of the _inside_ of the castle.

He went to the disused storeroom where Bertolt was hiding with Krista and Eren. They’d discovered the room and marked it off as a good hiding spot long ago. At some point the room had been larger--they’d noticed the different bricks used to block off the wall. They’d removed some of the bricks, and discovered that behind it was a damp, crumbly interior wall, and a space just large enough to squeeze into. Instead of repairing the damage to the wall at some point someone had bricked it over; someone else had come along and added shelves; so the little brick ‘door’ they used to get in and out of the space was invisible unless you were looking right at it. Reiner tapped the outer door three times, practically inaudible, and it eased open on silent hinges.

“All right?” he asked Bertolt.

“I don’t have much of the drug left,” Bert replied nervously. “It took a lot to keep him under.”

“Let’s go. You take Krista. I’ll carry him.”

The stables were mercifully clear; as quickly and quietly as they could they saddled up two horses. They didn’t leave by the main gate, which was under guard, but instead went around the lake, being careful to stay out of sight among the trees.

They were hypervigilant, both of them anxiously keeping an ear out for any sign of the searchers they knew were out there somewhere, but after about an hour they’d begun to relax slightly. Bertolt was in front, with Krista tied up and draped over the back of his horse, Reiner riding with Eren the same way behind him.

They both wore 3DM and they were both prepared to transform. They’d committed to this heart and soul; if one of them were killed, the other was fully prepared to continue to fight on to the very end. Fortunately it was looking as though they were going to get away without interference, and Bertolt was starting to feel as though he could breathe again. All that day he’d been terrified of what would happen if they suspected Reiner--or if their hiding spot were found. He was confident he could survive any attack the Survey Corp could throw at him, but survival was a far cry from success, and only success would be good enough for the people who were counting on them.

There was a tiny noise, the tiniest displacement of air: _whisht!_ He turned, to say, “Reiner, did you hear that--”

There was an arrow in his friend’s heart, and another in his neck, a third in his eye and Levi was inches away, blade already out, falling towards him like another deadly arrow. 

_No_ , he thought. _No._ Something grabbed him, hard enough to knock him backwards, and before he could struggle free or even bite his tongue Hanji was there, grinning at him like a devil; she shoved something stiff and broad into his mouth, pulling a strap back over his head to keep it in place and then dragging him back off the horse and onto the ground with a heavy thud. 

_A net,_ he thought, dazed, _they hit me with a net._ A weighted net that made it impossible for him to move; that was how Hanji had been able to grab him so easily. Beneath his shock he was strangely proud to have figured that out. More bodies were nearby, grabbing him and trussing him up as tightly as he’d tied Eren and Krista earlier, and he laughed in silent hysteria. 

They rolled him over and he saw Reiner. Not Reiner though--his head. Meters away from his body; looking shocked, the arrow sticking gruesomely out of one unseeing eye. Then, in spite of the guard immobilizing his mouth he screamed.

 

 

 

Even after they’d freed Eren and Krista and confirmed they were both all right; breathing heavy and slow, obviously drugged but _breathing_ \--after Reiner was dead (and Erwin sent someone to bring kindling for a pyre immediately--they weren’t taking any chances) and Bertolt immobile and bound on a wagon for the capital--Armin was still watching the scene with enormous tension--as though waiting for it to all go wrong.

It wasn’t until Erwin dropped a warm hand on his shoulder that he felt that tension ease; he turned and smiled at his commander. Erwin returned the smile before releasing him. They couldn’t talk here, but Armin saw all the important things in that smile: _You were right_ and _Thank you_ and _I was right to trust you._

Now they’ve captured two of the deadliest Titans they’ve ever faced, and they’ve killed another. That’s no small victory for humanity. There were still plenty of things to worry about--keeping Bertolt contained, and trying to get any useful information out of him, were big ones--but for the first time in a long time it felt as though they might have the upper hand. 

“We’re all leaving for Mitras,” Erwin said decisively. “Tomorrow. I don’t think we have any time to waste.”

 

 

 

Eren was groggy and out of it all the next day; Krista was a lot quicker to come to her senses and by noon she was riding a horse on her own while Eren was still passed out in one of the wagons.

She and Erwin had had a conversation that morning.

“We know about you. And we know about Ymir.”

She had glared at him, still feeling woozy from the drugs Bertolt had given her and furious with Erwin in spite of the fact of her rescue. 

“We know who you really are,” he continued. “Historia Reiss, true heir to the throne.”

“No,” she whispered, fear beginning to replace her anger. “No, that’s not me.”

“We’re going to put you back on the throne,” Erwin said. “The people in power now don’t want us to defeat the Titans. They want things to stay the way they are. But more Titans will come--Titans controlled by humans. Like Reiner, and Bertolt. And Annie. And Ymir.”

Krista had closed her eyes.

“You’ll do it,” Erwin had told her. “If not for yourself, then for humanity. And if not for humanity, then for Ymir.”

She had barely been able to speak to Ymir at all that morning; the other girl was riding at the end of the column with Hanji’s Squad. She and Petra and Armin were together, and it felt strange to be riding with them without Ymir by her side. Painful. Petra had given her a pained, puzzled glance when she’d joined them--and that had hurt as well. 

Petra was kind. Just as Krista had once been kind. Strong, like Krista, and frequently underestimated by others, who judged her on her appearance rather than her abilities. Just like Krista. She’d been a mentor and a friend almost from the moment Krista had joined the Corp, and seeing that look of puzzled betrayal hurt her a great deal.

But she hadn’t been able to tell anybody the truth--not even Ymir. Ymir had found out anyway, but not because Krista had told her. 

“Why was Eren taken?” she asked Armin as they rode. “Is he a Titan shifter too?”

He glanced over at her, his expression oddly gentle. “I don’t know,” he said, and both of them knew he was lying.

Krista smiled humorlessly and shook her head. “I know we all have secrets. But it’s a little unfair that only some of us are allowed to keep them, don’t you think? While others are punished for having them.”

“I guess it depends on whether those secrets are being used to help humanity...or to help destroy it.”

Krista didn’t answer, but there were two high angry spots of color on her cheeks.

 

 

 

For the next three days either Levi or Mikasa was always with Eren. Levi slept (when he did sleep) in his gear, one hand on his blades. Eren was still uncomfortable with him; they didn’t talk much. When he could he preferred being with Mikasa and Armin. Levi didn’t blame him.

“How’s he doing?” Hanji asked him. They were still a day’s ride out from Mitras and he and Hanji were sitting together, Hanji transcribing her shorthand and Levi mending a harness.

He grunted, which could have meant anything.

“He still seems troubled about what happened,” Hanji remarked. Levi didn’t reply, so she continued, “Maybe you should talk to him.”

“He has his friends to talk to,” Levi said.

“Are _you_ still upset about it?” Hanji asked him. He gave her a look: it was the one that turned fresh recruits to stone. She smiled at him, unfazed. He knew she wasn’t talking about the kidnapping.

After a long pause she changed the subject, saying, “Everyone knows about Eren’s shifting now. My Squad swear up and down it wasn’t them, but somehow the word’s gotten out.”

Levi grunted. “Maybe somebody saw. Bertolt or Reiner must have. Maybe they weren’t the only ones.”

“They’re hysterical about it,” she mused. “Reiner and Bertolt being the Colossal and Armored Titan; Eren being a Titan; and they don’t even know about Ymir...yet,” she murmured. “They’re all paranoid--they feel like _anyone_ could be a Titan in disguise now. But you know,” she added brightly, “I think we should experiment today! I think that would really calm everyone down!”

Levi raised an eyebrow at her. “How do you figure that.”

“Well, they’ll see he’s harmless! They’ll see he’s on our side! And they already know anyway, so…”

He leaned back. “Hanji, I don’t believe you,” he said. “You told them!”

“Me?” she said, all innocence. “Don’t be absurd!”

“You did,” he said, shaking his head. “So you could experiment on him publically. Unbelievable.”

“The search for knowledge is important, Levi,” she said reproachfully. “And Erwin already said I could, since there’s no one around out here and we won’t have an opportunity again until we leave Mitras.”

“Unbelievable,” he repeated.

 

 

 

Eren was distressed when they told him; he shot Levi a very clear, _Do I have to?_ sort of look.

“The word’s spread about your abilities,” Levi said, glancing sidewise at Hanji. He spoke more gently than he’d intended. “If the other soldiers have a chance to see what you can do it will end their speculation. They won’t be as afraid of you.”

Eren nodded unhappily. They walked to a wide open part of the field they’d used to stop for lunch, and everyone but the soldiers guarding Bertolt went over to watch. Eren looked into that sea of expectant, wary faces and took a deep breath. He was more nervous than he’d ever been in his life.

He’d gotten better at transforming quickly under Hanji’s tutelage. She had helped him understand his own mind better, and although in the beginning his behavior had sometimes been erratic he hadn’t lost control again since that first week.

He found Armin and Mikasa watching them--they both looked at him full of encouragement, and that made him feel better. It was amazing, but in the last few days they’d been able to pick up their friendship right where they’d left off, without any constraint. There were moments he could almost believe no time at all had passed since he’d last seen them.

“Okay, Eren, let’s go!” Hanji yelled eagerly.

Eren swallowed, looking away from his friends and back at the rest of the crowd. Levi was standing by himself, a little apart from everyone else. He gave Eren a tiny nod when he saw him looking at him. Not strange or uneasy for once: just coolly confident. Eren swallowed and returned the nod: right. He could do this.

He took a breath and then bit his knuckle, hard enough to draw blood--and the world transformed.


	11. Chapter 11

They woke up that night to screams from outside; Levi leaped up and grabbed Eren with one hand, dragging him after him out of the tent. He practically ran over Armin who quickly looked over at Eren and then sighed in relief.

“Thank god you’re both okay,” he said breathlessly.

 _“Now_ what the fuck’s going on?”

“We think Ymir transformed and helped Bertolt escape,” Armin said and Levi glared at him.

“He was under heavy guard. For fuck’s sake!”

“I know. There were four guards and she took them out--Erwin’s already sent Scouts out after them, but--”

 _But what could they do?_ The unspoken words hung in the air as the three of them hurried to the administrative tent Erwin had set up. They had been extraordinarily lucky to capture Bertolt and kill Reiner without casualties, and they had only been able to do so because they’d timed their ambush so precisely. Facing the Colossal Titan and Ymir on open ground would be hopeless.

“Krista,” Armin said, sounding surprised when they were inside the tent. Erwin relaxed when he saw Eren and Levi.

“Yes,” Erwin said, his eyes turning back to the young woman. 

“They didn’t take you,” Armin said. He sounded dumbfounded. Krista stared straight ahead, her jaw trembling.

“She wouldn’t leave me,” Krista said. “She wouldn’t.”

“She and Bertolt are gone,” Erwin told her gently. “Did she tell you what she was planning? Do you know where they went?”

Mutely she shook her head, tears falling down her cheeks. “She’d never leave me,” she repeated.

“She did it to protect you,” Armin said dully. He collapsed into one of the camp chairs, rubbing his head. “Ymir knows more than she told us. She knows the other side, and she doesn’t think we can defeat them. That’s why she helped Bertolt to escape--I’m sure she made Bertolt promise Krista’s safety before she agreed to help him.”

“Why leave Eren and Krista behind then? Their goal all along was to abduct them,” Levi said.

“Because escaping on their own was risky enough--they’d have had even less chance of success if they’d tried it.”

“Which means they’ll undoubtedly try again--with more firepower to back them up,” Erwin said with grim certainty. “We need to act now while we still have the advantage.”

“What do you want to do about them? Should we try to go after them?”

“I sent Petra out with Mikasa’s Squad,” Erwin said. “For now, you’ll stay here.”

Eren looked back and forth between his Captain and his Commander--he felt a ripple of something pass between them that he felt without fully understanding. 

_He trained both Petra and Mikasa,_ Eren thought, _And he’s worried about them. He doesn’t like the idea of them going up against Ymir and Bertolt without him._

“The most likely thing is that they’ll outrun them and head straight for the Wall,” Erwin said quietly. “They’ll try to avoid a fight if at all possible since they’re at a disadvantage, but this far in the land is densely populated. If it comes down to it the casualties could be enormous.”

“Which is probably why Ymir waited so long before freeing Bertolt,” Armin said. “She knows we won’t want to fight them here and risk so many lives.”

“Then why send Mikasa and Petra after them at all if you don’t really want to win?” Eren demanded. 

Erwin frowned at him. It was the first time he’d spoken, but he’d followed what everyone else had said as closely as he could. And he hadn’t missed that Armin seemed to be on much closer terms with Erwin than he’d previously thought. 

He felt confused and upset and a little betrayed--he’d started thinking about what Mikasa had said to him that first day they’d been reunited. What _was_ Erwin planning? What _did_ he have in store for him? He’d woken up in the wagon on the first day of their journey to Mitras, still feeling slow and out of sorts, to see Armin smiling down at him and riding by his side. Since then he’d been spilling his guts to his old friend--had Armin just been reporting his secrets back to Erwin all this time?

Levi dropped a hand on his shoulder and he almost jumped at the touch, but caught himself in time. “You can trust the Commander,” he said quietly.

Armin didn’t miss any of this brief exchange; he knew he’d have to explain himself to Eren later and he was sorry to make his friend doubt him for even a moment. But he also didn’t miss the subtext beneath Levi’s reassurance, even if Erwin had.

The one that said, _You have a right to question him_ and _You’re not wrong to do it._

“Two reasons,” Erwin said, with the ghost of a smile. “The first is that Mikasa and Petra are highly trained soldiers. If they see an opening, they’ll take advantage of it without unduly risking their own lives or those of the soldiers under their command. The second is that we have other reasons for getting to Mitras quickly, and we aren’t going to risk our main objective.”

Eren nodded, looking slightly embarrassed.

To Levi, Erwin said, “Get everyone ready to move on. There’s no sense waiting for dawn now.”

 

 

 

Armin joined Eren in the middle of the column. He could tell by the stiff way Eren was riding that he’d noticed the formation had changed, and he and Krista were riding at the heavily fortified middle. He came in close enough that they were side by side before speaking.

“I wasn’t trying to mislead you,” he said without preamble. 

Eren looked at him sharply. “So what are you really then?”

“I just advise Erwin, that’s all.” 

“Then why aren’t you a Squad Leader too? And why doesn’t anybody seem to know about it?”

“We knew there was at least one spy in the Corp,” Armin said. With an awkward smile, he added, “Obviously the extent of it was...surprising to us.”

“He didn’t want anyone to know how important you were,” Eren said bluntly. 

“Yeah,” Armin said looking uncomfortable. “That’s part of it. It wasn’t like I suddenly started advising him, you know. But he noticed that I observed things that other people missed, and over time…” Armin shrugged.

“You were always the smartest person I’d ever known,” Eren said, and Armin smiled faintly.

“The Scouts aren’t like I imagined,” he continued after a short pause.

“Yeah,” Armin said. “I think everybody feels that way. I want to tell you you can trust me, Eren. I don’t expect you to believe me, but I promise I won’t lie to you.”

 _Unless Erwin tells you to,_ Eren thought, a little maliciously. “It’s okay, Armin. I understand. I’m not mad at you.

“I guess Krista’s not really a shifter then, if she didn’t go with them.” Eren had asked Armin before, why she’d been kidnapped too if she didn’t have the ability to change. He hadn’t been able to tell him. It was something the Commander still didn’t want to become widely known.

“Did you ask her?”

“No, but--”

“You could. I don’t know what she’d tell you, but…” Armin smiled, a little mischievously. It was obvious he thought the Commander’s prohibitions were too strict--that Eren, at least, should be allowed to know what was going on.

“Well…maybe I’ll talk to her,” Eren said, and Armin nodded and rode off.

 

 

 

That night, settled into their room at the Corp’s headquarters in Mitras Eren sat on his sleeping mat while Levi got ready for bed. Levi was always extraordinarily casual about being naked or changing clothes in front of Eren. He treated it matter-of-factly and although Eren still tried to avert his eyes it didn’t make him as nervous as it had in the beginning.

He wanted to ask Levi about what Krista--or _Historia_ \--had told him. He hesitated because he didn’t know if Levi would be angry that he’d found out the truth. But then he realized he didn’t think he would be--and that furthermore...he trusted Levi.

He wasn’t sure how that had happened. They’d never talked about what had happened between them that night--Levi seemed to have just ignored it and continued on as though nothing had happened. Eren hadn’t been able to imitate his nonchalance. He still didn’t know--had he coerced Levi into something he hadn’t wanted? It was a sickening thought, but it didn’t seem very likely. Levi was much stronger than him, and older--if he’d wanted to stop he _could_ have, right? But that left another possibility--

That Levi had just kept going because he’d felt sorry for him. Which was pathetic, but the more time that passed the more likely it had seemed.

 _Well, why not? You’re just a freak--and the only reason_ anyone _is interested in you is because of your Titan abilities. And now that the whole Scouting Legion knows you’ll_ never _be one of them. They’ll never really accept you. ___

__He plucked at the fabric of his blanket. “Krista told me her real name is Historia Reiss. And that she’s the heir to the throne. Is it true?”_ _

__“Yes,” Levi said. “That was what your friend Armin came here to confirm. We only just found out the truth before all this happened.”_ _

__“Is that why Erwin wants her? He’s planning to replace the king and put her on the throne? Is that why we’re _here?”_ _ _

__Levi shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe he just likes the way the shit smells in the sewers here. Don’t talk about it to anybody else.”_ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__“I mean it,” Levi said, giving him a darkly savage look. “Not to your friends either. Someone could overhear you.”_ _

__“You think there are still more spies?”_ _

__“I think Erwin’s right to be cautious. Go to sleep.”_ _

__Eren got under his blankets. “Goodnight, Captain.”_ _

__“Goodnight.”_ _

__

__

__He woke up and listened in exasperation; what _now_? He was tired from the lack of sleep he’d gotten on the road, uncomfortable from sleeping in his gear too, although he’d done it again tonight. Silently he rolled over. He could just make out the curve of Eren’s back in the dark room. _ _

__It _was_ Eren. He'd wrapped his arms around his head to muffle the noise of his crying, and at once Levi felt monstrously guilty. He’d felt responsible when Eren had been taken. No one had blamed him, but Eren had been placed in _his_ charge, under _his_ protection. He was Levi’s responsibility._ _

__And he knew that he hadn’t behaved toward Eren the way he should have. He'd been frustrated by Erwin's idiotic demands and prohibitions and he'd taken that out on Eren. He’d been short with Eren when he ought to have been patient, fierce when he should have at least tried to be kind. Levi slid out of his bed and crouched down by the sleeping mat, putting a hand on Eren's shoulder. Eren tensed up for a moment, then relaxed all at once as if forcing himself to._ _

__“I’m sorry for waking you,” he said roughly._ _

__“Don’t be an idiot.” The words were harsh but Levi’s tone was mild. “You’re all right,” Levi said, sounding unconvincing even to himself. He sighed inwardly and tried again: “You’re okay. You’re safe now. I want to tell you that I won’t let anything else happen to you, but we don’t live in a world where that’s possible. But I’ll do my best to protect you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to before.”__

Eren’s breathing had slowed and evened out during the Captain’s brief speech, and he was looking at him now in wide-eyed surprise. He couldn't see Levi very well in the darkness, but he could tell the Captain was being sincere. The last thing he’d expected when Levi had gotten out of bed had been comfort or an apology. 

__“It’s not your fault,” he said, feeling stunned. “I’m--” and he realized he’d never said it, “I’m glad you’re okay. Mikasa told me what happened. You saved everybody’s lives. I was worried you’d been hurt.” He instinctively reached for Levi’s arm, grasping him loosely above the elbow._ _

__Levi didn’t know what to say to that. He swallowed. “Yeah. Well, I’m glad you’re all right. We were worried about you.”_ _

__It had never occurred to Eren that Levi might have been worried about him. Afterward, Mikasa and Armin had told him everything that had happened. He’d felt foolish for being tricked so easily, and for being unable to fight back once he’d been captured. He’d imagined Levi going after him being angry and annoyed--but _worried?_ Something shifted inside of him just the littlest bit, the aperture of his mind opening enough to let in a little more light. Just enough to make him doubt what he’d all but convinced himself of._ _

__Levi let him go and got up, turned away to get back into bed. Eren heard him shift his body in the darkness, the rustle of blankets, the tiny creak of his leather harness being adjusted. He held his breath. All at once he felt terrified, but he _had_ to ask. He needed to know, and if he waited any longer he wouldn't have the courage._ _

__“Captain,” he said, his voice sounding too loud to his own ears. “That night when you kissed me. Why did you stop me.”_ _

__“That was a _mistake,”_ Levi said, abrupt and cold._ _

__That stung, and Eren felt like an idiot for asking, but his answer made him angry too. “It didn’t feel like it,” he said bitterly, forgetting his caution._ _

__“It was,” Levi repeated, and Eren felt the crushing weight of a new thought hit him: What if it was me? What if I wasn’t good enough?_ _

__That made more sense than anything else had. He’d been wrestling with the thought for weeks--if Levi hadn’t wanted to, why had it seemed like he did? But if it was because of him...if it was his fault…_ _

__“I wish it had never happened,” Eren muttered, hurt and wanting to lash out at him.__

__“So do I,” Levi said in heartfelt agreement._ _

__He knew it was the answer he deserved, but that didn't make it easier to bear. Eren turned away, sick with anger and pain, and tried to sleep._ _


	12. Chapter 12

Mikasa came to talk to Levi a few days after their arrival in Mitras. He’d been expecting the ‘What did you do to him?’ conversation for a while, but when she arrived she wasn’t there to level accusations.

“He’s depressed,” she said. “Armin and I are worried about him. It isn’t fair that everyone else gets to have free time except for him.”

“You want to get him drunk and take him to a whorehouse?” Levi asked skeptically. She’d come to see him in his office, a small plain room adjacent to Erwin’s, and he leaned back in his chair. She was standing, unconsciously poised as if ready for a fight.

He and Eren had been doing their best to ignore each other since the night of that disastrous conversation. It hadn’t taken him very long to realize how far from appropriate his behavior had been, but he hadn’t wanted to pursue the matter and make things even worse. 

She glared at him. “That wasn’t what Armin and I had in mind!”

“He’s in danger, Mikasa, you know that. Keeping him here is for his own safety.”

“He could go out with my team,” she persisted stubbornly. “And it would only be for a few hours.”

Levi tapped a finger on his desk. “All right,” he said finally. “If Petra goes, or Hanji.”

Mikasa made a face. “A room full of minders is the last thing he needs! You might as well just keep him chained up somewhere.”

“Two elite members, plus your squad. Otherwise I won’t allow it.”

“I’ll take Hanji then,” she said grudgingly.

“You should be nicer to Petra. The last few weeks haven’t been easy for her.”

“For any of us!”

“No, but your Squad is still intact,” Levi said pointedly, and she had enough grace to look embarrassed. 

“Thank you for agreeing to let him come out with us,” she said more formally, and he nodded a dismissal.

Everyone had been pestering him about Eren lately. Hanji and Erwin and Petra had all made private visits to discuss Eren with him; not to mention the other squad leaders, who were unsure whether to be terrified of him or elated that they finally had a Titan shifter on their side. 

He had been doing his best to keep everyone _satisfied_ which wasn’t easy, but individually he didn’t blame any of them. The squad leaders were perfectly right to be nervous, especially when it had been discovered how many Titan shifters had been hiding among them and everyone was anxious that there could be _more_. Erwin had a right to discuss things with him, so did Hanji, and perhaps Petra most of all (she had been his protege, after all.) Watching two squads break up in quick succession was difficult, and in some ways she blamed herself for each failure. When the subject of their discussion had wandered over to Eren--and Mikasa was right about Petra’s jealousy, even if she was unkind about it--he had gently steered it back on track.

There was no little irony in the fact that he’d been soothing everyone else’s doubts and anxieties about Eren when he had plenty of his own. He would have happily taken responsibility for the whole mess if he’d known how. He knew his muddling attempts the other night had only made things worse, which made him loathe to try again. 

Let Mikasa sort it out, he told himself. He was at the point where he didn’t even care if Eren chose to confide in her. If she chose to attack him after that--verbally or physically--he guessed he’d deserve it.

 

 

 

But Eren had no plans to confide in Mikasa or anyone else. He might have talked to Armin about it, but he couldn’t get past the idea that Armin might be spying on _him_ for Erwin. 

Since he had transformed and demonstrated his abilities for the Corp he’d felt even more freakish than he had before. Nothing had turned out how he’d imagined. Not Levi or Erwin--not the Corp--not even the Titans. Krista--or Historia, as she was calling herself now--was maybe the only other person who understood. She felt singled out too. Like him, she’d been keeping a secret and now that it was out in the open she felt isolated and oppressed. 

Talking to her was about the only thing that made him feel better these days. Not talking about Levi, obviously--but about everything else. If they were alone she’d tell him more about her childhood--the strange things that had happened to her while she’d grown up. 

“I’m starting to remember more,” she told him one day when they had laundry duty together. “It’s strange. I’d almost forgotten I ever was another person until all this happened.”

“I know what you mean,” he told her uncomfortably. He’d remembered things too, and dutifully reported them to Erwin though not without some doubt. Things that made him think his father was really dead, which until now he’d never allowed himself to believe. That the key around his neck was more than just a keepsake.

When they were finished they went up the stairs together towards the mess hall, where lunch would be waiting.

“Do you trust Erwin?” she asked him, carefully casual.

“I did,” he said slowly. “Now…” There wasn’t any particular thing. But in his heart he couldn’t get past the wrongness of Armin acting towards him with a motivation besides friendship. Even if that hadn’t been the case--even if Armin was keeping his friendship with Eren separate from his duty to Erwin--he couldn’t help but feel a little misled. Even betrayed.

He’d trusted Erwin too, trusted his overtures of friendship, his reassurances. And he still wanted to believe in him. It was obvious that Erwin was a just and capable commander and that he cared about humanity. 

But unlike everyone else here Eren _hadn’t_ grown up in the military. He wasn’t used to blindly obeying or trusting anyone. He didn’t trust his new comrades the way they trusted each other. Whether he wore the uniform or not he felt like an outsider. The fact that he’d found his childhood friends again only served to highlight that--they weren’t the people he remembered. They’d changed and grown--they had new duties and loyalties and motivations. When Erwin had told him he wanted Eren to join the Survey Corp, he’d imagined a pure mission bringing purpose to his life. Instead, everything had just gotten complicated.

In spite of all that things fell into a routine. He still drilled with the other soldiers, and gradually they warmed up to him, especially when Mikasa was around to make sure he was included. He got to know people’s names. He got to hear the legends and mythology of the Corp. There was nothing as pleasant to a veteran as a fresh audience, and although Levi never talked about missions he’d been on other people were happy to. He got to hear all about daring escapes and kills and rescues, and it was strange to have Levi--a man he’d put on a pedestal since childhood--turn from a hero, to a human, back to a hero again.

There were times he couldn’t believe it had all happened. Levi had barely touched him or spoken to him in weeks, though he was always nearby if his duties didn’t keep him elsewhere. Keeping tabs on him, Eren supposed. It was almost possible to believe he’d imagined those touches and kisses, though he knew he hadn’t, mainly because his imagination wasn’t that good.

The bottom line was that he just didn’t understand Levi. He was starting to think no one did--even the people he was closest to. Everyone seemed to have a different idea of him, and none of them squared with what he knew about the man. Levi was a locked box.

 

 

 

Things happened slowly, until they happened all at once. One day Levi had been trying to avoid Eren as usual; the next he was hunting Eren's kidnappers through the city and fighting for his life against his old mentor. Kenny had appeared from the shadows of his life, like something out of a nightmare. Happy to try to kill him--making Levi wonder why he'd bothered to rescue him all those years ago.

Surviving the encounter made him one of the lucky ones, and he was darkly furious with the number of his own people that Kenny and his squad had killed. There was nothing they could do now but search for Eren and Historia, though if the opportunity for vengeance cropped up along the way he was determined to take it. Nothing made him angrier than the pointless loss of life, especially if it was _humans_ that were responsible, instead of Titans.

But it wasn't long before his anger turned into fear--and despair. There was no sign of Eren and Historia, and though Erwin said they weren't giving up it was obvious when he called off the search what he believed had happened to them. No one argued or protested, but that night Petra bleakly turned up in his room. Her Squad was reduced to two now--only herself and Armin. He didn't even know how to start comforting her, beyond his own blind grief, but he made tea while she pried the cork out of a whiskey bottle. Armin and Mikasa arrived only a few minutes later, and for once Levi felt that the two women were united in their unhappiness. And their refusal to accept the situation.

"Do you think they're dead?" Mikasa asked him bluntly after the tea had been poured. Petra was fortifying it with the whiskey.

"No," he said, as much because his heart wouldn't accept it as for any other reason.

"Then what should we do?"

They were all three looking at him hopefully--expectant. As if he had the answers.

He had never defied Erwin--not since that first time, anyway. And he didn't intend to start now. To comfort them he said, "We won't give up." And that was a bland, innocuous statement that was meant to reassure without promising anything. But later on he'd wonder if that hadn't been the start of it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild spoilers through the manga.

His heart beat quickly as he walked to Erwin’s office. It had been over a month since Historia and Eren had been taken, and weeks since the trail had run cold and Erwin had called off the search. 

Everything else had been falling into place for Erwin lately. He had swayed the other branches of the military to his side and their coup had been a success; even now the nobility of the realm were being imprisoned and dispossessed. The weapons Hanji had developed with the technology they had begun stealing from the military police years earlier had been tested in the field, and Hanji had just returned triumphant from testing them outside Wall Rose.

Having Eren and Historia would have been the glorious capstone to their victory, but as Erwin had pointed out at least the other side didn't have them. If they had they would have been used against them by now.

Levi thought, depressingly, that meant Erwin thought they were probably dead and preferred not to waste resources looking for them.

But now--now he had proof that they were alive. And he knew where they were. Steeling himself outside Erwin’s door he still couldn’t believe the strangeness of the visit he had just received.

“Enter,” Erwin called at his knock.

“Levi,” he said. “I’m glad it’s you. I was just going to send for you.” Erwin stood up and came around to the front of his desk to stand before his friend. He was smiling.

“Hanji’s success was the last thing we needed. We’re going to Shinganshina.”

“Shinganshina?” Levi repeated, momentarily distracted from his mission. Shinganshina was where the Titans had first attacked and breached the wall some eight or nine years earlier. “But we can’t repair the Wall. Why--”

“We may not need to,” Erwin said.

“What?” For a moment Levi looked at his old friend as though he’d gone mad. “What are you talking about?”

Erwin held up a key from a chain around his neck.

“That’s Eren’s,” Levi said. He’d seen it around Eren’s neck a hundred times. He never seemed to take it off.

“It’s the key to the basement at Eren’s house in Shinganshina. Before he was taken Eren remembered his father giving it to him. And it was his father who gave Eren his Titan powers.”

“He gave it to you?”

“Yes. And Armin and Mikasa know where Eren’s house is. With the new weapons we can take back Shinganshina, at least long enough to find out what’s in the basement, if not permanently,” Erwin said.

“I know where Eren and Historia are,” Levi said. “Word reached me from a contact of mine in the Underground. They’re being held there.”

Erwin blinked at him in surprise. For a moment he seemed almost speechless. Then he said, “That’s fine. We’ll deal with it when we return.”

“What?”

“We can’t afford to lose resources now. This is too important,” Erwin said seriously.

Levi stared in disbelief at the man he’d known--thought he’d known--for the last decade.

“But they’re still in danger,” Levi said. “They’re not safe. They’re still being held.”

“Levi,” Erwin said. “Based on everything we’ve learned, I think whatever is in that basement holds the key to _everything._ You understand? Not just the key to Titan shifting, but potentially the answers to _everything._

“All the secrets of the world could be there. That’s more valuable than two lives--any two lives.”

Levi was cold with anger, but he kept his voice level as he answered. “We can do both. We can rescue them, then set out for Shinganshina. The delay won’t be long.”

Erwin shook his head. “No. I’m sorry, Levi, but if there’s even a chance our enemies know about it then it’s a chance we can’t take. They don’t want us to learn the secrets of this world, of defeating them.” He paused, then added, “Levi, we could turn all the Titans back into humans. We could rid the world of Titans forever.”

“Did Eren tell you that?”

“No.”

“Then how do you know? How do you know _anything_ is there?”

“Because Eren’s father told him how important it was. And he was the one that imparted the power to Eren.”

“So all this is because of him,” Levi said, with a trace of bitterness, “and yet you won’t rescue him.”

“When we return,” Erwin said, gently. “We can’t waste the time or resources until then. Levi, I’m sorry.”

Levi left without answering.

Standing outside of Erwin’s office he realized that he knew what he was about to do. He didn’t need to weigh or consider his options because his mind was already made up. It was curiously freeing.

“Well?” Kenny said, when he was back in his room a few minutes later.

Levi gave the man--the man who he had only found out a few minutes earlier was really his uncle--a hard stare. 

“Your information isn’t valuable,” he said.

“Whaddaya mean? I’m telling you the truth. What the hell could I be playing at, showing up here in this viper’s nest where everyone wants to kill me, eh?”

“I believe you,” Levi said, sitting down. He wasn’t the strategist that Erwin was, but he didn’t believe Kenny had any reason to lie. He’d come this far into hostile territory to deliver his message to Levi, and Levi believed his reasons. Kenny was like the Joker jumping out of a pack of cards at odd intervals--first to save Levi’s life, then to kill him, and now again to aid in Eren and Historia’s rescue. Levi thought he could trust him for the moment--even though, the next time he saw him there would be no telling.

“Erwin doesn’t choose to rescue them immediately.”

“Oh?” Kenny said, raising an eyebrow.

“If they’re there, and they’re alive as you say, I’ll make sure Historia gives you a full pardon for your crimes.”

Kenny looked at him searchingly, then shrugged. “All right,” he said.

“Would you come with me?”

Kenny snorted. “Forget it, kid. I ain’t a hero. I’ll take the pardon, though.”

He made for the window, which he’d entered by only an hour ago or so.

“One thing, Kenny.”

The older man turned to look back at him.

“The pardon’s only good for your past crimes. If I find out that you hurt anyone else--any more of my people--I’ll kill you myself.”

Kenny grinned at him, that old wolfish grin, so well-remembered. “Good luck, nevvy,” he said, and with that swung out the window. Levi thought he might have even meant it.

He took off his clothes, changing out of his uniform and into a simple black shirt and pants. He packed what he needed, which wasn’t much, and then went to find Hanji.

Everyone was at lunch now. It was a good time to leave; with luck he wouldn’t be missed until dinner--perhaps not even until tomorrow morning.

And by then it would be too late for Erwin to try to send anyone after him.

Hanji was alone in her laboratory--she tended to work every moment that she was awake, lately, and would eat the food her subordinates brought her without noticing or tasting it.

“Hanji,” he said.

She looked up at him--took in his appearance and she stood up. She lost her vague and distant expression immediately and stared hard.

“Levi, what are you doing?”

“I know where they are, Hanji. I’m going after them. Erwin doesn’t want to rescue them. He says this mission is too important.”

“Levi…” she said slowly. “Let me talk to him.”

“There’s no more time to waste. I already know he won’t change his mind.”

She stared at him for a long moment, not speaking. Then she said, resignedly, “What do you want me to do?”

“If he should ask, don’t tell him I told you anything. But when they discover I’ve gone, Mikasa will try to follow me--maybe even Petra and Armin too. If it’s just me Erwin can save face and say I’ve been sent alone to rescue them--I know the Underground, it’s even believable.

“But if they all leave it will be a disaster. I don’t know what he’d do. He seems hell bent on this mission. Did _you_ know about his plans? Did you approve them?”

Hanji looked, perhaps, a trifle uneasy. 

“I think he’s lost sight of what’s important in his mania for uncovering the truth,” Levi said bluntly. “I’m not going to leave Historia and Eren to die. Keep Mikasa and the others here. Say whatever you need to.”

“All right,” she said. She gave Levi a long, troubled look. “Take care. I hope you find them well...and quickly.”

 

He went to the stable and got his horse and left without the least difficulty. Riding away towards Mitras he found it all hard to believe. But he’d made his choice, and he was at peace with it. He had thought in Erwin he had found a leader he could follow as well as a friend. But now--ten years after Erwin had found him--he was on his own again.

The thought that the Survey Corp might only be a chapter of his life--a chapter that had just concluded with his desertion--was impossible to accept. He filed it away, refusing to think about it for the moment. Let the consequences come later; right now he still had to rescue Eren and Historia.

It took several days to travel the distance to Mitras, and once there he didn’t go straight to the Underground but to Pixis, who was in residence. He had confiscated a nobleman’s home for his own official use, and Levi looked around, impressed with the surroundings in spite of the urgency of his mission. He got Pixis to agree to his requests, and then he allowed himself a few hours rest before setting out again.

Of Erwin nothing had been heard, but then he’d traveled here faster than a messenger would have.

He hadn't been back to the Underground in many years. He had no particular desire to return to the place he'd passed his childhood and young adulthood, but neither did he fear it.

He was still dressed plainly, not wearing his uniform, but he kept his maneuver gear on. He wore a jacket over it, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention, but loose enough that he’d still be able to move easily. He followed a familiar path through the city. Going down was the easy part--it was on the way back up that the gangs tried to extort you for money. They wouldn't bother with him though. He didn't know if he'd be recognized but even if he was it wouldn't matter.

When he reached the staircase he stood there for a long moment, staring down into the darkness. Then he began the long descent.


	14. Chapter 14

For nostalgia’s sake he’d gone down the staircase near his old place. No doubt some other enterprising young thug had moved in long ago, after he and Furlan and Isabel had left to join the Survey Corp. He lingered for a moment, staring at the familiar stairs that led up to his old doorway, and the past washed over him. Furlan and Isabel felt close here, the pain a sharp place under his breastbone. 

When they’d been kids he’d had a few weird fumbling half-drunken escapades with Furlan. Funny how he’d all but forgotten that. Furlan would have liked more--Levi had seen him looking, half-wistful. But he’d been smart enough not to try anything sober. What he’d felt for Furlan had been affection, not attraction. Not desire. He’d only responded out of a sense of misplaced guilt, and when Isabel had turned up he’d been relieved to have such an effective (if oblivious) chaperone.

After Furlan and Isabel had died he’d had a brief relationship with another Scout. Posey had been funny and mischievous and she’d loved to laugh. He’d still been young then.

Three months later she’d been killed on an expedition.

After that he’d shut off that part of himself. Occasionally he might have a brief liaison with a Garrison soldier (never a prostitute), but even that grew less frequent as the years passed. His work kept him busy, and Hanji and Erwin and his own Squad had fulfilled his desire for companionship. He hadn’t missed sex enough to pursue it. It hadn’t seemed worth the effort. 

“Turned up again, didja? Like a bad penny, eh, eh, eh?”

He turned.

“Hello, old man,” he said. “I didn’t think you’d still be alive.”

Old Anthony snickered and looked him over. “I heard you went straight. Military, now, aintcha?”

“You know who I am,” Levi said. “You were never stupid.”

The old man grinned at him, showing a gummy smile. “What are you doing back here, then? Eh?”

“Looking for someone. Maybe you could help me.”

“Oh! I’d do that, would I?”

Levi ignored this. “There’s a strange man, like an alchemist. He’d need access to things--metals, glass, rare gases. He’s down here somewhere. I need to find him.”

“Mebbe I do know of such a person,” Old Anthony said, his eyes glinting sharp and avaricious. “What’d I go ’n tell you for?”

“In honor of our old and venerable friendship,” Levi said, dropping some money into his hand.

The old man weighed it, smiling at the heft. 

“The west tunnels,” he said. “Deep in there. That’s where that friend a yours is.”

“Thanks,” Levi said.

He knew where the old man meant. The underground city had been abandoned before it had been finished. Only the most wretched creatures lived in the rough tunnels, which were filthy and prone to collapse. He stopped at the stalls closest to the tunnels, the ones selling food and water, to ask more about his ‘friend’.

“He’s a ghoul,” one man told him, shaking his head. “You want to stay away. I’ve heard screams.”

“He must have money, to buy the things he’s after.”

“Seems comfortable enough.”

“And no one’s tried to rob him?”

The man shrugged. “I told you, he’s a ghoul. Even the tunnel people stay away. All he’d need to do is pay off one of the gangs, anyway, and they’d protect him.”

Levi considered this before going on his way. He bought a torch from another vendor, and as he walked to the tunnel entrance he was accosted by a young boy. He’d noticed the child watching him for some time

“Hey!” the boy yelled. “Mister, you going in there? I’ll be your guide.”

Levi paused to look him over. He was small and grubby, and like most urchins he had the keen, cold-eyed stare of someone much older.

“You live in there?”

“Yus,” the boy said.

“And you offer your services for sale, do you?”

“Dunno bout that, but I can take you where you wanna go.”

Levi preferred not to think about the sort of people that might have business in the tunnels, and said instead, “I’m looking for a strange man. He’ll have a kind of laboratory--a place that’s got smoke, and strange smells coming from it where he does his experiments.”

The boy nodded. “Him, yeah. But mister, why you wanna go there?”

“That’s my business. I’ll pay you to take me to him, but you need to run off as soon as I say.”

The boy gave him a hard look. “The West Side gang’s his protection.”

“No doubt. But that will be my business too.”

The boy shook his head dubiously. “Your funeral, mate. Payment first.”

“Half,” Levi replied, and the boy shrugged, acquiescing. 

The boy led him into the tunnels--he seemed not to need the light of Levi’s torch at all and was frequently trotting just outside its circle. The place smelled horrible--rottenness, human waste, and unwashed bodies all mixing in the damp odor of soil and stone. Levi could hear moans and talking, laughter and children crying in the tunnels and rooms that branched off everywhere.

They walked for a long time. It had occurred to Levi that the boy might be leading him to an ambush from waiting accomplices--he was familiar with such schemes from his own youth--but he didn’t worry about that. If that was his intention he was sure he could fight off whoever the boy’s friends were. 

Another issue had come up though, and this one did concern him. Over the years as tunnels had collapsed they’d been dug out and reinforced by the residents, with whatever garbage and scraps they’d been able to get their hands on. The place was a maze. He thought he could probably manage to find his way out again--he was doing his best to commit everything to memory--but he knew once he had Historia and Eren he’d want to get them out quickly.

And he had no idea what condition they’d be in when he found them. If he found them.

He didn’t know exactly how much time had passed, but it felt like an hour or so. The tunnels were even narrower and more suspect here, and a few times they’d had to climb through places that were no more than dirty holes. Levi was glad he wasn’t a larger man.

The air had changed. It was metallic smelling--unpleasant and hot.

“Boy. Are we close?”

He nodded. 

“How far?”

“Nearly there,” the boy said. They went around a corner, reaching a dead end. The boy looked slightly anxious in the torch light.

“It’s there.”

“There’s nothing there,” Levi said, looking at the wall.

“He bricks it up behind him,” the boy said, “When he goes in and out. The bricks are loose. Pick one up and you’ll see.”

Levi approached the wall carefully and found the boy was telling the truth. He could see that most of the bricks weren’t mortared in at all, but just resting on top of each other. He removed one carefully, and could immediately see that whatever room was behind the wall was lit. He replaced the brick quickly, before anyone might see him peering in.

“Boy,” he said quietly. “Do you want to make some more money?”

 

 

“Historia.”

She was still for so long that he wondered if she’d heard him. Then she looked up, bleary tiredness turning to alert disbelief in an instant.

“Captain!” she said, wide eyed. Her face looked thinner than he remembered, and she was dressed in a filthy white dress, but she looked otherwise unharmed. Her wrists and ankles were bound, heavy metal chains as thick as his forearms binding her to the floor.

He grabbed a metal pick from the tool bench nearby and jammed it into one of the cuffs, moving it ungently until he had broken the lock and the cuff popped open. He repeated the action on the other cuffs, interrogating her as he worked.

“Where’s Eren? Who’s here, guarding you? How many men?”

“Eren’s all right,” she said, rubbing her wrists gratefully. “He’s in one of the other rooms--chained up in there. There’s just one man--Lumit, is his name.”

“Just one? That’s it?”

She laughed mirthlessly. “Just him.”

He paused after breaking the last lock, and searched her face. “Should I kill him? Or is he worth capturing?”

“No! You must capture him.”

Levi raised an eyebrow, and she breathed out, struggling for composure. “His knowledge is important. He knows how to make the serums that can control Titan transformations. He...was employed by my father.”

“Was.”

Historia lurched to her feet as Levi popped the last lock open. “He’s a zealot. He believes he’s doing the work of the gods, and that my father was trying to subvert his work for petty reasons...he--oh, it’s too complicated to tell it all now. He killed my father, in the end, and brought us here.”

“Is he here now, or has he gone out?”

“He’s here,” she said, and she picked up a wooden post from the floor and hefted it, then walked to the door leading to the next room. She nodded at Levi, then opened it silently. He followed her in.

The alchemist was sitting at a desk, hunched over little jars of powder and liquids. From what Levi could see he was a young man, though his hair was shot through with gray. Historia stood silently behind him, and in one smooth movement struck him on the back of the head. He was still for a moment, then he slid to the floor.

“Eren’s through there,” she said. “I'll tie him up.”

Levi moved to where she had pointed--a crude door, set into another brick wall. The room beyond was dark, and it took his eyes a minute to adjust. Eren was slumped over, gagged, his arms and legs chained. Even in the dim light filtering in from the workshop he could see how thin the boy was.

He untied the gag first, but Eren seemed unaware of him.

“Eren,” he said softly, running a hand through his dirty hair. He broke the chains and picked Eren up, draping him across one shoulder.

“Historia,” he said. “Leave him. Let's get out of here.” 

“Levi?” Eren murmured. He squirmed to get free, and Levi gently set him down.

He leaned on the wall for support and looked down at Lumit, lying unconscious on the floor.

“Can you walk, Eren?”

“Yes,” Eren said. He looked around. “Where's--is Mikasa here?”

“No,” Levi said. “It's just me.”

Eren looked at him, dazed, and seemed not to understand.

“I can help Eren, if you carry Lumit,” Historia said urgently. “We shouldn't leave him here. He’s had visitors and if one of them comes, they’ll free him and he’ll escape.”

Levi nodded. He dragged the man up, and the four of them moved out. Eren walked slowly, like a man in a dream, and Historia urged him on, keeping one arm linked through his.

The boy was still waiting nearby, holding the torch, and he looked at Levi anxiously before turning and walking rapidly back the way they had come.

Levi didn't tell him to slow down. He kept a close eye on the other two as they walked, making sure they didn't fall behind. Eren stumbled through the narrow twisting passageways, propped up by Historia.

They were making good progress, but Levi didn't doubt that there was a reason for the boy’s hurrying. He had always had a good sense for danger, and he'd grown up down here in the underground. He knew there was trouble waiting for them nearby. Grimly, he pressed on ahead.

It was bright when they emerged from the tunnels--the dim ambient light felt as bright as blazing sunlight compared to the tunnel darkness. They all blinked rapidly against their sudden blindness, and Levi dropped the unconscious man to the ground. 

He’d been expecting an ambush here, and he wasn't disappointed. The locals had all cleared out.

He could hear the two men approach better than he could see them, and he dropped them easily. They grunted as they fell, and he shrugged the jacket back so the blades at his hip were visible.

He kept himself between the gang and the others. A quick glance back and he saw Eren and Historia standing straight up. Of the two of them he thought Historia would be more use--though he hoped it wouldn't come to that.

“Let them go,” a voice said, “and we'll let you live.”

“Leave now and I'll let you live,” Levi replied. He was busily sizing up the situation--he thought there were about thirty of them, and he was relieved. They didn’t know who he was. If they had, they’d have come with more men.

Or not come at all.

The man who’d spoken laughed. “Get him,” he said, and ten men swarmed them at once. 

His body was a blur. He kept the blades sheathed--no sense pulling them out and killing these men, who were only obeying orders.

He didn't need them, anyway. He moved faster than anything these hapless fools had ever seen. He dispatched all ten without breaking a sweat, his arms and legs moving faster than anyone could follow, until the area around him was clear and their bodies were heaped on the ground.

Later, Eren would recall it as his only clear memory from that time. He had already forgotten the journey through the tunnels--currently he had very little awareness of anything beyond the pain in his body and the fog in his mind. But he saw Levi moving, despatching their attackers with preternatural grace.

He was ferociously proud then, and he thought, _He came for me._ In the beginning he had been angry when they hadn’t been rescued right away; that anger had long since turned to despair and resignation. In spite of Historia's desperate appeals he had given up hope that they’d ever be found.

Levi locked eyes with the gang leader.

“You can send the rest now if you like,” he said tranquilly. “Or save trouble and let us be on our way.”

Another man had drawn a gun, and he yelped in pain as one of Levi's blades flew through the air handle-first, knocking it from his hand. The leader narrowed his eyes at Levi and drew back fractionally, an unconscious gesture.

“I know who you are,” he said. “You've been gone a long time.”

Levi made no answer.

To his men, the young thug shrugged with obvious annoyance. “Let them pass.”

“Our soldiers will be here soon,” Levi said. “For the equipment. Don't touch any of it.”

The young man tightened his jaw and didn't respond.

Levi strode past them, the others following in his wake. Historia saw one of them make a gesture towards them--as if he would attack--and the leader gave him an abortive shake of the head. He was staring at the incapacitated bodies Levi had left on the ground, his mouth drawn tight. None of them had gotten up yet. 

Once they were clear of the gang Levi stopped, to give the boy his payment. He pocketed the coins, then stared up at Levi. “Where you goin now?”

“Up.”

The boy chewed his lip a moment, then said, “Can I come?”

“What will you do up there? The police will send you back, without a job or a home.”

The boy tilted his head up defiantly and said, “That’s my business.”

Levi cracked a smile.

“I can survive,” he said. “But they won’t let me up there.”

“You have enough to pay them now,” Levi pointed out.

The boy spat on the ground. “Pay them! I won’t. They’s robbers. If _I_ was in charge, I’d let everybody pass! I _earns_ my money, they just rob people! And I bet _you_ don’t pay them.”

“All right,” Levi said. He began walking, and the boy cheered up, trotting happily beside him like a stray dog that had finally found a master.

Historia watched them thoughtfully. She was still holding on to Eren, and she supposed they must make an odd group. Levi was carrying Lumit, and she and Eren were both dirty, ragged, and half-dressed.

She had noticed their guide was not the only little orphaned beggar child down here. 

Levi led them back the way he’d come. After months of so many setbacks and false starts he could hardly believe he was so close to getting Historia and Eren back to (relative) safety. He remembered, suddenly, a book he’d read once. It had pre-dated the Walls and the Titans, one of those rare objects that had somehow survived the last century’s purges and repression.

It had been about a great lyre-player who traveled to the underworld to rescue his lover from death. No one had ever done so before, but so great was his skill with music that even the lord and lady of that place been charmed by him. They had relented, and freed the soul of his lover.

He had been warned not to look back at her, as they walked the pathway back to life, and he had nearly made it before he had succumbed to temptation.

Levi felt his skin prickle, and he did not look back.

They had reached the stairs.

“Boy,” he said to distract himself. “What’s your name?” He dropped the still-unconscious Lumit on the ground.

“They call me Grub,” the boy said.

“You can’t be Grub,” Levi said patiently. “That’s not a name. You’ll have to think of something else.”

Above him a few dangerous looking men had noticed their group. Looking interested they detached themselves from their fellows and walked down the steps toward them.

Levi stood in front of the others. The boy was eagerly watching, obviously hoping for another good fight.

Before anything could happen a craggy old voice began to laugh. Old Anthony stumped over to them, standing a little to the right of Levi and looking up at the men.

“Better luck next time, boys,” he called to them cheerfully. _“He’s_ never paid to use the stairs.”

“He can stay down there then,” one of the dangerous men replied, smirking.

Old Anthony laughed again. 

“You stupid bastard,” he said. “That’s _Levi_. You know who that is, don’t you? Or are you so fucking stupid you _deserve_ to have your bloody throat cut right out?”

One of the men frowned and they began to confer, looking at Levi who remained impassive at the bottom of the staircase.

“You pay,” the man said. “We don’t know who you are--”

Before he could finish speaking Levi had used the maneuver gear to fly up to the landing; he kicked the two men off and they fell to the ground below with muffled screams. He glanced down at them, incurious. They were alive, but one had landed at an awkward angle.

He looked up, inquiringly, at the other thugs who were now all standing on the next level up. He could hear Old Anthony laughing below him.

The oldest man was staring at him, hard. He was old enough to have known Levi--at least known of him--from before, though Levi didn’t recognize him. Without speaking he motioned for the rest of his men to stand back against the wall. Levi sheathed his blade--he’d drawn it, after knocking the first two down, and took his time walking up to them.

He saw several of them frown when they saw how short he was, and he saw their boss motion for them to be silent. 

“That man, there. Leave him. Soldiers will be along shortly to collect him, along with some equipment. Don’t interfere.”

One of the men spat at him, and Levi grabbed him by the tongue and yanked him down to his knees. The man cried out, a harsh animal cry, and he scrabbled desperately at Levi’s arm, trying to get him to release him.

From below, the boy called up, “He just beat up the West Side gang all by hisself! You oughter listen!”

“He’s a demon,” one of the men muttered, flattening himself back against the wall. 

The older man nodded curtly, and when Levi released the howling man he cuffed him roughly on the back of the head. “Shut up,” he said. 

Levi waited until they were aboveground, safe in the sunshine, before turning to look back.


	15. Chapter 15

Some of Pixis’ men were waiting nearby, and he sent them down with the boy to collect Lumit as well as his equipment.

“You’ll let me come back?” the boy asked. He was staring hungrily at the outside world--the first time he’d ever seen it.

Levi glanced at the Captain. “Yes, of course. You’ll make sure to bring him back, won’t you?” 

The Captain smiled at the boy. “What’s your name, son?”

“G--” the boy happened to catch Levi’s eye, and he quickly corrected himself. “Roger,” he said, defiantly.

“Roger, we’re very grateful for your assistance. You can count on us.”

The boy nodded, and he went off with them, giving Levi one last anxious look before disappearing down the stairs with the soldiers.

That accomplished Levi sighed, and turned his attention to his other two charges. He knew things were far from over; this was only the pause for breath before the next strike and parry. 

Eren was still out of it, looking around uncomprehendingly while Historia clung to him.

“Can you ride, Historia?”

She nodded, and he pulled off his jacket and gave it to her. The soldiers had left behind men to guard the horses, and he motioned to them that they should bring two over.

Historia let go of Eren to tear her skirt up the side, so that she could ride unencumbered, and she mounted up without difficulty. Levi got on the other horse, dragging Eren up behind him. 

“Where are we going?” Historia asked, as they trotted away. She rode by his side, close enough that they could speak.

“Pixis,” Levi said. “He’s taken over one of the nobles’ houses for his own use.”

Historia processed this. “Then the coup--?”

He nodded. “A success.”

She considered this, looking at him carefully.

“Why are you alone? Why were Pixis’ men there, instead of our people?”

“This mission...isn’t officially sanctioned.”

She stared at him in disbelief. “They weren’t looking for us?”

“The trail grew cold...after the first few weeks we couldn’t find any trace of you. I got word that you were alive, and I told Erwin. But he has other plans, and they ran contrary to rescuing you immediately.”

HIstoria looked at Eren. He had fallen asleep, his head on Levi’s shoulder. “Was the ‘engagement’ not a sham after all?”

Levi grimaced. “Erwin made him my responsibility,” he said flatly. “I would have done the same for any one of you, in the circumstances.”

“Well, I’m grateful to you. Whatever the reason.”

“Tell me about Lumit. Who is he? What were you saying about these ‘serums’?”

She sighed. “I don’t know much. Just what I’ve gleaned and overheard. He’s as mad as a box of fish, but he’s brilliant too. I don’t know how, but he can create serums that control Titan powers. He gave at least one of them to Eren.”

“Oh?” Levi said, surprised.

“Yes. You didn’t notice? The walls--that cavern we were in. Lumit made him create the walls there after we arrived.”

Levi thought back--he had been occupied with other things at the time, but now he thought of it those walls _had_ been different. Apart from the brick wall he’d seen the other walls had been different. Not brick or packed earth--something harder.

“Then--” he said slowly.

“Yes. Eren can harden now. He could plug the Wall.”

 

 

 

Back at Pixis’ mansion Levi made them eat before doing anything else. Servants brought spicy chickpea and lentil stew, hot soft flatbread, vegetables, skewered meat, rice, and fruit. 

It had been hard to rouse Eren, but once the food was in front of him he ate as though he hadn’t had a meal in weeks, and Historia seemed just as ravenous. 

“When’s the last time you ate?” he asked them.

Historia used a piece of bread to scrape up the last of her stew; then she refilled her bowl with more.

“I don’t know. This morning? Yesterday? He wasn’t starving us out of malice. Most of the time he forgot to eat himself. But he didn’t want us at full strength either--he thought we’d be easier to manage if we were weak. He wanted us for experiments--that much I know. He was working on something.”

“What?”

Historia shrugged. “I don’t know. A cure, maybe?”

“For--the Titans?”

She shrugged again. “Maybe. Or maybe he wanted to turn us _all_ into Titans. I told you, he’s mad. For him it might be the same thing.”

Eren was starting to look better, and after his second plate of food he asked Levi where they were.

“Pixis has taken over this house. We’re in Mitras.”

“The Capital?” Eren asked. “Where is everyone else?”

“We’ll catch up with them in a few days,” Levi said, carefully not-answering the question.

But Eren seemed satisfied for the moment, even if Historia gave him a knowing look.

“Pixis is going to want to talk to you,” Levi said when they’d finished eating. “And we don’t have much time. Do you feel up to it, Historia?”

“Yes--I--I think so. When are we going to...meet up with the others?”

“We’ll see how you’re both doing tomorrow,” Levi said. In spite of everything that had happened that day it was still only noon, which seemed extraordinary. 

He stood up, and Historia followed him to the next room. “You’ll sleep in here tonight,” he said. “We’ll be next door if you need anything.” There was a clean uniform lying on the bed, and he nodded towards it. “I had that sent up for you. Take your time getting cleaned up. I’ll have one of Pixis’ men wait outside, to take you to him when you’re ready.”

She nodded, a range of emotions crossing her face: weariness, anxiety, relief, and something else. 

He hesitated. “I’m sorry we don’t have more time.”

She started, then smiled at him. “I’m glad you came for us,” she said. “I hadn’t quite given up hope, but Eren had. Lumit had me bring him his food--but the rest of the time he was by himself. I could only talk to him a few minutes a day. It was harder for him than it was for me. I’m--I’m glad you didn’t take longer.”

“I came as soon as I found out where you were,” he said, and she nodded.

“I know. I--Eren’s been pretty out of it, the last few days. I’m not sure he’ll be much use talking to Pixis. I can manage by myself. You should--stay with him.”

She turned away, picking up a towel from a clean stack of them and walking towards the bathroom.

 

 

Eren wanted to go back to sleep--he wanted to sleep for about a week, and Levi didn’t blame him, but he was insistent that Eren get cleaned up first. 

They had what would have been an argument--except that Levi pre-empted it by dragging him into the bathroom. 

This bedroom was the largest and most extravagant in the house. It was for visiting guests of high rank--people like the recently-deceased king, Levi supposed. Pixis had given it to him with the smallest twinkle.

The bathroom was a work of art--there was no tub, but instead a small sunken pool in the middle of the room (it was full of hot water--there was some kind of heating element. And it must have taken hours to fill it. Levi wondered if Pixis had given the order that morning.) and gorgeous tile mosaics covered every surface.

Eren was so stunned by the magnificence of the room that he was momentarily silenced. Levi took the opportunity to begin undressing.

“Take off your clothes,” he said, dropping his shirt on a wooden bench. 

Eren scowled. 

“Or I will,” Levi threatened.

Reluctantly, Eren turned away and stripped off the clean borrowed shirt, and the filthy pants. He dropped into the water immediately, shielding his body from Levi’s view. Levi entered more decorously.

It was the first bath he’d had since he’d left HQ days ago, and he was happy to be able to wash off the dirt from the road and the Underground, as if he could wash away the last few unpleasant weeks along with them. Eren was splashing around half-heartedly, and Levi was too much of a maniac for cleanliness to be able to ignore this. It was like seeing an amateur trying to build a wall when you were a professional mason--it set his teeth on edge. He grabbed the soap from the edge of the bath, and pushed Eren’s head under the water.

He came up, sputtering and indignant, and Levi scrubbed his hair vigorously, the way you would a resistant child or dog.

“I can do it myself!” Eren shouted.

“It didn’t look like it,” Levi said tartly. Finishing Eren’s hair he pushed him under the water again, and Eren came up again angry and perfectly incapable of stopping him.

“Spread your arms.”

Eren gritted his teeth, then obeyed. Levi ran his soapy hands all over Eren’s smooth skin--at least, over his hands and arms and chest, and then he got to Eren’s back and the brusque strokes softened ever so slightly. He ran his nails lightly over Eren’s back, and that was it--all at once Eren relaxed and leaned back into the touch.

Levi slowed down--more rubbing Eren’s back, then washing it. He kept going for a while, mindful of what Historia had said. The water was still so warm, anyway, it would be a shame to waste it.

He was in two minds then. Part of him realized, finally, what he wanted from Eren. The other part didn’t argue: just said _Not now. Not tonight._

He kept on rubbing anyway, for quite a while, and when Eren was half-asleep he got out, brought some towels over and helped Eren out of the water and into bed. He was asleep before Levi could even pull the blanket over him. 

Levi stayed until a servant came to tell him that Pixis wanted to see him; he sent a message back that Pixis could come and see him here, if he wanted to. He had no intention of letting Eren out of his sight; it seemed an invitation to kidnappers.

That evening he woke Eren up long enough to eat some dinner and then let him go back to sleep. He talked to Pixis and Historia and he made plans. After midnight he went to sleep in the bed next to Eren, one blade on his right side, the outside, and he mostly drowsed.

He was waiting for the next thing to happen. Not looking forward to it, but impatient just the same. He was too much of a soldier to feel anything else, and now that Eren and Historia were safe (for the moment) he could turn all his anxiety to worrying about the others.

Where were they now? Would Erwin have set out already? He didn’t think Erwin would have delayed, after Levi’s disappearance, and he was calculating in his head how far they would have traveled, and how far he would have to travel to catch up to them.

He wondered if he had rescued Eren and Historia only to have them killed at whatever battle was waiting for them in Shinganshina.

But if Eren could seal the hole in the Wall…

He didn’t sleep much.

He let Eren sleep til almost noon the next day, then he roused him and made him get dressed. Clean clothes had been brought up and he pushed them towards Eren before going to sit at the table. Historia knocked at the door a few minutes later, and came in to join them for a meal.

Eren, she was relieved to see, looked like himself again. The vacant look had left him completely, and he was alert if slightly puzzled.

“We’ll leave as soon as you’re finished,” Levi told them.

“Back to HQ?” Eren asked.

“Shinganshina,” Levi said. Eren stared at him. Historia had already heard this, the night before, but it was fresh news to Eren.

“Why?” Eren asked.

“Erwin is determined to find out what’s in the basement of your old house,” Levi said. “We’re going to catch up to them, hopefully before they reach the city, so we can seal the Wall. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” Eren said. “I--I think so. Lumit made me--I remember how. But why--why did you come alone to find us? Why aren’t they waiting for us?”

Levi tapped the side of his cup with one finger. There was no sense lying about it, particularly when Historia already knew the truth, so why was he hesitating?

“Erwin wanted to wait to rescue you,” he said at last. “I didn’t. So I came alone.”

“You disobeyed him?” Eren asked, in disbelief.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“You’re my responsibility,” Levi said blandly. “I came as soon as I had a lead on where you were.”

“You shouldn’t have,” Eren said harshly.

“Eren!” Historia said.

He ignored her. “You’re the strongest warrior humanity has,” Eren said. “You put the others in danger by abandoning the mission to come after us. You should never have disobeyed orders.”

“Eren he saved our lives!”

“That doesn’t matter if he endangered everyone else’s,” Eren said. “We would have been fine a few more days.”

“Really?” Historia said, glaring at him. “You were practically catatonic the last few days. I would have been fine. I’m not sure about you.”

“I don’t need to be rescued,” Eren spat. “By anybody. If Erwin didn’t think it was necessary then it’s obvious I’m not as important as everyone thinks!”

“You’re important to me,” Levi said quietly, interrupting his tirade. He reached across the table to gently take one of Eren’s clenched hands in his own, and he turned it over so that Eren’s palm was facing up.

Eren’s face reddened and he glanced in embarrassment at Historia.

“See?” she said. “He does care about you.”

Eren turned even redder. He pulled his hand away from Levi and walked away from them both to go stand by the door. “If we’re going, let’s go,” he said stonily.

Their bags had already been packed and were waiting for them with the horses, so there was nothing to bring with them. Levi shrugged at Historia and they followed Eren out. Down at the stables he was the first one to saddle up, and he rode his horse to the far edge of the courtyard, to wait apart from them.

“He told me--well, he really didn’t think you cared about him,” Historia told Levi in an apologetic undertone as they mounted up. “I told him he was wrong, but he was pretty convinced that we were never going to get rescued.”

Levi looked at Eren--his tense, set back. “Don’t worry about him,” he told her. She looked unhappy, but she nodded.

They rode out, and though it would be impossible for them to cover as much ground as they needed to in a single day, Levi was determined to bring them as far as he could. They stopped only when they needed to. Eren was still sulking and ignoring them, but Levi didn't pay any attention. He had other things on his mind.

He was worried about what would happen to his people if they reached Shinganshina first. He felt the weight of his choice heavily, and though he wasn't much of a pray-er, he prayed now. Let them be all right. Let us reach them in time.

It was dark before they stopped, and Historia stretched her sore body as she dismounted, wincing when her feet hit the ground. She hadn't been on the back of a horse in weeks, and she felt every bruise and bump.

“Levi, do you know this place?” she asked, looking at the inn curiously. He'd known where it was, striking out for it once they’d entered the town. 

“Hanji and I passed through here a long time ago,” he replied.

He went inside while they tended to the horses, and when they came in a few minutes later he’d gotten them rooms and ordered food to be sent up.

“Historia--I had a separate meal ordered for you, in case you want to eat by yourself and go to sleep right away.”

She gave him a look of intense gratitude. _“Yes,_ thank you.”

They went up together, Eren still hunched over in silence until he saw the small room. “We have to share?” he asked unhappily.

“Yes, obviously,” Levi said.

He washed his face and changed out of his clothes into something clean, and after a moment’s hesitation Eren did the same.

“How are you feeling?” Levi asked him.

“I’m okay,” Eren said.

Levi rolled his eyes, “Are you hurt? Tired?” he asked impatiently.

“I feel a lot better than yesterday. I’ll be fine.”

There was a knock at the door and a servant brought in a tray of food for them. They sat down, and Levi saw Eren noticeably perk up once he’d begun eating.

“This is really good,” he said after a while. 

“Yes.”

“Did you--you remembered it from before?” Eren asked curiously.

Levi shrugged. “Hanji and I were just passing through. We didn’t stay here, but we ate a good meal. I thought it would be nice to come back if I ever had the chance. We might all be dead in a few days, so now seemed as good a time as any.”

Eren paused to look at him. “Do you think we’re going to die?” he asked. He didn’t sound afraid, just curious.

Levi grunted, which could have meant yes or now. “I don’t have a good feeling about this,” he said honestly. “I couldn’t tell you why, except that it seems like Erwin is rushing things.”

“Oh,” Eren said. “I’m sorry...about earlier,” he said awkwardly. “For what I said.” He put down his half-eaten piece of bread and brushed his hair back. “Historia’s right,” he added in a low mutter. “Being down there messed me up.”

Levi waved a hand--indifference or beneficence. “Don’t worry about it. Eat your food.”

It seemed to have cleared the air at least--Eren relaxed, and Levi stayed quiet for the half hour it took them to finish eating and cleaning up before turning in. He was thinking about the next day--about all the distance they still had to travel. Calculating how far Erwin might have made it already, how many kilometers, how long to catch up to him. But behind all that there was another thought, another voice, another desire.

“Eren,” he said, meditatively, sitting on the bed. He’d undressed down to a pair of soft linen pants and a plain soft shirt, and his bare feet were crossed under his legs. “I think we’d better just do this, before you get kidnapped again.”

Eren looked at him, baffled. He was standing across the room, rummaging in his bag for something. Levi held out a hand and Eren came forward, obedient but confused. Like reeling in a fish, Levi thought, and kissed him.

It went on, for a second or two, and then Eren pulled back. He was staring at Levi--at his _mouth,_ and his own mouth was open in astonishment. He pushed himself away from Levi, physically, though the older man wasn’t touching him then. And Levi could see him wanting to give in, badly. 

But he steeled himself to look Levi in the eye. “What are you--why would you do that,” he asked breathlessly.

“Why do you think.”

“I don’t know!” Eren said, practically shouting.

“I wanted to.”

“No,” Eren said, fiercely, shaking his head.

“No, I don’t want to?” Levi asked mildly, “Or no, you don’t want to?”

“You don’t!”

“Because of what happened before?” Levi asked.

“You stopped me then,” Eren said.

“Yes,” Levi agreed. “It should be obvious to you by now that I’m terrible at this. Also, I don’t get off on weird power dynamics. I would never sleep with a subordinate. Or someone so much younger than me. Or _anyone_ in the Survey Corp. If you were smart you wouldn’t want to get involved with me anyway, but I’ve lived with you for several months now and I really don’t think you _are_ smart.

“There are a million reasons why we shouldn’t do this. But we’re both probably going to be dead soon anyway, so it doesn’t fucking matter.”

“But that’s not--” Eren said; he was clearly struggling to keep up with this unexpected onslaught of honesty; “That’s--last time, when we--why would you go along with it and then stop!”

Levi considered this for a moment before answering. “I felt guilty,” he said at last. “I was angry at Erwin for putting me in a situation where I felt like I was taking advantage of you.”

“Oh,” Eren said, and Levi reached for him again, holding out a hand. Eren took it, but didn’t move forward.

“Well? What do you want to do?” Levi asked.

“But, but,” Eren said. “You never said--”

“What?”

“Do you want me? Do you like me?” Eren asked in a small pathetic voice.

“For fuck’s sake!” Levi said in exasperation. “This is why I can’t do this. I cannot fucking babysit you, Eren. I just disobeyed my commander and abandoned a mission that could determine the fate of humanity. I _ran away from my post_ to get you back. What the fuck do you think?”

Eren stared at him like he was the looking at the sun, but before Levi could complain any more Eren had grabbed him and kissed him. “I think you’re wonderful,” Eren said when he finally pulled away, and Levi glared at him.

He kissed him again, showing more moxie than should have been possible in the circumstances. He held Levi’s face firmly in his hand, keeping his thumb on Levi’s chin.

It was irritating, and Levi wanted to struggle against him on principle. Ugh, this whole thing was so messy and inappropriate, he couldn’t believe he’d allowed himself to get involved...

Though Eren was turning out to be a decent kisser, he had to grudgingly admit. He moved so that he was kneeling on the bed. Eren was still standing, and he put his arms around Levi’s waist.

“I--I--I didn’t think--” Eren said.

“You shouldn’t talk anymore. Nothing good can possibly come of it,” Levi said grumpily, and Eren laughed.

It was good. He’d forgotten how it felt to have a warm, living body against you; someone you liked, someone you wanted. The last time with Eren had taken him by surprise, and afterward he’d been too ashamed of his reaction to think about it as anything but a mistake.

This was better. Eren was lying all over him, and he liked that. There were a lot of things he liked about Eren; had, almost from the first, things that he’d never let himself think about. He liked the way Eren smelled; there was something soft about it, hard to describe. It was like the fresh scent of the outside after rain. And he wasn't someone who noticed how other people smelled, usually, unless it was to complain about it.

He liked the way Eren moved, especially the unconscious grace he had when he was using the 3DM. 

He liked the sound of his breath. He’d missed that these last few weeks--waking up alone, the room had seemed too empty and silent.

They peeled off their clothes and lay together, tangled up. Eren touched him everywhere, tracing every muscle with his hands and lips. 

“I love your body,” Eren told him, head buried in Levi’s shoulder. He hadn’t listened any of the times Levi had told him to stop talking. He didn’t know what else he’d expected. “You’re so beautiful.”

He kissed Eren to shut him up, which was only partially effective. He kept kissing him. He was on top of Eren--he kissed his way down his body. He’d never done this before with a man--had never wanted to--but he wanted to with Eren.

He kissed him lower and Eren had stopped talking, for now. Just gasping and stroking Levi’s hair in silent wonder. Levi licked around his cock, took it into his mouth and sucked, and Eren groaned and pressed his heels against Levi’s sides. He kept going, partially experimental, partially remembering what he’d once liked himself.

He thought he was doing okay--Eren was keeping up a steady stream of encouragement, anyway--when Eren took a deep breath and pulled him away. He put a hand down between them, taking hold of himself and squeezing, breathing deeply.

“What?” Levi asked, slightly annoyed.

“Nothing, just, could you please--” he was lying back, pulling Levi suggestively towards him.

Levi sighed, feeling moderately martyred. “I didn’t think you were going to make me reinvent the wheel tonight,” he complained, but he got up to go and look for something.

“Huh?” Eren said, baffled. 

“I’ve never done this before,” Levi said. “With a _man,”_ he clarified, at Eren’s look of alarmed confusion.

“Oh. But you--”

“Yes,” Levi said, testily, and Eren got the message and shut up.

Levi came back to the bed, holding something in his hand. 

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” he asked skeptically.

It was hard not to smile--too hard. “Yeah, yes, I’m sure,” Eren said, and he kissed Levi again. Levi kissed him back. One of his hands reached down to touch Eren--slick with oil, and Eren shivered as Levi’s strong fingers stroked him experimentally a few times, before moving down over his hip and thigh, then lower to his ass. He started rubbing at the tender skin there--moving in fits and starts. He’d touch Eren for a few seconds, and then stop to cover his fingers in more oil, then come back again, touch again.

His fingers moved slowly but irresistibly, and Eren focused hard on keeping his body relaxed. It didn’t hurt, exactly, but it was a little uncomfortable. He didn’t think Levi wanted this anywhere nearly as bad as he did, and he didn’t want to do anything to make Levi stop.

It was starting to hurt, just a little, and Eren squirmed to try to relieve some of the pressure. Levi pushed back against him, and _something_ happened.

“Oh, oh wow,” he said, clutching tight at him, and Levi did it again.

“Now’s okay?” Levi asked--somehow, Eren heard him through a fog of pleasure--yes, sure, anything. Levi was hovering above him--he looked thoughtful but he lowered his body down, and lined up his cock, holding himself there in the cleft of Eren’s ass.

He pushed forward, just a little, but Eren was impatient and he pulled Levi forward and into him. He felt it again, that delicious fiery white-hot burst, but beyond that he heard Levi grunt in surprised pleasure.

They moved together--a little awkwardly, at first, trying to find some kind of rhythm. Levi kept gasping and grasping at Eren’s shoulders to brace himself. He’d move his hips a couple of times and then stop suddenly to catch his breath. He was making the softest noises--almost like he was trapped, in pain, and trying to keep quiet about it.

 _It’s too good,_ Eren realized suddenly. _He’s trying to hold back. He’s trying to control himself._ All thought of his own pleasure disappeared; the idea that he could make _Levi_ lose control was hotter than anything else he could imagine.

“Levi,” he said, his hands coming to rest on Levi’s ass, holding him in place. The next stroke hit that spot again, and he groaned, pulling Levi on, wanting it. “Keep going,” he said, “yeah, like that--”

He wouldn’t let Levi stop, and he could _feel_ how close Levi was, teetering on the edge, which was amazing, and he nuzzled Levi’s neck and urged him on. He kept talking, and Levi was shaking in his arms, and oh, it was so fucking good he wanted this every day forever.

They were just moving now; instinct alone driving them on. Levi’s whole body was stiff in his arms, and he shuddered, his cry muffled against the side of Eren’s neck.

 _I did that,_ Eren thought, smug and self-satisfied. He held Levi through the shivery aftershocks, and at some point between one moment and the next they fell asleep.

 

 

In the morning Eren woke him up, wanting to go again, but he was disappointed when Levi suggested that he could fuck him.

“Now you don’t want to?” he asked in annoyance; he had offered in a spirit of fairness.

“No, I do, I just thought we could do what we did last night--”

He let Eren have what he wanted; but what he actually wanted, it turned out, was Levi kneeling and sitting back on his calves, while Eren straddled him. Eren was too tall like this--his chin was above Levi’s head--but otherwise it felt fantastic. Levi kept his hands on his hips as Eren rode him. He wondered where Eren had come up with this position…

And then a thought he hadn’t considered before occurred to him. What it would be like to have this all the time--a young, athletic, creative, adventurous partner...someone just as flexible as he was, and almost as strong...

Afterward, they held each other in the soft morning glow coming in through the window.

“I hope we don’t die in Shinganshina,” Eren said dreamily, startling a laugh out of him.

“Me too,” he replied.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man. Action scenes are exhausting to write. :::flops over:::
> 
> This deviates from canon considerably, but runs parallel to it. If you aren't current on the manga (at least up to a couple of chapters ago) you may not be able to figure out what the hell is going on. Also, although this deviates consider there to be spoilers of a sort. Though if you've read this story up to now you'll know that who's alive and who's dead in this story is different from the manga--and that will continue (possibly reassuring?). As always, <3 feedback.

 

 

 

 

Levi sat astride his horse on the rise of a hilltop, surveying the green plains that lay before Shinganshina. Stretched out before them in the valley below were Titans--hundreds of them--standing before the Wall.

“This doesn’t look good,” Levi said, putting his binoculars down.

“What do you want us to do?” Historia asked. There wasn’t hesitation in her voice, and he admired her for that. In the circumstances--against these odds--he would have expected her to be subdued if not downright terrified.

“I don’t like the look of that thing,” Levi said with his usual understatement. At the center of the group was a monster grotesque even by Titan standards. It looked more animal than human, with enormous outsize arms--arms that it was using to pick up rubble and hurl at the Wall.

The rest of the Survey Corp was behind that Wall. Levi had seen Erwin and a few others on top of it, facing outward toward the threat.

_Did you predict this, Erwin?_ Levi wondered.

“I’m going after it,” he said. 

“You can’t get close to it without some kind of distraction!” Eren protested. 

“So make a distraction,” Levi said laconically, and Eren gave him a sudden reluctant grin. Levi had to look away, feigning interest in the beast and the Wall. He hadn’t wanted anything for himself in years. It was an odd feeling, sitting awkwardly in his chest.

Historia hauled the saddlebags down and started reorganizing them, pointedly turning her back to them. 

_How the hell did I end up here?_ Levi wondered. 

He slid off the horse and Eren reached for him. They embraced silently, and Levi felt the weight of him. Warmth, rough wool of the cape, strong arms, soft agile mouth. The wind rushed up around them, and over Eren’s shoulder he watched it blow out strands of Historia’s blonde hair.

“We’re probably all going to die here,” Levi said when he pushed Eren away.

Historia had finished, and she stood up to turn and face them. “Well, then let’s take those bastards with us.”

 

 

 

 

Earlier that morning the Survey Corp had arrived at the Wall unchallenged. Erwin had been wary but he told himself they had prepared as well as they could. The only thing left was to find the house, quickly, and then return to the interior. The secrets that he was sure were in the basement of the Jaeger house--that would be worth the sacrifices they had made. That would give them the advantage over their enemies.

“The city’s empty,” Hanji said, sheathing her blade as she approached. They’d split the squads up and sent them out to recon the area. Her voice was troubled.

“I’ll go with you and Armin to the Jaeger house--” he said, and then he was gasping and ducking beside Hanji as rubble soared over there heads, crashing into a nearby building.

“What--”

They turned to face the interior, and Erwin exhaled sharply. 

“How did they come upon us so quickly?” he said aloud. Hanji stared. There were hundreds of Titans below--and in their center something horrible--a beast Titan, unlike any she had ever seen. 

As they watched the thing picked up another boulder-sized piece of the wall and flung it towards them. This one missed by a greater distance, but it landed violently inside, destroying more of the city.

“We’re trapped in here,” Hanji said, sounding mesmerized.

Behind them there was an explosion, and then very quickly another one.

“Shit,” Hanji said succinctly. 

“Take the new weapons,” he said. “We need to take them out.” Before them the Colossal Titan and the Female Titan stood in the center of the city.

 

 

 

 

Across Shinganshina on the other side of the Wall two other teams heard the explosions at the same time. 

Armin had been absorbed into Hanji’s team for the duration of this mission, and that left Petra alone. She’d been assigned to Tomlat’s Squad temporarily. It wasn’t quite a demotion--and if anyone could understand how she felt it was Tomlat, who had also had a Titan shifter hiding in his ranks--but she still felt the loss of her own people, her own status, keenly.

Especially since Tomlat and Mikasa’s Squads had been joined together for the mission.

Mikasa turned to face the familiar sound at the same moment she did; the two women stood side by side on the Wall as warm hot air rushed towards them.

“It’s her,” Mikasa breathed.

The Female Titan stood at the city center, already half-crouched in a fighting stance between two buildings. The Colossal Titan towered above her.

Mikasa turned towards Petra, a question on her face. For the first time in their lives they were in perfect sympathy. 

_“Yes,”_ Petra said. For Oluo, and Eld, and Gunther.

She wouldn’t escape them this time.

 

 

 

 

The city was under attack. Within the Colossal Titan picked up whole houses and hurled them into the air, and outside the Beast Titan was throwing rubble over the Wall.

“How long until they’ve destroyed everything?” Hanji said.

“That’s their plan.” They were crouched low, running along the Wall. “We need to get to that basement!”

“Mikasa and Petra will go after the Female Titan,” Hanji said. “But unless we take out the Colossal Titan I don’t know if they stand a chance!” And that wasn’t even accounting for the new threat, or the army of mindless Titans that he seemed to be controlling.

“We’ll go after him with the new weapons,” Erwin said again, “and look for an opening. It’s all we can do.” He thought painfully, bitterly of Levi, and pushed the thought from his mind.

 

 

 

 

“Ready?” Historia asked him. Eren nodded. The charged across the plains together, and began hurling smoke bomb after smoke bomb at the Titans once they were in range. 

The Beast Titan paused to observe them.

“We’ve got their attention!” Historia screamed. 

“Wonderful!” Eren replied, scared out of his mind. He let himself scan the field, looking for Levi, and he swallowed hard. _Let him be all right_ he prayed. _Let everyone be all right._

 

 

 

 

The steam rising from the Colossal Titan’s body obscured him as he moved, and it was too hot for them to get close enough to strike him with their weapons. 

The Survey Corp descended upon the two Titans, doing their best to split them apart. Tomlat’s and Mikasa’s Squads surrounded the Female Titan, and at their center Mikasa and Petra did their best to tear her apart. 

They had the advantage of having fought her before. Each of them had relived that battle a thousand thousand times in the last year. They had been among the Corp’s best fighters when they had first gone up against her, and the combined experience of their Squad had been almost equal to that of the entire Corp.

But she had been unlike anything they had faced before, and she had left them broken. 

They were wary of her, but they stuck close, working together to keep her contained and to bring her down. She was even more careful than she had been the last time they had faced her. The weaknesses that she purposely left open they ignored in silent agreement. They were both prepared to die in this fight if it meant taking her with them, but neither of them intended to die foolishly.

Hanji spared them as much attention as she could, but she was fighting for her life and the lives of her squad. She landed on a rooftop, next to the young man that Erwin intended to succeed her.

“Armin,” she said, “what do you see?”

 

 

 

 

When Mikasa fell it was a mirror of what had happened a year ago, the last time they had faced her.

"You _bitch,"_ Petra hissed. Mikasa had saved her then. At the time she had been ashamed--if she hadn't been fooled, she was certain they could have taken her down together; instead she had taken advantage of the moment to escape into the woods. But not this time. _Mikasa, be all right,_ Petra thought, catching the lightning spear one of her teammates hurled at her and using it to shatter the crystal lattice on the Titan's fingers. _Live._

 

 

 

 

Armin had been paralyzed by their faith in him. He knew they were waiting for him to come up with a solution to this, he knew that his friends _were dying_ right in front of him because he hadn't figured out a way.

Hanji shook him roughly. "They did their duty," she said, with surprising gentleness. "Do yours. Don't look at them. Look at _him."_

Armin did. And Hanji saw the moment of insight flash upon his face. "Sir," he said, "I know what we have to do."

 

 

 

 

Hanji had lived through enough battles to recognize when things had turned. Each moment had lasted an eternity until--suddenly the clouds cleared, the sun came out, and you were left staring at the bodies of the dead and dying on the battlefield. Suddenly they were your most pressing concern.

Still unable to believe they had defeated the Colossal Titan she stumbled to her knees on a rooftop, and looked around her, trying to force her mind to this next critical task. She had lost sight of Erwin. She hoped he was all right.

She saw Petra some two hundred meters away going for the kill.

"No, Petra," she whispered, too late. It was a feint; the Female Titan was going to kill her--

And then Mikasa dove in, slicing the fingers from the Titan's hand. Hanji gasped, her heart leaping in sudden joy. She had seen Mikasa fall early on--had that only been a feint too? Petra came in from the opposite direction, slicing cleanly across the Titan's neck, and Hanji screamed in relief. She forced herself to her feet, looking around her.

And then she wept; Moblit was lying face-up on the rooftop across from her, his eyes staring vacantly into the sky.

 

 

 

 

Erwin had found Hanji soon after; he pressed one hand to her shoulder while she composed herself, but he was staring into the distance at the edge of the Wall. The Beast had stopped hurling rock within--for now. But he was their next challenge.

At least half of the scouts had died attacking the Colossus and the Female. The survivors were bruised and battered, tending to the wounded and dying. They were hardly fit for another fight. But if they didn't do something they would all die here--Hanji hadn't been wrong about that. They were trapped and surrounded.

A scout approached in the distance, traversing the city as fast as he could with the maneuver gear, and Erwin tensed himself for bad news. 

"What?" he said, as soon as the man was in shouting distance. "What is he doing?"

"The Captain's here!" the scout cried back. "Captain Levi! He's here! He's fighting it!"


	17. Chapter 17

Jean skittered across a rooftop, sending loose tiles flying under his feet.

“Is she--”

Petra was holding Mikasa’s head and shoulders in her lap, while Hanji did something to her arm. She cried out and gripped Petra’s arm with her other hand, squeezing so hard that her knuckles turned bone-white.

“She’s fine,” Petra mouthed, above Mikasa’s head, and Jean gave her a look of doubt and relief.

“It’s set. Lie still, Mikasa, while I bandage you up,” Hanji said.

“Is Eren with him?” Mikasa demanded. “Is he all right?”

“Huh?” Jean said.

“Someone said Levi’s here,” Petra said. She turned her head to look towards the wall. “Fighting that beast. We haven’t heard anything since Erwin and the others went over there.”

Mikasa struggled to rise but Hanji and Petra held her down. “I need to see!” Mikasa cried out, heartbroken.

“I’ll go, Mikasa," Jean said quickly. "I’ll find out what’s happening. Just stay here--lie back.”

“Thank you,” she said, giving him a look of gratitude. 

Even in the heat of battle he couldn’t help but wish she was half as concerned about _him_ as she was about Eren. Jean had known her since their trainee days, and for years he had tried in vain to move a heart that seemed to be made of stone. But this guy just showed up, and--

 _Knock it off,_ he told himself sternly. _They could be dead for all you know! And if the beast doesn’t get taken care of it’ll kill us all._

There were soldiers running back his way, along the wall; others were crossing the city on the maneuver gear.

“Hey!” he called out to one, nervously. “What is it? What’s happening? Is Captain Levi here? Did he defeat the beast?”

“He did, but the man controlling the Titan escaped,” the soldier replied, slowing down to talk to him. His face was familiar, but Jean wasn’t sure of his name. 

“And--was Eren with him?”

“Yes, but we don’t know where they are.” The other man grimaced. “Commander Erwin is sending a team back for horses to ride out, in case they were taken. Another team is searching the battlefield. The rest of us are supposed to recon the city and tend to the wounded. Green flares, if anyone spots them.”

“But--they just disappeared? How did you lose sight of them?”

“Eren and Historia were setting off smoke bombs to distract the beast--it’s a mess out there. Take a look for yourself if you like,” the soldier said. Then he flew off.

Swallowing hard--he did not want to report back a failure to Mikasa--Jean did as the man had suggested, and he flew up to the far side of the wall.

“Damn,” he whispered. The battlefield was littered with the rubble that the beast had been throwing, as well as rapidly evaporating Titan corpses. Jean noted the furry heap that had been the beast. How had the man who had been controlling it escaped, he wondered?

And he worried about Eren and Levi--his uncharitable thoughts forgotten, and he desperately hoped they were all right. Even Eren. Casting one last look over the hazy, smokey battlefield he turned back to fly towards the center of the city where the horses were. Erwin was likely to be there; he’d take his next instructions from the Commander.

As he made the first jump from the wall to the nearest building he happened to glance down below, spotting a shimmer of green out of the corner of his eye. And he was very nearly splattered, his instincts all that saved him from missing his connection and falling down twenty meters to the ground. Instead he landed gracelessly in a heap on the roof and rolled over once or twice. Heedless of his bruises he scrambled over to the edge of the roof for a better look.

Holy shit.

Hidden in the alley below--invisible from above, unless you happened to be right in the trajectory Jean had been flying--were their missing soldiers.

Dumbfounded Jean wondered if they had just skipped back in holding hands, oblivious to the fact that everyone was frantically searching for them.

He had believed in the ‘engagement’ as much as anyone had--which was to say, not at all. No one who knew Levi and Erwin had believed for a moment that it was anything other than another gambit, though Eren’s real reason for enlisting in the Corp had been a surprise to all of them when they had eventually found out.

And yet there they were--making out in the alley below. Jean watched in horrified fascination. If they were faking it, then it was literally the best acting he had ever seen in his life. Especially because Captain Levi was pushing Eren up against the brick wall and--

O-kay. That was definitely enough for him. Repositioning his gear he launched himself into the air to go report in.

 

 

 

 

“Um, Commander, could I speak to you for a second?”

Erwin turned--he prided himself on his professionalism, but he couldn’t help being annoyed with whoever it was who had spoken.

“Yes?” he said, but then seeing the boy’s face he stepped forward urgently and grabbed his shoulder.

“You found them?” he asked.

“Um, yeah they…” he looked helplessly at Erwin for a moment, then said, “they were on their way back when I saw them.”

“Inside the city? They’re all right? Unharmed?”

“Yeah, I--they were on foot, and when I went to...offer my assistance...Captain Levi made it clear that I should. Um. Go on ahead, and report in.”

Some part of Erwin noted the boy’s awkwardness but didn’t heed it; he was overwhelmed with relief. “Thank god,” he muttered. “They must be out of gas.” Raising his voice, Erwin called to the assembled soldiers, “They’re in the city. Search them out and let them know we’re here.”

“Sir? Can I go and let Mikasa know--she’s been injured.”

“Certainly,” Erwin said, giving him a distracted nod as he strode off.

 

 

 

 

Jean was less scrupulous about lying to Mikasa. 

“He’s fine; I just saw him. He’s with the Captain. They’ll be along shortly.”

Mikasa’s eyes welled up with tears; “Thank you,” she whispered. 

“She’s dopey because of the morphine Hanji gave her,” Petra muttered to him. “Are they really all right?”

“They seemed fine,” he said, not looking at her, and taking the hand Mikasa offered him. He was conscious, suddenly, of the fact that these were the two deadliest women in the Corp, and neither one of them was likely to be pleased when she found out that Levi and Eren’s fictitious relationship had turned real.

Or had always been real. Augh. Add that to the list of things he was actively trying to scrub from his brain. Either way he was not about to be the bearer of bad news on this one.

“Can I leave her with you, Jean?” Petra asked. She was perched near the lip of the roof, looking inward to where he'd just come from. “I want to find out what’s happening.”

“Yeah,” he said, a little too eagerly. “I mean, yeah, we’ll be fine.”

She glanced at him in amusement. “I’ll send someone back with rope and a stretcher to get her down,” she said, and then darted off.

Jean exhaled in relief, feeling he had gotten off pretty lightly all considered. He squeezed Mikasa’s hand gently, and allowed himself to pretend that at least _some_ of her relief was due to his safe return, and not _only_ Eren’s...


	18. Chapter 18

“Levi,” Erwin said. His eyes darted behind Levi’s shoulder, to where Eren was standing. He’d always been sensitive to sudden shifts in the wind, changes in direction. It was how he’d risen to command the Survey Corp, but more importantly how he’d _stayed_ in power.

Levi had long been his blind spot. He'd believed his loyalty to be unshakeable, and he was the last person Erwin would ever suspect of defection.

Levi stared back. He’d been battered by his fight with the Beast, and Erwin felt the brittleness there. There were soldiers nearby, tending to their equipment and to the dead and the wounded, but he felt as if it were only the two of them, as if the last ten years had passed in seconds.

With a pang he remembered the last time Levi had faced off against him like this. Levi was watching him carefully, and Erwin knew him well enough to know that he was not forgiven. Levi wasn’t returning to him as a penitent. He was waiting to see what Erwin would do.

But it was Levi who spoke. “He can seal the hole in the Wall.”

“What?” Erwin said, his eyes darting back to Eren.

“It’s true,” Eren said, clearing his throat.

“Well--that’s wonderful. After we reach the basement--”

Lightning fast Levi had closed the distance between them, and too late Erwin realized what he had missed. Levi wasn’t injured. He’d been looking at the bodies and the wounded. Wondering how many deaths he could have prevented if he’d arrived sooner. Perhaps wondering what difference it might have made if he’d never left.

He grabbed Erwin by the collar and pulled him down so that their eyes were nearly level. Erwin remembered their first meeting once again. Off to his left he saw Mike narrow his eyes and he waved him off.

He had manipulated Levi. In service--he had said--of a higher purpose. One that Levi had devoted himself to heart and soul. Never changing, never wavering, no matter the cost.

“No one else is going to die today,” Levi gritted out.

People were watching them. The other Squad Leaders had doubted Erwin’s explanation of Levi’s departure from the first. They were tensing up, readying for a fight, and in front of him Erwin saw Eren do the same.

“Of course you’re right,” Erwin said neutrally, in his most soothing tone. “We’ll go to the Wall first and Eren will seal the hole.”

Levi let him go abruptly. “Let’s go, Eren,” he said, not waiting, but Eren was right on his heels. Eren had given Erwin one last measuring look before he’d gone, and Erwin would have been exasperated by the alpha-maleness of it all if the stakes hadn’t been so terribly high, if his own miscalculation hadn’t yielded such dire results.

Funny, he thought, giving himself a breath to regain his composure. He hadn’t realized how fully lost to him Levi was until this moment.

 

 

 

 

It was the longest day of Levi’s life. He’d prowled around and checked the perimeter twice, and prayed silently over the bodies of the dead.

 _I will honor your sacrifice,_ he told them. _You have not died in vain._

He’d always believed those words. He’d believed that Erwin was the leader who could transform them. He had the vision to bring them forth, into the future.

But it felt as though these men and women, his men and women, had died unnecessarily. That if Erwin had waited…

Normally he didn’t allow himself to second guess his choices. But ever since Kenny had come, he’d been second-guessing Erwin’s, hadn’t he? Something more than he’d realized had changed in their time apart. He’d left feeling torn between two loyalties, wondering if he’d ever be able to return home. Dreading the thought that the Survey Corp might be lost to him forever.

And now…

Eren was still asleep in the tent when he ducked in and he stretched out at his side, close but not touching. He lay there for a long while, listening to Eren’s breaths and staring at the waxed canvas ceiling.

Eren rolled over and threw an arm around him.

“What’s wrong?” he murmured sleepily.

“Nothing,” he said, running a hand over Eren’s hair, roughly affectionate. “Go back to sleep.”

Eren didn’t. He rolled on top of him and kissed his neck and collarbone, and Levi was startled by how quick he was to respond. Eren unbuttoned his shirt, kissing his way down Levi’s chest, and he began to relax, petting Eren’s hair and shoulders.

Eren unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down, kissing lower, and he had Levi’s cock in his hand, in his mouth. Levi let it happen, for a few glorious shivery minutes, and then he grabbed Eren’s shoulders and tried to pull him up.

Eren swatted him away. 

“You owe me,” he said, darkly mischievous. For a minute he didn’t know what Eren was talking about--then he remembered their first disastrous encounter. He laughed involuntarily and he felt Eren smile against his belly.

Eren was kissing his way back, and this time Levi didn’t interrupt. He moaned when Eren bit his tender skin, running his teeth gently over the sensitive cockhead. He pulled at Eren’s hair, and Eren sucked hard, making Levi arch up. Eren brought a hand up to stroke between Levi’s legs, cupping and rubbing his balls, then squeezing his shaft while he kept working him over with his mouth.

It was exquisitely sweet. He was aware on some level, even in the heady daze of pleasure, that he was making himself terribly vulnerable. By continuing to allow it to happen. And then he was coming in Eren’s mouth, and there was nothing sweeter, and he forgot why it was he was supposed to be holding back. Eren was kissing him, pushing him back when he tried again to reciprocate.

“You go to sleep,” Eren said as if Levi had just spoken now, and not twenty minutes earlier. He snorted. Eren wrapped an arm around him, arranging his longer length against Levi’s back.

He wouldn’t sleep, was the last thought he had before drifting off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really short, I know, but for pacing this interlude didn't fit with the next chapter


	19. Chapter 19

When Eren got back Levi was staring out of his window, arms crossed over his chest. They'd returned from Shinganshina a few weeks earlier, and the court-martial Levi had imagined still hadn't come.

In fact, Erwin hadn't brought up Levi's desertion at all. This morning had been their first private meeting in a week--they've been busy, life has been filled with revelations and upheavals and change after change. He'd been expecting--something. Instead a capable stranger wearing Erwin's face had talked to him for an hour about rebuilding his SOS, about the political situation, about the new weapons and the new recruits.

“That bad, huh?” Eren asked playfully.

Levi glared at him.

Eren put his leather bag down, quickly sorting out his equipment and clothes and then whisking everything away out of sight. He came up to stand behind Levi and put his arms around him, pulling him in. Levi stretched back, allowing it.

“What happened?” he asked softly.

 _Nothing,_ Levi was tempted to say, turning the conversation into a dead end. If he said ‘nothing’ Eren would drop it. _And if Hanji asks me the same thing later I’ll probably tell her…_

 _I’ll share my body with you, but not my mind,_ Levi realized with a sudden guilty start, and he abruptly pushed Eren away. 

This wasn’t the first time he’d done this. He prided himself on self-awareness, and it was alarming to realize how often he’d shut down a conversation with Eren...sometimes to protect him, true, but more often than not to protect himself. Eren had never taken offense, and so he hadn’t thought…

It was appalling to think he’d been treating Eren more like a concubine than a partner. But that didn’t make it easier to overcome a lifetime of reserve. Not for the first time he regretted his decision to pull Eren into this with him.

Eren, after a moment’s hesitation let him go. Levi didn’t even need to turn to look at him to see him thinking: _Is it me? Should I speak now, or keep quiet?_

 _You’re so much better at this than I am,_ Levi thought sadly. 

“It’s Erwin,” Levi said shortly, forcing himself to speak before he could rationalize his silence.

“Ah,” Eren said after a short pause, and Levi looked back over his shoulder; Eren looked both conscious and unsurprised. Levi smiled involuntarily.

“You already knew, huh?”

“I know things have been difficult,” Eren said with an awkward little shrug and Levi watched him curiously now; there was something Eren knew and wasn’t saying. He leaned back against the windowsill.

“What?” Eren asked.

“You look like _you_ want to talk.”

Again Eren shrugged. “He isn’t just angry because you disobeyed his orders to get us back.”

“No…”

“Well...then?”

Levi was quiet for a long time. “Trust means a lot to us. You know that. Before this there was no one he trusted more than me, and now he can’t...and I’m not sorry. Because I don’t trust him either. Before, I thought our interests, our goals, were the same. And now…” _I can’t trust him to look after the people I care about; I can’t trust him to watch over you._

“Is that everything, though? Have you ever thought...did he ever ask you…”

“Huh?”

“I mean...did you ever think he might be interested in you?”

It _still_ took him a moment to figure out what Eren meant, and when he did he snorted.

“You think this is about _you?”_ There was a joke that there were no secrets in the Corps, that if you were interested in somebody everybody else knew about it before you did. And everyone _had _seemed to know, as if it had spread telepathically through the Scouts, that Levi and Eren’s real-fake-real relationship had settled on being real. No one had said anything, but Petra’s stiff wire-tailed silence, Mikasa’s frosty looks, and everyone else’s speculative gawking had made it pretty clear that they weren’t fooling anyone. “That’s kind of conceited of you, don’t you think?” Levi asked skeptically.__

__Eren blushed furiously. “I knew you were going to say that,” he mumbled in resignation._ _

_But you said it anyway,_ Levi thought, at the same time Eren said, “I’ve seen how he looks at you. When he thinks nobody else can see,” and Levi’s heart stopped. 

__“I noticed when we were all riding here together, after you first brought me back from my village. At first I thought the two of you...that part of why you were angry was because I was interfering. But then I realized you were only friends.”_ _

"Eren…” Levi said slowly. He _wanted_ to believe that it was merely conceit, that Eren only imagined himself triumphing over a rival in misguided fantasy. But Eren is humble, and he’s speaking now with embarrassed candor. He wanted to tell Eren, _No, you’re wrong; I’ve known him for a decade…_ But hasn’t he just finished telling Eren how little he’d known Erwin’s heart after all?

“Yes. I thought, maybe, that you didn’t know.”

__“I can’t believe…” Levi said, a little impatiently. “I’ve known him for a long time, Eren.”_ _

“You said you haven’t been in many relationships,” Eren said.

__“So?”_ _

__“Did he know that?”_ _

__“Probably!”_ _

__“He might have thought you weren’t interested in relationships at all,” Eren said carefully. Not everyone in the Survey Corp is. Half of them are sex maniacs, but the other half are practically celibate. If you're bad at relationships it's easy to blend in, to pretend it's by design instead of accident._ _

__Levi wanted to protest; why wouldn’t Erwin have made a move? He’d never lacked for nerve. He can’t see _Erwin_ of all people pining away year after year. And he’s never been interested in Erwin anyway…_ _

_You wouldn’t have been,_ a tiny voice in his head said. _After he made you kneel in the dirt for him._

__That memory stopped him cold._ _

__Erwin had caught him with the intention of coercing and humiliating him; it had worked too well. Had Erwin known what he was doing? Had he known what it meant...to be forced down like that, in the Underground? That it was prelude to gang rape or murder? The mania that had seized him afterward...to revenge himself on the man that had so thoroughly and completely humiliated him, and taken away his control...the man that was--he’d later learned--a good man, and probably hadn’t known what it meant after all…especially to someone like Levi._ _

__Not until it was too late, anyway._ _

__And everything that happened afterwards. Stemming from his reckless pride. And Erwin’s._ _

__Eren was watching him cautiously--hands held open at his sides. Unconsciously trying to make himself as unthreatening as possible._ _

_He would never make me kneel,_ Levi thought. 

__“I’m all right,” he said, to reassure him._ _

__“I could be wrong,” Eren said quickly, because he’d seen that the conversation had upset him. Not because he believed he was wrong._ _

__“Maybe,” Levi said. “But maybe not. I don’t know him as well as I thought I did.”_ _

__“I thought maybe you didn’t know…” Eren said hesitantly. “I just...I know things have been difficult since we got back. I think Erwin realizes he’s lost you...”_ _

__“Lost the contest for my hand?” Levi said sourly and Eren didn’t smile as he shook his head._ _

__“No. Just...maybe he was content before, thinking you weren’t interested in relationships--”_ _

__“I’m not.”_ _

__Eren did grin then, and carried on, “I know you spent more time with him before I joined the Survey Corp. Maybe he was content with your friendship, knowing more wasn’t possible. Or maybe he was holding out hope for the future. Or maybe he just didn’t know how he felt, himself...until he saw that you had changed.”_ _

__“Hmph. So _if_ you were right, what are you suggesting I do?”_ _

__Eren shrugged one shoulder. “You know him better than me. Do you think I’m right?”_ _

__“I’ll have to think about it,” Levi said, and Eren apparently decided it was safe to approach him now, because he came forward to twine himself around Levi._ _

__“I didn’t mean to upset you…”_ _

__“You didn’t. This has been on your mind for a while?”_ _

__Eren shrugged self-consciously. “I could have been wrong.”_ _

__But Eren was perceptive, particularly about things that were important to him. Familiarity bred contempt; Levi would have no reason to look at Erwin for hidden meanings or signs of (ugh!) secret passion._ _

__Eren would have had every reason to study his new captors. He’d already proven he was remarkably perceptive when it came to Levi, so long as self-doubt wasn’t holding him back. Hell, more perceptive than Levi _wanted_ him to be half the time._ _

__And he was, by Levi’s own admission, better at relating to people. There wasn’t any reason not to hear Eren out, except his own instinctive distaste for the idea._ _

__Erwin was a friend, not a lover. A good, beloved, trusted friend--in fact the closest relationship he’d ever had. At least until recently._ _

__Well, shit._ _

__He didn’t know who, if anyone, Erwin took to bed. He’d never been aware of any entanglements, but it was also not something he would have been interested in anyway. Few things bored him more than listening to other people discuss their sexual conquests; he’d rather hear Hanji talk about Titan anatomy._ _

__For his own part he’d never set out to avoid sex, it was just usually too much of a hassle to bother with. His mania for cleanliness, his absolute refusal to deal with prostitutes, his insistence on equality in relationships (no subordinates, which ruled out practically everyone in the SC), and his own infrequent attraction had made him more or less celibate these past few years. It hadn’t seemed that important...until Erwin had all but shoved Eren into his lap._ _

__He’d woken up. His body, normally so obedient, had regularly and enthusiastically disobeyed him during their fictitious courtship. He’d taken things much farther than he’d ever intended, and been guilt-ridden afterwards._ _

__The fact that Eren vigorously and warmly returned his affection wasn’t enough to clear his conscience. He still thought he was too old, too eccentric, too unsuitable._ _

__Eren didn't. But Eren was young and stupid. (And perceptive...understanding...and good at massaging away Levi's own insecurities). Whether from inexperience, stubbornness, or just plain foolishness he seemed to think Levi was worth putting up with._ _

__

__

__

__

__One morning they woke up together and made love, which was normal but what Levi said next was not. Eren was lying there, sleepy and sated, when Levi suddenly asked,_ _

"Do you _want_ to get married?" in a tone that seemed to imply he'd overlooked some trifling but still important detail, like the week before when he'd remembered Eren still hadn't been measured for winter boots. 

__"Yes," Eren said, keeping his eyes closed, instantly and without hesitation._ _

__"I have some money," Levi reflected as he stood up and began dressing. "Not a lot, but I suppose it would be easier for you to inherit if we were married."_ _

__This was something new. He'd never been overcome with happiness like this, a cup filled to its brim and flowing over. He laughed._ _

__"What?"_ _

__"If you think we're ever going to be in a situation in which _I_ survive, and you don't--"_ _

__Levi quirked a smile, as if this hadn't occurred to him. "It could happen," he said. "When do you want to do it?"_ _

__"Huh?"_ _

__"It's easier if we do it while we're still in Mitras. Getting the license and going before the magistrate."_ _

__"Today?" Eren asked, more to see what Levi's reaction would be than because he was serious._ _

__Levi sat on the edge of the bed to pull his boots on. "I'm not sure how long it takes to get a license," he said. "I'll ask Hanji. Do you want your friends there?"_ _

__"Like a party?" Eren asked uneasily, imagining Petra and Mikasa in a small enclosed space._ _

__"Ugh--I mean, if you want."_ _

__"Not really," he admitted. "Maybe we should just ask Hanji?"_ _

__Levi smiled slowly. "And just let everyone find out about it afterwards? I can't imagine they'll be too happy." He himself did not sound opposed to the idea._ _

__"All equally unhappy though," Eren said shrewdly, and Levi laughed._ _


	20. Chapter 20

The green baize curtains in Erwin’s office were dusty. To be expected, he supposed. They’d been away from HQ for over a month and Erwin’s standards for cleanliness were nothing like his own.

The Survey Corp had come back into residence yesterday, but Erwin accompanied by Mike’s squad had preceded the rest of them by a few days.

He and Eren had spent yesterday cleaning and rearranging Levi’s room. Their room now, really. If Eren had minded having to do chores after a few hard days’ travel then he’d hid it well. He'd seemed pleased by everything.

It wasn’t like Erwin to keep him waiting.

“Sorry,” Erwin said, coming in at last. “How was the journey?” He settled into the chair at his desk, opposite Levi, and before Levi could answer he smiled and added, “When’s the wedding?” He was joking; this was the closest they’d come to talking about it. Their meetings until now have been curiously limited in scope, considering all that’s happened.

Eren. Levi’s betrayal. The retaking of Shinganshina.

“Two weeks ago,” Levi said.

Erwin stared at him, shocked. All the humor had left his face. “You’re serious?” he said. When Levi didn’t respond he grew pale and leaned back. “You should have told me,” he said stiffly. “I would have given you time off.”

It had just been the three of them before the magistrate; Hanji and Eren and Levi. After the brief ceremony they’d headed straight to a tavern at Hanji’s insistence so that she could buy them a round of drinks. By the time word had spread and half the Survey Corp had turned up (not to mention a handful of Garrison soldiers and MPs) Eren had long since passed out at the bar, head pillowed on his cloak. Hanji had embraced her hostess role with verve, and Levi sat back and watched it all, enjoying it more than he would ever admit.

What exactly they were celebrating had been left a little vague, but Levi knew there were rumors that he’d married Hanji, or that Hanji had married Eren (her love of Titans being well-established). There was of course the long-standing rumor that he and Eren were together, but no one outside of the Scouts believed it, and even the Scouts had moved on to more interesting scandals. The fact that none of them were wearing rings gave everyone a healthy skepticism of these tidings (Levi had asked, but Eren had dismissed the idea as impractical; he didn’t want Levi wearing anything that might impede his use of the maneuver gear, and he worried any ring he wore might be dissolved or damaged in a transformation) but a festive atmosphere had taken hold anyway.

Around eleven the place had been entirely taken over by the military, and someone had the bright idea to run relay races; all the tables were pushed to the sides of the room and soldiers lined up against one wall, everyone else standing on tables or hanging from the rafters to whistle and cheer them on.

Hanji--riding Mike’s back--was in the lead, but a garrison soldier and the MP astride his shoulders were hot on their heels.

“You look happy,” someone observed on Levi’s right. 

He turned. 

Armin inclined his head to Eren, sound asleep on Levi’s left in spite of the raucous party. “Is it true?”

“You know already, so why are you asking?” 

Armin frowned, biting his lip and staring out at the room. “Why didn’t you tell us? Petra and Mikasa aren’t even here...neither is the Commander.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Levi said lightly. “Hanji wanted to buy us a drink; I didn’t know we’d still be here eight hours later.”

“Or that she’d invite half the Corp?” Armin asked skeptically.

“I don’t think that’s what happened. I think word just got around that Hanji was buying everybody free drinks.”

Armin snorted. “You didn’t answer my question.” He had a healthy respect for the Captain; everyone did. But Eren was his friend. 

Levi watched his soldiers for a while; cavorting, laughing, throwing their arms around each other. 

“Everyone’s been speculating about us,” he said, after a while. “You wouldn’t understand; Erwin’s allowed you to operate in the shadows.”

Levi heard Armin’s sharp inhale, and he carried on, “Sometimes it’s tiring being the object of so much scrutiny.” He didn’t think Armin could understand. Everything that had happened to them had been because of someone else’s schemes and machinations. Eren’s father...Erwin...the government, Rod Reiss, the intelligent Titans...

Taking Eren’s hand in his, with only Hanji to bear witness--that had been for them. No outside judgment or consideration or artifice. He had given Eren free reign to choose, and he’d discarded all the trappings and ribbons. 

What remained had been their hands, joined together.

That was something no one--not church or god or government, not king or queen or Titan, not even death could take away.

Finally around two or three in the morning everyone had staggered off to the barracks or else fallen asleep where they lay. The landlord (enormously pleased with the night’s takings) had insisted that Levi take his new bride and spend the night in one of the rooms upstairs--for free. He had meant Hanji, of course, but he’d been unperturbed when Levi carried Eren up the stairs, Hanji stumbling and chortling along behind them. 

Not a large room but clean, with lavender in a vase on a side table and the bed freshly made up. 

He’d tucked Hanji and Eren into the bed like two children, and then he’d sat in the lone armchair and stretched his legs out, cape spread over his lap.

Hanji had fallen asleep almost immediately, and she was snoring like a sawmill. Eren was quiet, his slow breaths almost inaudible. _Thank god,_ Levi had thought before falling asleep, smiling as he watched over them. _I married the right one._

 

 

 

 

“I’m sorry,” Levi said, after a moment. “I thought you would have heard.” Apparently that had been the wrong thing to say because Erwin’s frown deepened.

 

 

 

 

The next morning Eren had woken up hungover and chagrined--not to mention bewildered at finding Hanji in the bed next to him. He’d babbled an apology at Levi before he was fully awake. Levi had yawned and gotten up, letting the cape slip down to the chair, and he’d come and squeezed in between them--Hanji at his back snoring on oblivious.

“Please,” he muttered, biting the back of Eren’s neck and making him gasp, “I could fuck you right here and she wouldn’t know the difference. She drank about a gallon of brandy last night before I stopped keeping track. And you’re just a lightweight.”

Eren laughed and flushed; Levi had been kidding but apparently he hadn’t gotten the joke because he dragged Levi’s hand down and around his already-hard cock. 

Oh, well. It was unlikely Hanji _would_ sleep through it but at least he knew he could count on her discretion. He supposed if Eren had an exhibitionist streak then that was his fault, for always initiating things when they’d had an audience at the beginning. 

At least, he reflected, nuzzling Eren's neck as he worked him with his hand and Eren breathed roughly in his ear, Eren could keep quiet when he had to. Levi hadn’t intended to do anything himself. But Eren had undone the front of his pants when he’d pushed his own down--meaning his cock was snug against the cleft of Eren’s ass. Eren was moving his hips, grinding against him as Levi stroked his cock, all sweet friction, and _holy hell_ never mind Hanji was never going to let him live this down…

Eren was crazy enough that Levi knew he would have let him fuck him dry; compared to that, rutting against him while Hanji sleeps beside them was almost _restrained._

Afterward Eren had buried his face in his hands. “Did we really just…”

Levi had laughed silently, face pressed to Eren’s neck. No, never mind; nothing Hanji said to him later could make this not worth it. Eren’s embarrassment was priceless.

Eren glanced back at him over his shoulder. “Some honeymoon, huh?” he said in a low, apologetic voice.

“Do I look like I have anywhere else to be?” Levi asked drily. Eren had smiled, slow and happy, and Levi had added with the resignation borne of experience, “Did you think we were going to be normal? We're not going to be normal.”

 

 

 

 

“Huh?” he said, running a hand through his hair and trying to pretend his mind hadn’t been a million miles away. Erwin was speaking.

“Does everyone know?”

“I don’t know,” Levi said, shrugging. “We weren’t keeping it a secret, but Hanji was the only one we told. To be honest, I’ve had enough of everyone’s speculation. Apart from the fact that this was your idea, to start with.”

“I know,” Erwin said quietly, and Levi thought of Eren, gently prodding.

“It’s nothing you did or didn’t do, Erwin.” This is the closest he can come to addressing it directly. “It would have happened anyway.”

“You’re sure about that?” Erwin said, sadness that Levi can’t even pretend to misconstrue coloring his voice.

“Yes,” Levi said simply. He isn’t going to apologize or make excuses, but he isn’t going to explain either. _Eren’s hand in his._ He doesn’t have to. 

“Then, if I may,” Erwin said slowly, “I’d like to offer you both my congratulations, and wish you every happiness together.”

“Thank you,” Levi said.

Erwin fingered a pencil on his desk, turning it over in his hands. “Have you decided on your squad?”

“Petra, Armin, and Jean Kirstein.”

“You asked them already?”

“Yes. It only needs your approval.”

“Petra doesn’t mind?”

“I asked her. She said she’d prefer to wait to reform her own squad, given what’s happened.”

Erwin grunted. “And what about you?”

Levi gazed back at him steadily.

“If it comes down to it,” and Erwin’s voice was harsh now, “will you disobey my orders again to do whatever you please?”

“I can separate my personal feelings from my duty,” Levi replied levelly. “Can you?”

Erwin narrowed his eyes. “Your duty was to obey my orders.”

“And your orders were to protect Eren. That’s what I was doing.”

“I told you--”

“You told me a lot of things, Erwin,” Levi said. He had the feeling that whatever was left of their friendship would be gone after this, but he couldn’t make himself care enough to stop.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Erwin demanded.

“For humanity,” Levi said. “That was why I followed you. Not to satisfy your personal ambition.”

“And what you did, that wasn’t for personal reasons?”

“No,” Levi said, and he meant it. “It wasn’t until afterward that I realized what he meant to me. But I think on some level I knew you were wrong. That he and Historia were too important to lose.

“I’m sorry that I had to defy you over this. But I’d do it again.”

_I chose what I’d regret the least._ The words hung in the air, unspoken.

“And what if you need to make a choice between him and the fate of humanity?” Erwin said darkly. “Am I supposed to trust you to do that after all that’s happened?”

“I will,” Levi said quietly. “I told him...he understood. He agreed.”

Levi’s words, his tone, shook him out of his anger and resentment. He’d known Levi a long time. He’d thought he’d known him better than anyone, and he knew he didn’t love lightly or easily. 

_He keeps his word,_ Erwin thought suddenly. _Better than I do._ For the first time since he’d returned Erwin looked at his friend, and not his wayward subordinate.

He thought of the many deaths they’d suffered at Shinganshina...and how possible, how more than possible it would have been for them all to die, if Levi hadn’t turned up when he had. Levi, running himself ragged to chase after them all, to rescue and redeem and liberate.

What had he ever asked for himself, in all the years Erwin has known him? Nothing. His ambition to become a citizen had died with his friends...it’s only in caring about people that Levi cares about anything.

“You mean it?” Erwin asked after a moment, in a different voice. 

Levi’s eyes were hooded; he nodded.

What must it have cost him, to say that to Eren? Who, if actions are to be believed, he loves more than he’s ever loved anyone?

“Then,” Erwin said softly, for the sake of his friend sweeping aside his own regrets and frustrated hopes, “I hope it won't come to that. And I promise, Levi, I’ll do my best to make sure it doesn’t.”

 

 

 

 

“Oh--uh--hi, Petra,” Eren said awkwardly. She was standing at the bottom of the long stone staircase--since it only led up to Eren and Levi’s room it was clear she’d been waiting for him.

She fixed her wide hazel eyes on him. “Do you make him happy?” she demanded. 

He withered under her glare. “I try,” he said honestly.

She sighed, sagging a little. “I do too,” she said. “Or at least I did. I--” she looked him over. _What does he see in you?_ she was clearly thinking. She sighed. “He asked me today if I wanted to be part of his new squad. To protect _you.”_

“Oh. I thought...you found out about--”

She frowned. “Yeah. Armin told me last week.”

“Um. Sorry?”

She laughed bitterly. “Yeah, I guess I can see why you wouldn’t have wanted us there.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Eren said quietly, looking down. “Just, ever since I joined the Survey Corp everyone’s been speculating and gossiping--about me, about us. We wanted to do something that was just for ourselves.”

She didn’t say anything at first, and when she did he jerked his head up in surprise.

“He really does love you,” she said sadly. He stared back at her, reddening a little, and she stepped forward holding out her hand.

“It will be my honor to serve with you,” she said.

 

 

 

 

Mikasa, Armin, and Petra had all gone privately to Hanji to _express their concerns_ after finding out, and Hanji was sympathetic and discreet in her role as mentor and friend. But her response to each of them had been the same:

“Believe me. They’re perfect for each other.”

 

 

 

 

Mikasa and Petra had started spending more time together off duty--grousing about the situation and gossiping about the men in their lives. It didn’t occur to either of them that being excluded from Levi and Eren’s hasty wedding had been a kindness--that they would have been miserable to be there under any circumstances, and the injustice of being excluded had freed them to complain without guilt.

But they were good people who loved their friends, and so publicly they supported the couple (even though it was only private mutual disapproval that allowed them to finally lay their old rivalry to rest.)

Jean was conflicted. It was nice having Mikasa pay so much attention to him these days...even though most of what she wanted from him was just another pair of eyes on Eren. Still, he was optimistic that things between them could only improve; from what he could tell Eren had zero interests or hobbies outside of Captain Levi. Eventually Mikasa had to realize that ship had sailed, right?

Armin stayed wary long after everyone else had taken them for granted. “The Captain and Eren” everyone said, as if there’d never been a time Levi had been solitary.

In spite of their talk at the bar the night of the wedding Armin _hadn’t_ given Captain Levi the same kind of scrutiny he gave to most things. He’d gotten to know most of the senior leadership well over his years in the SC, but the Captain had always been a mystery--his motives, his past. And he was dangerous; Armin knew that as well as anyone. You didn’t pry into the life of a man like that, not without good reason.

Well, he had a good reason now. Ever since his return to them Armin had been struck by his friend’s innocence; Eren was still the same sweet but hot-tempered boy he remembered. When Erwin had first written to him about the ruse he’d believed it could only end in disaster--the Captain, shackled to someone like _Eren?_

Even after the kidnappings and rescues he’d had doubts. Their too-hasty marriage had only made them worse. And so he did what he always did when gathering information; he watched. He waited. He stayed too long, he eavesdropped, he listened.

And what he saw, over and over again, was the same extraordinary thing.

Eren understood Levi. To Eren alone he was no mystery at all. 

If Levi was a locked box (and Armin fervently believed that he was; the Captain was nothing but locked boxes all the way down) then Eren was the skeleton key to them all. The Captain was a different person with Eren. Not in big ways, but in small, tiny ways; a chair moved a quarter centimeter to the left, a pen left out on a desk, a smile where before there had been no smile at all. Tiny things were Armin’s stock in trade, they were what he’d built his career on.

And seeing those two together--over and over again, privately and publically and _very_ privately--was eventually enough to convince him that nothing untoward was happening. The Captain wasn’t some psychotic deviant and Eren wasn’t being manipulated. Eventually he had to admit Hanji had been right.

“How did you know?”

He was in her lab, helping her with samples. Lumit--the maniac, the one who could theoretically make Titan serums, the one locked up in the capital, the one who believed he could talk to gods--had had a good deal with him in his underground lair, but processing them was a nightmare. 

Nothing had so far made Lumit talk; when they’d threatened him with torture he had smiled at them and started breaking _his own fingers._ They’d had to restrain him to get him to stop.

It had been months and so far they hadn’t been able to determine anything at all about the samples, though Hanji was still gamely trying.

“Hmm? What are you talking about now, Armin?”

“Eren and the Captain,” he said. “You said they were perfect for each other. How did you know?”

Hanji startled him by braying out a sudden laugh. She shook her head, not looking up from her microscope. 

“You’re not going to tell me?” he said in surprise, after a moment.

“You’re not old enough to know,” she said. She considered. “I’m not old enough to know!”

 

 

 

 

This is the Survey Corp: happy, mad, manic, crying, tragic, loving, laughing, dreaming. They are the vessel of humanity’s hopes and the vanguard of the future. 

And not a single one of them is happier than Eren Jaeger. 

He’d lost track of how many times he’d died and been reborn--after Shinganshina had fallen, after he’d thought he’d thought his friends had died, after he finally admitted to himself he was too old to ever join the Survey Corp.

After his mother had died. When he had accepted the truth about himself. When he dreamed of eating his father. 

Being found by Erwin and Levi. The first time Levi had kissed him. The first time he had believed Levi lost to him for good.

Finding Mikasa again. Finding Armin.

And (he hopes, for the last time) the day before his marriage. 

Levi had disappeared after his spontaneous proposal, going to talk to Hanji about getting the license. Eren spent the day even more pleasantly distracted than usual. 

He didn’t see Levi at all until after dinner, but he drilled with Mikasa’s Squad and ate meals with them and did his chores, and when he came up to their room that night Levi was sitting by the fire, looking pensive. There was a piece of paper in his lap, and when Eren came to sit by him he handed it over without a word. 

Eren looked at it, warmly pleased. He had probably been to a dozen or more weddings in his life; it had been common for the whole village to be invited whenever someone was married. The language was just as he remembered and he didn’t really read it, just basked in the flowery ink script and the thick wax seal for a moment before looking up at Levi.

That was when he knew something was wrong. Yesterday he hadn’t even thought of marrying Levi, and today he’d thought of nothing else. Letting go of that was hard; like trying to pry his fingers loose, one at a time; impossible.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, keeping much calmer than he had any right to. He was careful to touch only the edges of the paper, so it wouldn’t wrinkle.

“It’s a contract,” Levi said, almost inaudible.

Eren glanced down at it, then back up at him: _so?_

Wordlessly Levi reached out and touched two fingers to the paper: _look._

_“...to honor you, above all others…to hold no other above you...”_

“That’s what it means,” Levi said. “I didn’t think, when I asked you, I…can’t.”

“What do you mean?” Eren asked, actually calm now. A thousand terrible possibilities had sprung up, from Levi changing his mind about marrying him to Levi changing his mind about _him_. He swept them all out.

“I wasn’t thinking, Eren. What we’re facing...what we’re fighting for is bigger than ourselves. If it comes down to it I can’t choose you. Even if I want to.

“What I owe to them...to everyone who’s sacrificed their life, for our cause is more important than my personal feelings.”

“Levi…” he had it now, and he wanted to collapse in relief. “Levi, you don’t have to apologize to me for being yourself...I love you for who you are.”

“You don’t understand--”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Eren said--and in spite of the high tension running between them--because of it, maybe--he grabbed Levi’s hand. “You’re talking about if you have to choose between my life and saving everyone. You’re talking about if you have to kill me.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re saying you’d let me die--or even kill me--even if you didn’t want to.”

“Yes,” Levi said miserably.

“I knew that already,” Eren said agreeably.

“Eren--” Levi closed his eyes. He thought Eren was being obtuse--or irreverent. “When I rescued you from the Underground it wasn’t because of my feelings...it was because I knew how important you and Historia both were to our future. I doubted Erwin’s motives, and...”

“Okay, well I think you did do that a little bit for me, even if it wasn’t the whole reason,” Eren said, unable to resist. Levi just looked back at him painfully. More seriously he added, “Why do you think I love you? Why do you think everybody does?”

Levi made a skeptical noise; Eren squeezed his hand.

“You’re the heart of the Corp,” he said. “Erwin makes the calculations, but you know how much each life cost. I haven’t been here that long, but I know that. Everyone does. You don’t waste lives needlessly; you never have. That’s why--”

Levi put a hand over his mouth, and Eren grabbed him by the wrist and kissed his fingers away. “I know,” he said. “I know.” He kissed Levi on the mouth. “It’s selfish of me, maybe, but I know you wouldn’t choose me, and I’m glad. I don’t want to be a monster. I don’t want anyone to suffer because of me. I want to do something useful with myself before I die. I always have.”

“Eren--”

“It might not come to that, anyway. Maybe we’ll win. Maybe we both will.”

Levi pulled away from him and stared into the fire. “We’re going to die tragically,” he said harshly. “If we’re lucky we’ll both die at the same time; that’s the best we can hope for.”

Eren was so fiercely glad then that he’d made it through every obstacle and trial to get _here._ Because it meant that Levi trusted him enough to share this with him. Because he thought it would frighten Eren, or hurt him.

Because the worst thing Levi can imagine now is being parted from him. 

He pulled Levi’s stiff body close, wrapping his longer arms and legs around him, kissed him even if it was only the illusion of protection because this was what he had to give. “If I die, then you’ll keep fighting for me,” he said calmly. “And if you die, then I’ll keep fighting. Because you love me. I won’t throw my life away.” 

He felt Levi shiver in his arms; fear or pleasure or relief or anger. He didn’t know yet. But he would; and there was pleasure in that thought, the pleasure of knowing, of untwining Levi from his protective crouch to lie sprawled and relaxed beside him, even if it’s just in rare and tiny moments.

He picked up the license carefully in one hand, and kissed Levi’s temple. “They’re just words on a page,” he said softly. “I know what you mean in your heart. You have no deep dark secrets there.”

Levi snorted. “That’s what you think.”

“No, what I know. You’re a man of honor and you keep your word, and if you want we can just burn it now. It won’t change anything.”

Levi was looking at him now, challenging but afraid, and Eren smiled back reassuringly.

“I know what you meant, when you asked me,” he said softly. “I knew it all.” He tossed the paper towards the fire, and quicker than thought Levi had snatched it back, safe in his hands. He stood up and Eren let him go, crossing his legs underneath him.

“If I have to kill you…”

“You have to promise you won’t hate yourself,” Eren said, and Levi stared at him. “Because you’ll be doing it for me.”

Levi sighed. “You’re crazy,” he said in resignation. “Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who can actually put you first? That’s not the only thing that could happen. I have to put the Survey Corp first. Humanity first.”

“We both do,” Eren said. “What about you? Would you rather have somebody else?”

Levi laughed humorlessly. “I don’t want anybody,” he said. 

“Such brazen lies,” Eren said, and he did get to his feet then, and closed the space between them--whether Levi was ready for it or not. He took the license and put it on Levi’s desk, safe under a book. “We can fight about this all night, but I can think of better things to do,” he said, tugging Levi towards the bed.

Levi didn’t budge; he stared at their clasped hands. “You do understand.”

“I knew already, Levi. Practically the first thing you two said to me was that you’d kill me if I misbehaved; I’ve always known I’ve been living on borrowed time. I accepted your suit with that in mind.”

Levi was smiling--not visibly, but Eren saw it just the same. “I guess I can’t renege then,” he said, almost too low to hear. “Since I’m a man of my word.”

“It would look pretty bad,” Eren agreed. “Toying with my affections--my, uh, boyish innocence--”

“Innocence,” Levi scoffed, and Eren took that as his cue.

He kissed him: again, again, again. Maybe he can't kiss away all of Levi's worries, but he can enthusiastically try.

_Tomorrow,_ he thought happy, and exultant in victory, _tomorrow…_

**Author's Note:**

> <3 feedback!


End file.
